University  of  California. 


1  FT   OF 


YOUNG    WOMEN. 


BY  WILLIAM  G.  ELIOT,  JA 
> t 

PASTOE   OF  TUB   CHURCH   07  THE  MESSIAH,  SI     >.OUTS. 


OP   T     . 

(UNIVERSITY 

TENTH  EDITTOW. 


BOSTON: 
AMERICAN    UNITARIAN    ASSOCIATION. 

1880. 


G 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1853,  Dy 

CROSBY,  NICHOLS,  AND  COMPANY, 
fc  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts 


i 


CONTENTS, 


INTRODUCTORY  LECTURE. 

PAGl 

AN    APPEAL     .......  5 


LECTURE  IL 
BOMB     .  .  •         |  •  •  •  •  .36 

LECTURE  m. 
DUTIES 69 

LECTURE  IV. 
EDUCATION 100 

LECTURE  V. 
FOLLIES          - 133 

LECTURE  VI. 

ROMAN'S  MISSION          .        .        .         .         .     165 


INTRODUCTORY   LECTURE. 


AN  APPEAL. 


"  Favor  is  deceitful  and  beauty  is  vain  ;  but  a  woman  that  feareth  the 
Lord,  she  shall  be  praised."  —  Prov.  xxxi.  30. 


MY  present  discourse  will  be  introductory 
to  a  series  of  sermons,  upon  the  duties  and 
responsibility  of  woman.  It  is  an  undertak- 
ing upon  which  I  enter  with  diffidence  and  al- 
most with  reluctance ;  for  I  can  hope  to  say 
nothing  new  and  have  no  desire  to  afford  mere 
entertainment.  My  desire  is  to  do  good  to 
those  who  hear  me,  and  especially  to  the 
young,  by  exciting  them  to  more  serious  re- 
flection than  they  are  probably  accustomed  to 
bestow  upon  the  common  duties  of  life  and 
their  responsibility  to  God.  My  only  hope  of 
accomplishing  this  is  by  the  expression  of  well- 
known  truths,  in  a  plain  and  simple  manner. 


AN    APPEAL. 


But  how  far  plain  truth,  plainly  spoken,  will 
be  acceptable,  no  one  can  tell  until  he  tries. 

The  years  of  girlhood  and  early  woman- 
hood are  generally  so  bright,  that  the  shadow 
of  mature  reflection  scarcely  falls  upon  them. 
The  enjoyment  of  life  is  so  fresh  and  sweet, 
that  the  serious  responsibility  which  life  im- 
poses seldom  engages  the  thoughts.  The  path 
of  life  is  strewn  with  flowers,  and  if  thorns 
sometimes  appear,  it  is  only  those  which  grow 
upon  the  flowers  themselves  and  are  insep- 
arable from  their  beauty.  The  days  of  the 
young  maiden  dwelling  under  a  father's  roof, 
with  the  kind  protection  of  a  mother's  love, 
shielded  by  the  proud  affection  of  brothers 
who  love  her  almost  with  jealous  tenderness, 
glide  onward,  not  without  care,  not  without 
disappointment,  not  without  tears,  but  with 
almost  uninterrupted  enjoyment.  She  feels 
herself  to  be  loved  by  every  one,  and  that  those 
whom  she  loves  take  pride  in  pleasing  her. 
Their  kindness  is  lavished  upon  her  in  daily 
tokens  of  affection ;  she  is  everywhere  met 
with  smiles ;  her  most  trifling  endeavors  to 


AN    APPEAL.  1 

please  are  successful ;  she  is  praised  as  being 
amiable,  if  willing  to  be  happy.  I  know  that 
she  has  trials  which  seem  to  her  very  great ; 
but  in  after  life  she  will  look  back  upon  those 
years,  before  the  serious  duties  of  life  began, 
as  we  recall  a  pleasant  dream.  When  her 
brow  is  saddened  under  the  weight  of  cares 
from  which  the  wife  and  mother  never  escape, 
of  the  anxieties  to  which  the  tenderness  of 
woman's  nature  always  makes  her  subject,  she 
will  think  of  those  blessed  days  when  her 
chief  responsibility  was  in  childlike  obedience, 
in  the  performance  of  duties  so  light  that  they 
were  little  more  than  recreation,  rewarded  by 
the  approving  smile  or  checked  by  the  gentle 
rebuke  of  love,  until  the  remembrance  fills  the 
eye  with  tears  and  the  heart  almost  with  sad- 
ness. 

Fond  and  bright  days  of  youth,  enjoyed  but 
once ;  when  we  know  nothing  of  the  world's 
sins,  and  very  little  of  its  grief;  when  all  our 
friendships  are  inseparable  and  our  confidence 
without  reserve ;  when  the  denial  of  a  pleasure 
is  the  severest  trial,  and  the  path  of  duty  so 


AN    APPEAL. 


easily  trodden  that  the  sense  of  duty  is  scarce- 
ly felt ;  when  we  hear  of  the  wickedness  of  the 
world,  only  as  one  who  sits  at  the  quiet,  cheer- 
ful fireside  hears  the  howling  of  the  storm  and 
thinks  vaguely,  but  pitifully,  of  the  wretches 
whom  it  destroys ;  —  we  do  not  prize  them  as 
we  ought  until  they  are  past,  until,  perhaps, 
"  the  days  come,  in  which  we  say,  we  have  no 
pleasure  in  them."  We  do  not  know  how 
perfectly  beautiful  is  the  cloudless  sky,  or  the 
bright  April  day  when  the  fleeting  showers 
serve  only  to  give  greater  freshness  to  the 
earth's  new  beauty,  until  the  long-continued 
storms  of  winter  come,  and  the  heavens  are 
obscured  by  clouds,  and  the  sun  itself  looks 
down  upon  us  with  cold  and  cheerless  light. 

Yet  I  would  not  speak  as  those  who  regret 
the  short  continuance  of  spring.  The  sum- 
mer, and  the  autumn,  and  the  winter  are 
each  beautiful  in  its  place.  Childhood  and 
youth,  the  years  of  maturity  and  advancing 
life,  and  also  the  declining  years  of  old  age, 
may  become  to  us  equally  full  of  real  enjoy- 
ment, if,  as  we  advance  in  that  certain  pro- 


AN   APPEAL.  9 

gress,  we  keep  the  face  still  turned  towards 
heaven  and  walk  in  companionship  with  God. 
Nay,  the  true  enjoyment  of  life  should  contin- 
ually become  greater.  As  the  ripened  fruit  is 
better  than  the  beautiful  promise  of  spring, 
although  gathered  under  skies  that  are  becom- 
ing more  sober,  and  the  threatening  of  chill 
winter  is  near;  so  are  the  mature  enjoyments 
of  middle  and  advancing  life  better  than  the 
laughter  and  frolic  of  earlier  days.  And  as 
the  winter  itself,  which  shuts  up  the  treasure- 
houses  of  the  kindly  earth,  and,  by  the  with- 
drawal of  external  allurements,  turns  our 
thoughts  to  the  pleasures  of  the  fireside  and 
friendly  intercourse,  and  gives  us  time  for  re- 
flection, often  becomes  the  happiest  season  of 
the  year ;  and  we  look  forward  with  joy  to  its 
long  evenings,  in  which,  after  the  short  day's 
duties  are  done,  we  learn  how  much  we  love 
each  other,  and  the  seclusion  from  the  world 
makes  our  love  more  tender ;  so  that  there  is 
no  other  season  which  we  would  so  unwilling- 
ly spare,  as  that  which  at  first  seems  the  most 
dreary:  Thus  it  is,  in  the  experience  of  hu- 


10  .IN   APPEAL. 

man  life,  that  in  its  closing  years,  when  the 
almond-tree  begins  to  flourish,  our  highest  and 
most  perfect  enjoyment  may  come.  If  the 
former  seasons  have  been  wisely  spent ;  if  we 
have  laid  up  for  ourselves  a  treasury  of  pleas- 
ant recollections,  if  the  chambers  of  our  im- 
agery are  filled  with  beautiful  pictures ;  if,  as 
we  sit  down  quietly  in  the  soberness  of 
thought,  the  past  brings  no  feeling  of  s^ame 
and  the  future  no  trembling;  — then  does  that 
part  of  life,  which  seems  to  the  observer  so 
quiet  as  to  be  almost  sad,  become  more  excel- 
lent than  all  that  has  gone  before.  The  step 
must  lose  its  elasticity,  but  the  heart  may  re- 
tain its  youth.  To  the  physical  frame  the 
grasshopper  may  become  a  burden,  but  the 
soul  is  stronger  than  in  the  days  of  youth,  and 
all  the  burdens  of  time  are  light  to  him  whose 
spirit  reaches  forward  to  eternity.  I  know 
how  many  are  the  sorrows  of  life;  I  know 
how  poignant  its  grief,  how  severe  its  disap- 
pointments ;  but  they  who  learn  to  remember 
the  Creator  in  the  days  of  their  youth,  and 
who  walk  with  their  Saviour  as  with  a  friend, 


AN    APPEAL.  11 

going  about  to  do  good,  consecrating  their 
best  strength  to  the  service  of  God,  will  find 
that  they  daily  bercome  happy  in  the  enjoy- 
ment of  what  God  gives,  and  that  the  shadow 
which  memory  casts  cannot  obscure  the 
brightness  of  that  hope  which  shines  upon 
their  path  from  heaven. 

But  whence  cometh  this  blessedness?  The 
seed  must  be  sown  in  spring,  in  the  soft 
ground  and  under  the  fertilizing  showers,  the 
long  days  of  summer  must  ripen  it,  while  the 
weeds  are  kept  away  by  careful  cultivation,  or 
the  autumn  will  have  no  good  fruit,  and  the 
needful  provision  for  winter  will  be  wanting. 
Those  bright  days  of  youth,  when  the  heart  is 
tender  and  smiles  and  tears  so  quickly  chase 
each  other,  must  have  their  hours  of  reflection 
and  sober  thought.  The  good  seeds  of  virtue 
and  religion  must  be  then  planted.  We  must 
cultivate  them,  with  the  hope  that,  under  the 
dews  of  God's  grace  and  the  sunshine  of  his 
love,  they  may  spring  up  and  bear  the  fruit  of 
righteousness,  or  our  life  will  be  a  growing 
sadness ;  each  added  year  will  be  an  increas* 


12  AN    APPEAL. 

ing  burden,  and  sorrow  will  become  the  por- 
tion of  our  cup."  We  would  not  lessen  the 
brightness  of  the  maiden's4  life;  the  overflow 
of  her  innocent  mirth  brings  gladness  even  to 
the  heart  of  age.  But  she,  too,  should  have 
her  seasons  of  thought,  of  serious  reflection 
and  of  prayer.  Life  is  to  her,  also,  a  respon- 
sibility, a  time  of  probation.  She,  too,  has  a 
duty  to  perform,  and  hereafter  an  account  to 
render.  She  should  learn  to  look,  therefore, 
upon  the  earnest  realities  of  life,  not  less  than 
upon  its  brightness  and  beauty.  She  must 
not  suppose,  because  she  is  so  fondly  cher- 
ished now,  her  wishes  all  consulted,  and  her 
pathway  strewn  with  flowers,  that  it  will 
always  be  so.  The  charms  of  beauty  and 
youth  may  now  secure  the  tokens  of  willing 
approbation,  and  the  fondness  of  admiring 
hearts;  but  when  these  fade,  as  they  must 
soon,  unless  their  place  is  supplied  by  the  bet- 
ter charms  of  a  sweet  temper,  a  well-educated 
mind,  and  a  religious  character,  the  neglect  she 
will  experience  must  be  in  the  same  propor- 
tion, both  sad  and  humiliating.  From  this  the 


AN    APPEAL.  13 

chief  disappointments  of  woman's  life  proceed. 
When  her  early  fascinations  surround  her,  she 
hears  continually  the  language  of  praise ;  he, 
faults  are  quickly  excused,  every  hand  is  ex- 
tended to  help  her,  every  face  meets  her  with 
a  smile.  She  supposes  that  it  will  always  be 
the  same,  and  so  perhaps  it  would  be  if  the 
same  fascinations  continued.  But  they  must 
fade,  and  if  nothing  better  takes  their  place, 
ought  she  to  wonder  if  she  is  slighted,  and  the 
tokens  of  that  spontaneous  approbation  with- 
drawn? Ought  she  not  to  have  the  good 
sense  to  perceive,  that  admiration  is  a  differ 
ent  thing  from  love ;  and  while  she  is  pleased 
with  the  attention  that  youth  and  beauty 
bring,  is  it  not  better  to  seek  for  the  affection 
which  is  founded  upon  respect?  But  who 
can  respect  the  butterfly,  however  beautiful  it 
may  seem,  however  brightly  clothed  in  the 
gay  painting  of  its  rainbow  wings  ?  Who 
wishes  for,  or  can  endure,  as  the  companion 
of  life,  one  whose  highest  thought  is  her  own 
gratification,  and  by  whom  the  incense  of  ad- 
miration is  exacted  as  her  unquestioned  right? 


14  AN    APPEAL. 

It  is  pleasant  for  a  time  to  expend  one's  inge- 
nuity in  the  adornment  of  a  beautiful  image, 
or  in  gazing  upon  a  beautiful  picture ;  but 
who  wishes  to  spend  his  life  in  such  a  way  ? 
Even  if  the  image  retain  its  beauty,  and  the 
picture  the  brightness  of  its  hues,  the  language 
of  admiration  will  gradually  become  faint,  and 
more  substantial  pleasure  will  be  sought.  But 
if,  as  the  truth  must  be,  the  fair  image  itself 
gradually  loses  its  beauty,  and  the  bright  col- 
ors of  the  picture  fade ;  if  the  sparkling  dia- 
monds, which  we  wreathe  around  the  brow, 
begin  to  suggest  the  feeling  of  painful  con- 
trast, and  the  pearls  encircling  the  neck  serve 
only  to  call  attention  to  the  changes  by  which 
time  marks  his  relentless  steps,  —  who  can 
wonder  that  weariness  comes  in  the  place  of 
ecstasy,  and  sometimes  disgust  in  the  place 
of  admiration  ? 

I  would  not  speak  unkindly.  I  know  how 
great  are  the  wrongs  which  woman  endures. 
There  are  shallow-hearted  men  enough,  and 
selfish  and  bad  men,  under  whose  power,  in 
the  different  relations  of  life,  woman  is  placed. 


AN    APPEAL.  15 

They  seek  her  love  as  a  transient  gratification 
to  themselves,  and  when  they  have  obtained 
it  use  their  power  to  disappoint  all  her  hopes, 
to  blight  all  her  affections.  They  admire  her 
at  first  only  as  the  child  admires  a  plaything, 
and,  as  the  child,  quickly  become  tired  of  it. 
They  have  not  largeness  of  heart  enough  to 
appreciate  the  excellences  of  her  character  or 
to  overlook  the  faults  of  her  inexperience,  and 
she  becomes  their  servant  through  her  whole 
life,  in  the  vain  endeavor  to  please  those  who 
are  not  worth  pleasing,  and  to  gain  the  love 
of  those  whom  she  has  honored  by  loving. 
This  experience  is  so  common  and  so  painful, 
that  I  cannot  help  wondering  to  see  the  read- 
iness, almost  the  thoughtlessness,  with  which 
women  trust  the  whole  happiness  of  their  lives 
to  men  of  whom  they  know  nothing,  except 
that  they  are  ingenious  in  paying  compliments 
and  persevering  in  their  attentions.  In  return 
for  this  cheap  incense,  they  bestow  the  best 
affection  of  their  hearts,  and  lay  up  for  them- 
selves a  store  of  disappointment.  When  the 
real  trials  of  life  and  its  vexations  come,  they 


16  AN    APPEAL. 

find  but  little  sympathy.  Every  thing  that 
goes  wrong  is  imputed  to  them  ;  their  silent 
but  diligent  exertion  to  make  every  thing  go 
right,  is  unobserved ;  and  life,  instead  of  being 
the  rich  experience  of  mutual  affection  and 
forbearance  and  gentleness,  one  towards  an- 
other, becomes  almost  a  blank  ;  —  a  routine 
of  duty  which  brings  no  pleasure  but  that 
which  the  performance  of  duty  always  brings, 
and  which  wants  that  best  human  reward,  the 
approbation  of  those  we  love. 

Sometimes  the  case  is  still  worse,  and  we 
see  those  who  are  gentle,  pure-minded,  and 
lovely  giving  their  hands,  with  their  hearts  in 
them,  to  men  who  perhaps  warmly  love  them 
in  return,  But  whose  habits  and  associations 
in  life  are  well  known  to  be  such  that  a  pure- 
minded  woman  ought  to  shrink  from  them,  if 
not  with  horror,  yet  with  distrust.  They  who 
incur  such  a  risk  are  generally  actuated,  either 
by  a  degree  of  affection  which  prevents  them 
from  seeing  the  uncertainty,  not  to  say  the 
hopelessness,  of  the  prospect ;  or  by  the  ro- 
mantic yet  admirable  spirit  of  self-sacrifice, 


AN    APPEAL.  17 

which  leads  them  to  incur  the  most  fearful 
danger,  for  the  sake  of  saving  those  whom 
they  love  from  ruin.  They  hope  that  their 
influence  will  be  greater  after  marriage  than 
before,  and  too  often  find,  with  breaking 
hearts,  that  it  is  less.  They  find,  when  too 
late,  that  their  self-sacrificing  devotion  was 
misplaced,  and  that  the  martyr-spirit  has  not 
brought  to  them  the  martyr's  reward.  A  no- 
ble effort  indeed,  a  noble  purpose,  which  none 
but  woman's  heart  is  able  to  conceive,  but 
which  even  woman's  love  is  seldom  able  to  ac- 
complish !  If  her  influence  over  the  man  she 
loves  is  not  strong  enough  to  turn  him  from 
dissipated  or  sinful  habits  before  she  surren- 
ders her  liberty  to  him,  there  is  little  proba- 
bility of  such  a  result  afterward. 

If  the  possession  of  a  virtuous  woman's  love, 
and  the  hope  that  she  may  become  his  own,  is 
not  enough  to  keep  his  hand  from  the  cup  of 
intoxication,  and  his  feet  from  the  paths  where 
sinners  walk,  the  claims  of  married  life  are  not 
likely  to  do  it.  He  will  hear  words  of  counsel 
from  his  betrothed,  which  he  will  not  listen  to 
2 


J8  AN   APPEAL. 

from  his  wife.  With  the  hope  of  bliss  before 
him,  he  will  make  promises  in  which  he  fully 
believes,  but  which,  having  obtained  his  re- 
ward, he  is  not  able  to  keep.  I  have  had 
many  opportunities  of  observing  where  this 
experiment  has  been  tried,  and  the  result  has 
been  so  uniformly  the  same,  that  I  am  willing 
to  run  the  risk  of  seeming  harsh  in  its  state- 
ment. My  advice  to  a  sister  or  to  a  daughter, 
and  therefore  to  all  whom  I  have  the  right  to 
advise,  would  be  given  without  any  hesitation, 
without  any  reserve:  "Be  sure  that  the  man 
whom  you  love  is  now  a  good  and  temperate 
and  faithful  man,  or  let  your  heart  break,  rath- 
er than  become  his  wife.  Say  not  to  him, 
Conduct  yourself  rightly  for  six  months,  or 
twelve  months,  as  a  test  of  sincerity.  It  is  in- 
sufficient. For  so  short  a  time  and  with  so 
great  reward  in  immediate  prospect,  a  man 
must  be  brutal  indeed  not  to  restrain  himself. 
But  satisfy  yourself  beyond  all  reasonable 
doubt,  that  the  principle  of  self-control  is  there, 
the  practised  love  of  virtue,  the  confirmed  hab- 
it of  a  sober  and  pure  life,  before  you  speak 


AN  APPEAL.  19 

another  word  of  encouragement,  and  if  possi 
ble  before  youi  .ove  itself  is  bestowed." 

I  know  that  this  language  may  seem  too 
stern  and  rigid,  but  it  does  not  come  from 
stern  or  harsh  feeling.  There  have  been  times 
when  I  have  advised  differently,  but  the  result 
has  taught  me  better. 

She  who  becomes  the  wife  of  a  man  who 
has  ever  been  dissipated,  is  incurring  as  great 
a  risk  as  any  one  should  incur,  and  far  greater 
than  she  knows.  Surely  it  is  not  too  much 
to  ask  that  the  reform  should  be  complete,  un- 
conditional, and  long  continued,  before  she 
trusts  to  its  completeness. 

But  on  the  other  side,  if  a  woman  has  a 
right  to  demand  the  fixed  character  of  a  virtu- 
ous life,  we  too  have  a  right  to  demand  some- 
thing. The  man  who  discovers,  when  too 
late,  that  she  whom  he  had  pictured  to  him- 
self almost  as  an  angel,  gentle,  sweet-tem- 
pered, easily  pleased,  with  a  smile  for  every 
one  and  a  frown  for  none,  appeared  so  beauti- 
ful only  because  untried,  —  that  her  character 
has  no  depth,  and  ner  mind  no  real  accom- 


20  AN  APPEAL. 

* 

plishments,  —  is  not  to  be  blamed  if  he  feels 
disappointed,  nor  to  be  wondered  at  if  he 
shows  his  disappointment  by  neglect.  He  feels 
'almost  as  if  he  had  been  entrapped,  when  he 
was  entranced  ;  that  he  has  been  betrayed  into 
a  foolish  step  by  false  appearances.  Instead  of 
finding  a  help-meet,  he  finds  one  who  expects 
continually  to  be  waited  on,  caressed,  and  flat- 
tered ;  who  has  no  definite  expectation  except 
to  spend  the  money  which  he  makes,  and  to 
remain  the  idol  of  his  affections  because  she 
consents  to  be  admired. 

On  her  part,  she  discovers  her  mistake  soon 
enough,  and,  if  she  has  moderately  good  sense, 
will  studiously  endeavor  to  increase  the  fasci- 
nation of  her  character,  as  the  charm  of  novel- 
ty dies  away.  But  on  his  part. the  effect  is 
too  often  a  disenchantment  which  opens  his 
eyes,  even  too  widely,  to  her  faults,  and  makes 
him  impatient  of  her  efforts  to  correct  them. 
It  Is  very  hard  for  her  to  do  after  marriage 
what  she  ought  to  have  done  before ;  and  it 
is  a  vexation  to  him  to  learn,  that  the  whole 
substantial  education  of  his  wife  is  yet  to  be 


AN  APPEAL.  21 

begun.  Mutual  disappointment  brings  mu- 
tual fault  -finding,  and  the  bliss  of  married  life 
is  found  to  have  been  a  dream.  If  there  is 
a  general  good  purpose  on  both  sides,  and 
strong  mutual  affection,  the  lapse  of  two  or 
three  years  will  bring  things  right,  with  a 
comfortable  degree  of  rational  bliss.  But  it 
would  be  far  better,  if  greater  maturity  of 
character  could  exist  from  the  first.  It  would 
be  far  better,  if  those  early  disappointments 
and  recriminations  could  be  avoided,  and  this 
would  be  done,  in  part  at  least,  if  the  self-edu- 
cation of  woman  in  her  youthful  days  were 
more  carefully  attended  to ;  if  it  could  be  more 
deeply  impressed  upon  her,  that  the  graces 
of  character  are  more  excellent  than  personal 
loveliness,  however  attractive  it  may  be. 

The  beautiful  face  attracts  admiration,  its 
pleasant  smile  wins  the  love,  and  all  the  sur- 
roundings with  which  youth  and  beauty  en- 
circle themselves  dazzle  the  eye  and  take  the 
heart  captive.  But  she  is  very  unwise  who 
relies  upon  such  things  for  her  permanent  in- 
fluence, or  as  the  foundation  of  happiness.  It 


22  AN  APPEAL. 

is  those  virtues  which  entitle  her  to  be  called 
lovely,  and  that  cultivation  of  mind  which 
enables  her  to  share  the  thoughts  and  cares  ot 
her  husband,  while  they  command  his  respect, 
—  it  is  these  upon  which  she  ought  chiefly  to 
rely.  These  do  not  come  of  themselves  ;  they 
are  the  result  of  self-discipline,  self-denial,  and 
self-control.  They  are  not  obtained  easily, 
but  are  partly  the  reward  of  persevering  en- 
deavor, and  partly  the  answer  to  prayer. 

I  am  inclined  to  think  that  young  persons 
of  the  gentler  sex  give  but  little  time  to  seri- 
ous reflection,  or  to  preparation  for  the  real 
duties  of  life.  The  world  in  which  they  live 
is,  in  some  respects,  quite  unreal  and  different 
from  that  upon  which  they  afterwards  must 
enter.  The  task  of  self-discipline  and  of  self- 
education,  both  moral  and  religious,  is  more 
difficult  because  its  necessity  is  less  evident.  t 
The  temptations  to  which  they  are  exposed 
are  few,  the  faults  which  they  are  likely  to 
commit  comparatively  trifling,  and  their  char- 
acter is  not  so  much  in  danger  of  being  bad 
as  of  being  unformed. 


AN  APPEAL.  23 

The  young  man,  from  the  time  of  his  first 
entrance  into  life,  meets  with  the  real  trials 
and  is  exposed  to  the  worst  dangers  of  the 
world.  The  temptations  which  assail  him  are 
such,  that  if  he  yields  to  them  he  is  manifestly 
ruined.  The  faults  of  which  he  is  most  likely 
to  be  guilty  are  in  themselves  sins  and  vices 
by  the  greatness  of  which  his  vigilance  is  kept 
alive.  He  feels  it  to  be  a  question  of  life  and 
death,  and  if  he  is  wise,  lays  hold  upon  it  as 
upon  the  work  of  salvation.  The  greatness 
and  urgency  of  his  work  therefore  nerve  him 
to  its  accomplishment.  Many  fail  to  do  it 
and  are  ruined,  but  by  many  it  is  faithfully 
accomplished,  as  I  trust  it  will  be  by  all  those 
who  may  hear  me  this  day. 

But  with  woman  the  case  is  different.  In 
the  departments  of  life  where  those  who  now 
hear  me  walk,  the  question  is  not  of  virtue  or 
vice,  of  sobriety  or  intemperance,  of  honesty 
or  fraud.  That  question  is  settled  by  the  cir- 
cumstances of  life  and  the  restraints  of  socie- 
ty. She  shrinks  with  horror  from  the  world's 
iniquities,  of  which  she  knows  almost  nothing, 


24  AN  APPEAL. 

and  to  which  her  thoughts  are  seldom  turned. 
Let  it  be  so  always.  Let  there  still  be  a  part 
of  the  human  family,  from  whose  eyes  human 
deformity  is  veiled.  Let  it  be  woman's  privi- 
lege, not  only  to  be  free  from  the  contagion  of 
the  world's  iniquity,  but  to  be  ignorant,  except 
so  far  as  her  own  safety  requires  the  knowl 
edge,  of  its  existence. 

But  does  it  follow  that  she  has  no  faults  to 
correct  or  to  avoid  ?  Are  there  no  wrong  ten- 
dencies of  character,  because  they  are  likely 
to  be  checked  before  they  reach  their  worst 
development  ?  Such  is  not  the  estimate  of 
sin  given  by  the  Gospel.  It  teaches  us  to 
measure  the  degree  of  guilt  in  every  heart 
by  the  degree  of  selfishness  and  worldliness, 
rather  than  by  the  grossness  or  refinement 
of  the  outward  act.  The  character  may 
become  so  selfish,  and  the  heart  so  worldly, 
and  the  mind  so  frivolous,  that  both  the  ca- 
pacity and  desire  for  improvement  are  almost 
lost,  in  those  whose  manners  are  perfectly 
ladylike,  and  whose  morals,  according  to  the 
common  idea  of  morality,  are  perfectly  cor- 


AN    APPEAL.  25 

rect.  For  a  long  time  the  evil  may  not  be 
discerned.  They  who  have  every  thing  they 
wish  for,  and  to  whom  almost  every  one  is 
willing  to  give  way,  may  be  completely  selfish 
almost  without  knowing  it  themselves,  and 
without  showing  their  selfishness  in  a  man- 
ner to  give  offence. 

They  to  whom  the  occupation  of  life  is 
nothing  but  enjoyment,  may  become  worldly 
to  such  a  degree  as  to  drive  out  all  thoughts 
of  God  and  religion,  except  so  far  as  the 
church  may  be  a  fashionable  resort,  without 
being  suspected  of  an  irreligious  life.  They 
to  whom  laughter  and  mirth  are  so  becoming, 
and  upon  whose  lips  the  words  of  serious  con- 
versation seem  almost  out  of  place,  may  be 
immersed  in  frivolous  and  idle  pursuits,  until 
they  are  incapable  of  loving  any  thing  else, 
without  danger  of  being  called  silly  or  heart- 
less. And  so  it  happens,  not  unfrequently, 
that  many  pass  from  the  days  of  girlhood  to 
those  of  wromanly  years,  without  maturity 
of  character,  and  completely  unprepared  for 
the  real  duties  of  woman's  life.  The  transi- 


26  AN   APPEAL. 

tion  is  very  sudden,  from  the  entire  freedom 
from  care,  to  a  multitude  of  little  vexations 
which  try  the  temper,  to  the  responsible  du- 
ties of  wife  and  mother,  for  which  the  whole 
strength  of  a  mature  character  is  required. 
Then,  too  often,  she  finds  how  much  she  has 
been  mistaken  in  herself,  and  her  friends  find, 
with  equal  disappointment,  how  much  they 
have  been  mistaken  in  her.  She  craves  un- 
divided attention,  and  not  receiving  it,  is 
vexed  and  impatient.  She  expects  uninter- 
rupted enjoyment,  and  not  finding  it,  is  dis- 
contented and  full  of  complaint.  Her  temper, 
which  seems  so  gentle,  is  found  to  be  quick 
arid  petulant ;  her  disposition,  which  in  the 
sunshine  was  so  sweet,  proves  to  be,  under 
the  common  trials  of  life,  harsh  and  sour. 
Her  friendship  is  invaded  by  envy,  her  love 
is  so  exacting  that  it  continually  finds  food 
for  jealousy,  and  the  result  is,  at  the  best,  the 
very  commonplace  character  of  a  worldly- 
minded  and  selfish  woman,  whom  it  is  diffi- 
cult to  love,  and  impossible  to  respect.  It  is 
the  natural  result  of  a  character  unformed, 


AN   APPEAL.  27 

and  of  a  mind  undisciplined  in  early  life.  It 
is  the  natural,  and  not  the  extreme,  develop- 
ment of  those  selfish  and  worldly  tendencies, 
which  her  early  education,  as  frequently  con- 
ducted, is  most  likely  to  create. 

Let  the  young  lady  pause  for  a  few  moments, 
and  with  serious  reflection  ask  herself,  how 
large  a  part  of  her  time  is  given  to  amuse- 
ment or  to  the  preparation  for  it,  which  is 
sometimes  her  only  labor,  and  how  small  a 
part  to  any  thing  that  could  be  called  self- 
education  and  religious  improvement.  How 
large  a  part  is  given  to  the  adornment  of  her 
person,  and  how  small  to  the  adornment  of 
her  uiind.  With  how  great  eagerness  she 
prepares  herself  for  the  ball-room  and  theatre, 
and  with  what  languor  for  the  church.  What 
diligent  care  she  takes  that  her  steps  may 
be  rightly  trained  for  the  mazy  and  intricate 
and  sometimes  objectionable  dance,  and  how 
thoughtless  she  is  whether  her  feet  are  walk- 
ing in  the  pathway  of  duty,  of  propriety,  and 
religion.  I  cannot  but  think  that  many,  who 
are  not  purposely  living  bad  lives,  would  be 


28  AN    APPEAL. 

improved  by  such  reflection.  They  would 
discover,  perhaps,  that  their  lives,  without  be- 
ing bad,  may  be  exceedingly  unprofitable. 
They  will  certainly  see,  that  a  life  which  is 
little  else  than  a  varied  routine  of  idle  pleas- 
ures, of  trivial  cares  and  useless  occupations, 
is  but  a  poor  preparation  for  the  duties  of  a 
Christian  woman. 

You  know  that  my  views  upon  such  sub- 
jects do  not  incline  to  austerity.  I  can  dis- 
cern no  sin  in  youthful  gayety,  or  in  that  glad 
merriment  of  heart  so  natural  to  those  who 
are  free  from  care.  We  do  not  expect,  nor 
desire,  at  the  age  of  sixteen,  the  stillness  and 
sobriety  of  threescore  years.  It  would  be 
both  unnatural  and  unarniable.  But  we  may, 
nevertheless,  concede  that  a  touch  of  little 
more  seriousness,  a  gentle  shade  of  reflection, 
improves  the  fairest  face,  and  gives  to  the 
most  eloquent  eye  greater  persuasiveness, 
There  must  be  beauty  of  mind  shining  through 
the  features,  or  they  soon  become  insipid  and 
uninteresting.  Still  more,  there  must  be  re- 
ligious principle,  and  the  earnest  effort  to 


AN   APPEAL.  29 

form  the  character  in  the  heavenly  graces,  or 
the  experience  of  after  life  will  show  that  the 
laughter  was  like  -the  crackling  of  thorns,  and 
that  childhood  and  youth,  with  all  their  mer- 
riment, are  but  vanity. 

It  should  also  be  remembered,  that  the  in- 
fluence of  woman  is  very  great  when  she  is 
young  and  beautiful.  Although  she  is  not 
herself  exposed,  as  a  general  thing,  to  the 
danger  of  great  iniquity,  her  influence  is  very 
great  upon  those  in  whose  path  the  tempta- 
tion lies.  The  standard  of  morality  among  \ 
men  is,  to  a  considerable  extent,  fixed  by 
woman.  There  are  few  men  who  will  not 
admit  that  their  training,  either  in  virtue  or 
vice,  has  been  to  a  great  degree  according  to 
the  female  influences  under  which  their  early 
lives  were  passed. 

In  my  lectures  to  young  men,  I  said  that  it 
depends  upon  them  to  elevate  the  tone  of 
public  sentiment,  and  to  advance  the  cause 
of  public  morality,  in  this  city ;  that  it  is  for 
them  to  say  whether  intemperance  and  other 
forms  of  sin  shall  continue  to  increase  among 


30  AN   APPEAL. 

us,  or  daily  become  less  ;  that  the  moral  char- 
acter of  our  young  men  is  the  moral  charac- 
ter of  our  city,  and  that  the  one  can  be  ele- 
vated only  by  elevating  the  other.  I  believe 
that  this  is  strictly  true ;  but  perhaps  there 
is  an  influence  behind  that  equally  to  be  re- 
garded. Our  young  men  give  character  to 
the  city,  but  who  gives  character  to  them? 
What  plastic  hand  is  moulding  them  for  good 
or  evil?  At  what  shrine  is  their  allegiance 
first  offered,  and  whose  is  that  persuasive  voice 
which  it  is,  humanly  speaking,  impossible  for 
them  to  resist?  Very  often,  before  religion 
has  placed  its  restraining  hand  upon  themv 
before  they  have  adopted  any  fixed  principle 
of  life,  the  direction  to  their  whole  lives  is 
given  by  an  influence  which  they  have  felt, 
although  it  was  scarcely  discerned.  They 
may  trace  their  salvation  or  their  ruin,  for 
this  life  and  the  life  to  come,  perhaps  to  the 
smile  of  encouragement,  or  the  gentle  expres- 
sion of  reproof,  with  which  their  first  step  in 
folly  was  encountered.  I  would  not  willingly 
excite  a  smile  upon  a  subject  so  serious,  nor 


AN   APPEAL.  31 

turn  the  solemnity  of  these  great  interests 
into  the  channel  of  merriment;  but  it  has 
been  so  truly  said  that  it  may  be  seriously  re- 
peated, —  there  is  little  hope  of  reforming 
young  men,  and  keeping  them  in  the  path  of 
virtue,  unless  we  begin  by  reforming  young 
women,  and  teaching  them  to  give  their  best 
influence  to  the  cause  of  goodness  and  so- 
briety. "  You  may  rely  upon  it,';  said  a  young 
man  to  me  not  long  since,  and  he  was  one 
who  had  felt  the  influence  of  which  he  spoke, 
u  you  may  rely  upon  it,  that,  tf  they  mix  the 
drink  for  us,  we  will  not  refuse  to  take  it.  If 
their  lips  first  touch  the  glass,  we  are  sure  to 
drain  it.  If  they  evidently  think  us  better 
company  when  our  tongues  are  loosened  by 
wine,  and  join  in  the  laugh  when  we  tell 
them  of  our  follies,  ministers  may  as  well 
stop  their  preaching,  unless  they  can  go  a 
step  farther  back,  and  begin  at  the  right 
place."  It  is  quaintly  said,  and  has  the  air, 
at  first,  of  being  half  ludicrous,  half  satirical ; 
but  I  fear  that  it  is  more  than  half  true.  The 
influence  of  the  young  lady,  and  her  conse- 


32  AN    APPEAL. 

quent  responsibility,  is  very  great.  That  in- 
fluence is  often  thrown  on  the  side  of  immo- 
rality and  irreligion,  simply  because  she  does 
not  think  of  it  at  all. 

We  do  not  speak  now  of  specific  actions, 
by  which  she  often  throws  temptation  in 
the  way  of  those  who  seek  her  favor,  —  by 
leading  them  into  extravagance,  or  to  frivolous 
amusements,  to  the  waste  of  time,  and  to 
false  ideas  of  respectability,  —  nor  to  the  fas- 
cination which  she  sometimes  throws  around 
Jhe  first  steps  of  intemperance.  Such  sub- 
jects will  have  their  proper  place  in  other 
lectures.  We  are  speaking  now  of  general  in- 
fluence, —  the  influence  which  she  exerts  by 
her  real  character,  by  her  ideas  upon  religious 
and  moral  subjects  expressed  by  words  and 
conduct.  Every  woman,  whose  manners  are 
at  all  attractive,  is  exerting  such  an  influence 
wherever  she'  goes,  to  a  degree  which  it  is  im- 
possible to  estimate.  In  every  circle  she  fixes 
a  standard  of  morality,  above  which  few  men 
care  to  rise.  Woman's  perception  i>f  virtue 
is  genefally  understood  to  be  more  <dce  than 


AN    APPEAL.  33 

that  of  men ;  and  what  satisfies  her  is  sure  to 
meet  with  their  approval,  and,  generally  speak- 
ing, they  will  not  come  quite  up  to  the  mark. 
If  she  speaks  lightly  of  religion,  they  will 
blaspheme  it.  If  she  is  devoted  to  pleasure, 
they  will  enter  into  dissipation.  If  she  is 
heartless,  they  will  be  unprincipled.  If  she 
treats  temperance  as  a  joke,  they  will  regard 
intoxication  as  a  pardonable  fault.  What  I 
now  say  may  be  mortifying  to  the  pride  of 
men,  but  it  is  true.  We  seldom  rise  quite  up 
to  the  standard  of  morality  and  religion  which 
woman  holds  before  us.  We  never  rise  above 
it.  In  this  respect  she  is  the  lawgiver  and 
we  are  the  subjects.  The  only  hope  for  the 
moral  advancement  of  society,  is  to  keep 
woman  in  the  advance-guard.  Let  her  point 
the  way  and  lead  it,  and  the  right  progress  is 
secured. 

But  she  must  do  it  not  by  words  only,  but 
by  actions.  The  influence  must  come,  if  at 
all,  from  her  real  character.  Does  she  love 
virtue  and  goodness?  Does  she  respect  re- 
ligion and  seek  to  make  it  the  law  of  her 
3 


S4  AN    APPEAL. 

own  life  ?  Is  she  striving  to  conform  her 
heart  and  her  conduct  to  the  divine  law  ot 
Jesus  Christ?  Then  will  her  natural  influ- 
ence be  strong  and  availing  on  the  right  side. 
Otherwise,  whatever  her  occasional  words 
may  be,  and  whatever  degree  of  horror  she 
may  express  against  some  great  iniquity,  or 
against  some  poor  creature,  whose  first  steps  in 
folly  were  taken  under  her  direction,  but  who 
is  now  by  drunkenness  made  unfit  for  her  re- 
fined society,  her  inconsistency  will  plainly 
appear,  and  men  will  see  that  it  is  not  the 
iniquity  which  she  condemns,  so  much  as  its 
vulgarity  and  grossness. 

There  is  but  one  way  for  any  of  us  to  ex- 
ert a  true  influence,  and  that  is  by  being  true 
and  faithful  in  ourselves.  Especially  is  this 
so  wTith  woman,  because  hypocrisy  is  un- 
natural to  her,  and  her  real  feelings  almost 
sure  to  appear. 

Let  this,  therefore,  be  the  reflection  with 
which  my  present  lecture  concludes.  The 
moral  and  religious  interests  of  society  are 
in  the  hands  of  woman,  and  the  only  way 


AN  APPEAL  35 

by  which  she  can  conduct  men  right,  is  to 
be  right  herself.  For  "  favor  is  deceitful  and 
beauty  is  va^n,  but  a  woman  who  feareth 
the  Lord,  she  vVU  be  praised." 


LECTCJRE    II. 


HOME. 


"  She  looketh  well  to  the  ways  of  her  household,  and  eateth  not  th« 
bread  of  idleness."  —  Proy.  xxxi.  27. 


MY  subject  this  evening  leads  us  to  the 
inquiry,  What  is  woman's  appropriate  sphere 
of  action,  and  the  duties  which  chiefly  de- 
volve upon  her  ? 

Far  be  it  from  me,  however,  to  enter  upon 
those  difficult  arid  learned  discussions  con- 
cerning woman's  rights  and  woman's  mission, 
in  which  so  many  pens  and  tongues  have  been 
employed  in  modern  times.  These  are  sub- 
jects, I  think,  that  offer  little  room  for  differ- 
ence of  opinion,  except  when  misunderstood 
or  improperly  treated.  Narrow-minded  men 
and  visionary  women  assume  extreme  posi- 
tions, and  arrogance  on  one  side,  and  unrea- 


HOME.  37 

sonable  demands  on  the  other,  are  the  result. 
On  the  one  side  it  is  assumed,  with  a  self- 
sufficiency  which  would  be  provoking  if  it 
were  not  amusing,  that  the  sum  and  substance 
of  humanity  is  in  the  male  branch  of  it,  and 
that  the  female  branch  is  only  an  after- 
thought, a  needful  circumstance  in  the  case. 
On  the  other,  the  champion  of  woman  con- 
tends that  she  will  never  have  her  full  rights, 
until  she  is  educated  in  every  respect  as  man 
is,  and  shares  every  department  of  life  with 
him,  from  the  hall  of  legislation  to  the  nursery 
inclusive.  One  is  as  far  from  right  as  the 
other,  and  both  are  equally  unjust. 

We  do  not  wonder  at  the  complaints  of 
sensible  women  at  the  narrow  limits  assigned 
to  their  education.  If  they  express  the  desire 
to  know  something  more  than  school-books 
can  teach,  and  to  enter  upon  the  fair  domains 
of  literature  or  the  severer  studies  of  science, 
they  are  greeted  with  some  foolish  sneer,  or 
ridiculed  as  "  strong-minded  women " ;  as 
though  there  were  something  monstrous  in  a 
woman's  cultivating  her  mind  or  finding  de- 


30  HOME. 

light  in  knowledge.  When  the  sneer  comes, 
as  it  generally  does,  from  men  who  are  them- 
selves ignorant  and  superficial,  as  well  as 
ill-mannered,  it  is  pitiful,  not  less  than  un- 
generous. But  in  recent  times  woman  has 
sufficiently  vindicated  both  her  right  and 
ability  to  enter  into  competition,  wherever  she 
pleases,  in  the  department  of  prose  or  poetry, 
of  science  or  philanthropy,  with  the  wisest 
and  best-educated  men.  They  who  speak  the 
language  of  Miss  EDGEWORTH  and  JOANNA  BAI- 
LEY, of  MRS.  HEMANS  and  MRS.  SOMERVILLE, 
of  Miss  SEDGWICK  and  Miss  Dix,  should  never 
suffer  one  word  of  disrespect  to  pass  their  lips 
towards  woman.  Our  current  literature  is 
adorned  by  her  pen,  our  works  of  philanthropy 
are  dependent,  to  a  great  extent,  upon  her 
sympathy  and  direct  cooperation.  She  need, 
therefore,  have  nothing  to  fear  from  the  com- 
parison between  her  intellect  and  that  of  man  ; 
but  it  is  a  comparison  between  things  unlike, 
and  each  of  them  is  better  than  the  other,  in 
its  own  place.  Let  both  be  faithfully  turned 
to  the  performance  of  those  duties  which, 


HOME.  39 

under  the  providence  of  God,  devolve  upon 
them,  and  no  room  will  be  left  for  the  ques- 
tion, "Which  is  the  greater?" 

But  leaving  such  unprofitable  discussions, 
it  will  be  admitted  by  all  sensible  persons, 
of  either  sex,  that  woman's  best  sphere  of 
action  and  of  influence  is  found,  not  abroad, 
but  at  home ;  not  in  the  world  at  large,  but 
in  the  bosorn  of  her  own  family.  Her  own 
household  is  the  kingdom  in  which,  with  her 
mild  sceptre,  she  best  reigns.  s  She  may  in- 
deed go  out  beyond  it,  but  only  as  the  mis- 
sionary goes  out  from  his  own  land  to  seek  a 
field  of  labor  less  pleasant,  less  congenial  to 
his  taste.  It  constitutes  the  exception  to  the 
ordinary  routine  of  her  life,  and  in  general 
all  that  she  can  elsewhere  do  is  nothing,  com- 
pared with  her  home  influence  and  her  home 
labors. 

If  all  women  performed  their  part  in  that 
small  but  noble  sphere,  there  would  scarcely 
be  any  work  in  the  departments  of  morality 
and  religion  left  undone.  It  is  a  sphere  in 
which  every  woman  can  labor  with  success, 


40  HOME. 

and  with  the  majority  it  is  the  only  one  in 
which  success  and  happiness  can  be  at  the 
same  time  secured.  Whatever  may  be  wo- 
man's capacity  for  other  departments  of  life, 
her  taste,  her  sympathies,  her  affections,  lead 
her  to  seek  her  own  happiness  and  usefulness 
in  the  circle  of  her  friends  and  kindred,  under 
her  father's  or  husband's  roof,  rather  than  in 
the  larger  but  more  superficial  relations  of 
the  world.  And  we  may  further  add,  that, 
whatever  may  be  her  success  elsewhere,  and 
however  useful  she  may  become,  she  is  sel- 
dom an  object  worthy  of  admiration,  unless 
in  her  home  influence  she  is  also  blessed. 
The  woman  who  neglects  her  home,  who 
abstracts  therefrom  her  first  affections,  her 
dearest  interest,  her  most  earnest  efforts,  is 
sacrificing  more  than  she  can  gain,  except 
under  very  extraordinary  circumstances.  She 
will  probably  sacrifice  her  own  happiness  and 
that  of  all  whom  she  ought  most  to  love. 

Superficial  persons  may  think  that  this  is  a 
contracted  view  of  woman's  sphere  and  du- 
ties. To  confine  her  chiefly  to  the  four  walls 


HOME.  41 

of  a  house,  and  to  limit  her  influence  to  a 
family  of  five  or  six  persons,  is  like  burying 
her,  and  is  thought  to  be  great  social  in- 
justice. 

Why  may  she  not  have  the  whole  great 
sphere  of  the  world  to  act  in  ?  Why  should 
her  influence  be  more  limited  than  that  of 
man  ?  We  answer,  that  our  real  influence 
is  often  stronger,  for  being  limited  in  its  im- 
mediate action.  The  wider  diffusion  of  our 
efforts  lessens  their  strength,  and  sometimes 
prevents  their  efficacy.  The  greatest  heat, 
for  practical  purposes,  is  produced  by  an  in- 
strument which  concentrates  the  flame  upon 
a  single  point.  The  hardest  metals  then 
cannot  resist  its  power.  But  the  same  heat, 
diffused  a  very  little,  is  of  no  avail.  And  so  do 
we  often  see  that  the  concentrated  influence 
of  affection  is  strong  enough,  in  the  sacred 
precincts  of  the  family  relation,  to  melt  away 
the  dross  from  the  most  stubborn  heart,  and 
shape  the  heart  itself  after  the  heavenly  pat- 
tern, when  all  influences  out  of  doors,  and  all 
the  discipline  of  common  life,  have  had  no 
effect 


42  HOME. 

Again :  it  must  be  remembered  that  home 
influence  extends  beyond  home.  The  best 
way  to  purify  a  stream  is  to  cleanse  its  foun- 
tains, and  less  effort  will  accomplish  the  work 
if  begun  there.  The  great  current  of  society 
is  created  by  those  thousand  little  streams, 
which  are  pure  or  impure  according  to  the 
character  of  our  homes.  To  purify  them,  or 
to  keep  them  pure,  is  chiefly  woman's  work ; 
and  if  truly  done,  the  current  would  roll  on, 
pure  as  a  mountain  stream,  to  the  eternal 
ocean.  If  it  be  not  well  done,  all  the  How- 
ards and  Wilberforces  can  only  succeed  in  fil- 
tering, here  and  there,  a  little  of  the  corrupted 
water. 

So  true  is  this,  that  the  strongest  and  most 
enduring  influence  which  any  of  us  exert,  is 
that  which  begins  at  home,  and  goes  out  wi- 
dening and  deepening  into  the  world.  Wheth- 
er men  or  women,  the  day  of  judgment  will 
probably  show  this  to  be  true.  A  celebrated 
preacher  once  said,  that  the  most  successful 
sermon  he  ever  preached  was  to  an  audience 
of  one  person,  on  a  very  stormy  day.  That 


HOME.  43 

one  person  was  converted  and  became  the  in- 
strument of  doing  good  to  thousands.  The 
mother  has  an  audience  of  five  or  six,  to  whom 
her  life  preaches,  and  if  she  can  have  the  bless- 
ing of  God  to  convert  them  from  sin  to  holi- 
ness, from  the  world  to  God,  she  accomplishes 
a  work  which  God  only  can  measure.  I 
doubt  if  any  woman,  who  devotes  herself,  both 
mind  and  heart,  to  its  accomplishment,  would 
call  the  sphere  ignoble  or  the  work  insignifi- 
cant. It  seems  so  only  to  those  who  have  not 
heart  enough  to  appreciate  it  rightly,  or  mind 
enough  to  understand  its  greatness ;  and  they 
will  waste  themselves  in  peevish  complaint, 
because  they  have  not  a  wider  sphere  of  ac- 
tion, when  the  real  difficulty  is,  that  they  are 
incompetent  to  the  work  which  God  has  al- 
ready given  them  to  do.  I  know  many  who 
are  unfit  for  this  home  duty,  none  who  are  de- 
graded by  it.  The  reason  why  there  is  so 
much  left  for  philanthropists  to  do,  is  this,  — 
that  home  work  is  done  so  badly.  The  great 
primal  reform  is  needed  there,  and  will  never 
be  accomplished  until  woman  does  it.  The 


44  HOME. 

man  may  help  her  or  hinder;  but  however 
loudly  he  may  eall  himself  the  head  of  the 
family,  she  is  the  heart ;  and  it  is  the  heart 
which  creates  the  life-blood  and  diffuses  it 
through  the  whole  system. 

There  is  an  unworthy  estimate  of  home  and 
home-life,  which  values  it  only  for  its  physical 
comforts,  and  under  which  my  language  would 
be  extravagant.  Some  men  think  of  it  only 
as  a  more  convenient  and  pleasant  way  of  liv- 
ing than  is  found  in  hotels  or  eating-houses ; 
and  according  to  their  view,  woman  is  little 
more  than  a  cooking  and  mending  animal,  a 
kind  of  upper  servant,  sometimes  with  reduced 
wages,  whose  duty  is  to  provide  for  the  wants 
of  her  lord  and  master  and  take  good  care  of 
his  children.  Perhaps  we  should  say  that 
some  men  used  to  think  thus ;  for  such  opin- 
ions are  now  generally  discarded  or  acknowl- 
edged to  be  very  coarse.  Yet  they  are  not 
quite  out  of  date,  and  occasionally  you  will 
hear  the  vulgarism  of  the  great  Napoleon  ap- 
plauded, that  "  she  is  the  most  eminent  wo- 
man who  has  had  the  most  children,"  or  the 


HOME.  45 

equal  vulgarism  of  a  less  man,  that  the  most 
important  question  as  to  a  woman's  education 
is,  whether  she  can  prepare  a  good  dinner,  or 
mend  an  old  garment;  —  questions  which,  if 
made  the  most  important,  indicate  that  we 
put  the  same  estimate  upon  eating  with  the 
glutton,  and  upon  economy  with  the  miser. 

But  on  the  other  hand,  we  must  not  under- 
value the  humble  details  of  household  care, 
which  occupy  so  much  of  woman's  time,  the 
world  over. 

A  great  part  of  the  comfort  and  happiness, 
and  therefore  of  the  good  social  influence  of 
home,  depends  upon  the  manner  in  which 
these  trifling  details  are  attended  to.  A  slov- 
enly house,  or  a  badly  ordered  table,  or  ill- 
clothed  children,  make  an  uncomfortable  home, 
and  a  man  must  be  a  saint  to  resist  its  un- 
happy influence  on  his  character.  Just  as  it 
is  the  man's  duty  to  provide  a  home  for  his 
family,  and  to  supply  it  with  conveniences  ac- 
cording to  his  means,  iA,  is  woman's  duty  to 
adorn  it  with  the  excellent  graces  of  good 
taste,  and  either  by  her  own  industry  or  the 


46  HOME. 

well-directed  industry  of  those  who  serve  her, 
to  fill  it  with  the  healthful  influences  of  clean 
liness,  good  order,  and  neatness ;  so  that  every 
thing  may  minister  to  the  comfort  and  enjoy- 
ment of  those  she  loves.  From  these  duties 
nothing  can  excuse  her,  except  the  disability 
of  sickness.  For  their  omission,  no  excellen- 
ces in  other  things  can  compensate.  She  may 
not  neglect  them,  even  to  find  time  for  study 
or  reading,  in  the  improvement  of  her  mind ; 
not  even  for  works  of  philanthropy  or  in  reliev- 
ing the  poor;  much  less  for  idle  gossiping  or 
visits  of  etiquette,  or  the  perusal  of  the  last 
novel.  We  care  not  how  high  she  may  be  in 
her  social  standing,  nor  how  humble  her  lot ; 
if  she  has  a  home,  whether  it  be  a  palace  or  a 
single  room,  the  ordering  of  her  own  house- 
hold, with  all  its  trifling  occupations,  is  her 
first  duty  and  should  be  her  first  care.  With- 
out it,  her  home  influence,  and  therefore  her 
chief  influence,  is  lost. 

But  while  we  rate  such  humble  duties  at 
their  highest  value,  considered  as  means  to  a 
spiritual  end,  we  say  that  the  man  who  prize* 


HOME.  47 

woman  chiefly  because  she  is  capable  of  per- 
forming these  and  similar  tasks,  does  not  de- 
serve to  have  a  good  wife.  He  should  merely 
employ  a  housekeeper  and  pay  her  good  wa- 
ges. And  the  woman  whose  idea  of  duty 
stops  here,  whose  highest  ambition  is  to  keep 
house  well,  has  but  very  low  conceptions  of  her 
proper  dignity,  and  is  unworthy  to  be  the  wife 
of  a  sensible  man.  There  are  social,  moral, 
and  spiritual  uses,  proceeding  from^he  wise 
regulation  of  the  household,  which  bestow  dig- 
nity on  what  would  otherwise  be  trifling,  and 
give  value  to  things  which  would  otherwise 
serve  only  to  please  the  taste  or  gratify  the 
senses.  The  ple.asantness  and  comfort  of 
home  is  the  machinery  with  which  woman 
works,  if  she  well  understands  her  office,  for 
the  education  of  the  heart,  for  purifying  thq 
character,  of  each  member  of  her  family.  It 
is  thus  she  shuts  out  the  temptations  of  the 
world.  It  is  thus  that  she  teaches  her  hus- 
band and  her  children  to  depend  on  the  quiet 
enjoyments  of  the  fireside,  which  elevate  while 
they  refresh.  Her  home  is  her  Garden  of 


48  HOME. 

Eden,  or  she  has  none,  and  she  knows  that 
the  more  carefully  the  flowers  are  cultivated 
and  the  fruit  ripened,  not  only  the  r  lore  beau- 
tiful, but  the  more  healthful  both  for  mind  and 
body,  will  it  be.  She  thus  expresses  her  grat- 
itude to  God  from  whom  her  blessings  pro- 
ceed, and  her  affection  to  her  friends  and  kin- 
dred, for  whose  happiness  her  mind  is  contin- 
ually watchful,  and  on  whose  behalf  she  makes 
a  hundred  sacrifices,  so  unpretending  that  they 
are  often  unobserved,  —  but  not  the  sweetness 
of  temper  from  which  they  proceed,  while  she 
seeks  her  own  best  delight  in  the  enjoyment 
of  others.  With  a  spirit  like  this  no  occupa- 
tion is  trifling,  no  duty  insignificant.  The  ed- 
ucated woman  sometimes  complains  of  the 
petty  nature  of  her  cares  and  the  increasing 
perplexity  of  trivial  things ;  but  let  her  mind 
be  elevated,  let  her  have  a  noble  ultimate  de- 
sign, and  you  change  every  thing.  Give  her 
that  spirit  in  the  service  of  God,  by  which  we 
live  above  the  world  while  we  live  in  it,  and 
by  which  she  can  look  through  all  the  vexa- 
tions that  annoy  her,  to  the  hearts  of  those  for 


HOME.  ,  49 

whose  happiness  her  care  is  expended,  and 
you  impart  beauty  to  the  most  ordinary  rou- 
tine of  her  life  ;  to  the  humblest  domestic  du- 
ties which  poverty  or  the  unreasonable  exac- 
tions of  unreasonable  men  can  lay  upon  her. 
Under  such  circumstances  we  may  sometimes 
regard  her,  though  busied  in  what  seem  me- 
nial labors,  with  feelings  little  short  of  rev- 
erence. 

Go  into  the  poor  man's  house,  when  he  is  at 
his  hard  toil  in  the  world,  and  witness  the  pa- 
tient, uncomplaining  industry  of  his  wife,  who 
seems  to  forget  that  she  has  wants  of  her  own, 
in  her  busy  zeal  to  supply  the  wants  of  oth- 
ers, and  in  whose  eye  the  unbidden  tear  rises 
when,  at  his  return  home,  she  is  greeted  with 
no  word  of  praise  or  kindness;  for  which  she 
excuses  him  in  her  heart,  because  he  is  tired 
in  body  and  anxious  in  mind.  Or  look  upon 
the  widow  upon  whom  has  devolved  the  labor 
of  supporting  and  educating  her  children,  as 
she  sits  almost  unmoving  from  early  morn  far 
into  the  hours  of  night,  plying  that  little  in- 
strument, her  needle,  until  her  eyes  ache  and 
4 


50  HOME. 

her  fingers  are  stiff,  and  yet  her  heart  is  buoy- 
ant with  gratitude  to  God,  because  she  can 
find  work  to  do;  and  I  think  we  si  all  be  able 
to  understand  that  the  sphere  in  which  their 
souls  work  is  greater,  in  proportion  as  the  la- 
bor of  their  hands  seems  less. 

It  requires  a  great  heart  to  turn  small  things 
to  heavenly  uses.  The  cup  of  cold  water  given 
to  the  thirsty,  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  be- 
comes a  heavenly  work  and  obtains  the  ap- 
proval of  the  Heavenly  Father.  It  is  not  what 
we  do,  outwardly  considered,  but  the  spirit  in 
which  it  is  done,  that  constitutes  the  greatness 
or  littleness  of  our  work.  The  details  of  all 
our  lives  are  insignificant,  and  in  this  respect 
few  have  a  right  to  boast  over  the  rest.  The 
merchant,  the  farmer,  the  mechanic,  the  law- 
yer, spend  three  fourths  of  their  time  in  labors 
which  are  respectable  only  because  of  the  ob- 
ject in  view.  Men  sometimes  speak  contemp- 
tuously of  woman's  work,  forgetting  how  much 
their  happiness  depends  upon  its  faithful  dis- 
charge ;  and  women  are  too  apt  to  admit  that 
their  employments  are  unimportant,  compared 


HOME.  51 

with  those  of  men.  But,  for  myself,  as  a  care- 
ful observer  of  both,  I  cannot  perceive  why 
woman,  who  is  working  with  a  smile  that  be- 
stows a  charm  on  the  plainest  occupation,  in- 
geniously contriving  to  make  a  little  go  a  great 
way,  and  of  small  means  obtaining  great  com- 
fort, is  not  employed  in  work  quite  as  digni- 
fied as  trading  for  sugar  and  coffee,  or  the 
selling  of  cotton  and  woollen  goods,  or  the 
chaffering  about  freights  and  exchanges.  From 
the  way  in  which  men  sometimes  talk,  you 
would  suppose  that  dollars  and  cents  are  the 
only  respectable  thing  in  the  universe ;  that 
successful  speculation  is  the  only  true  hero- 
ism, and  that  the  hope  of  making  twenty  per 
cent,  profit  is  enough  to  bestow  dignity  upon 
meanness  itself.  But  careful  thought  will 
show  us,  that  our  comfort,  our  happiness,  our 
improvement,  our  general  well-being,  depend 
more  upon  what  is  called  woman's  work  than 
upon  man's.  They  depend,  not  so  much  on 
the  success  of  our  counting-rooms  and  work- 
shops, and  a  good  balance-sheet  at  the  end  of 
the  year,  as  upon  the  judicious  management 


52  HOME. 

and  skilful  ordering  of  domestic  life.  We  may 
be  happy  with  a  very  small  income,  if  the 
home  department  is  so  managed  that  every 
thing  is. used  to  the  best  advantage,  and  good 
taste  made  to  supply  the  place  of  luxuries ; 
and  there  will  still  be  something  left,  out  of 
what  would  otherwise  have  been  wasted,  for 

the   poor.     But  who  can   be   contented   in   a 

• 
house,  where  style  is  substituted  for  neatness, 

and  large  expenditure  brings  little  comfort,  and 
the  idleness  of  the  inmates  gives  abundant 
time  for  fretfulness?  We  can  educate  our 
children  to  be  useful  and  happy,  however  poor 
we  may  be ;  but  not  in  a  household  which 
witnesses  daily  contention  and  complaining, 
where  frivolous  amusement  is  made  to  take 
the  place  of  rational  enjoyment,  where  the 
influence  of  the  mother  fails  to  commend 
virtue  and  religion  to  her  sons  and  daughters. 
We  would  not  imply  that  every  thing  in  the 
home  depends  upon  the  female  members  of  it. 
Some  men  are  so  selfish  or  depraved,  so  ill- 
natured  and  petulant,  so  unreasonable  in  their 
expectations,  and  so  thankless  when  they  have 


HOME.  53 

no  room  to  be  dissatisfied,  that,  if  they  were 
to  find  angels  at  home,  they  would  contrive, 
by  their  own  presence,  to  prevent  them  from 
an  angel's  bliss.  But  we  speak  in  general 
terms  when  we  say,  that,  in  civilized  Christian 
communities,  the  praise  of  well-directed  fam- 
ilies and  the  blame  of  disorderly  ones  belong 
chiefly  to  the  woman.  Let  man  be  ever  so 
wise  in  his  own  conceit,  the  credit  chiefly  be- 
longs to  her;  let  her  be  ever  so  ingenious  in 
excuses  and  in  throwing  the  fault  from  herself 
upon  the  circumstances  by  which  she  is  sur- 
rounded, to  herself  principally  may  the  fault 
be  traced.  That  exceptions  exist,  we  know, 
but  what  we  have  now  said  is,  generally 
speaking,  true. 

We  desire  to  magnify,  although  we  cannot 
exaggerate,  the  importance  of  the  institution 
of  home.  The  more  so,  because  this  is  the 
best  means  of  elevating  woman  in  the  scale 
of  social  life,  to  the  point  which  belongs  to  her 
of  right,  but  has  not  yet,  in  any  part  of  the 
world,  been  fully  conceded.  In  this  country, 
every  thing  depends  upon  it.  It  is  the  nur- 


54  HOME. 

sery  of  republicar  simplicity  and  republican 
virtue.  It  is  the  wholesome  restraint  upon  our 
eagerness,  the  conservative  influence  which 
prevents  radicalism  from  excess ;  an  influence 
stronger  than  patriotism  and  from  which  the 
purest  patriotism  springs.  It  binds  us  to  the 
love  of  peace.  It  counteracts  the  angry  feel- 
ings of  political  contention  and  the  conflicting 
interests  of  different  parties.  Destroy  it,  or 
our  love  for  it ;  make  this  whole  nation  an 
out-of-door  people ;  teach  them  to  find  their 
amusement,  their  happiness,  away  from  home, 
.in  gardens,  in  cafes,  in  the  streets,  as  it  is  in 
France  and  Italy,  —  and  it  would  be  as  diffi- 
cult to  maintain  our  republic,  as  it  has  been  to 
establish  one  in  Paris  or  Rome.  No  one  who 
has  ever  visited  those  cities,  or  Naples,  or  Ven- 
ice, or  who  has  studied  the  habits  and  customs 
of  their  population,  can  fail  to  see  the  cause 
of  their  violent  commotions,  and  uneasy,  rest- 
less striving.  The  mass  of  the  people  are  with- 
out homes  and  home  influences.  They  live 
out  of  doors,  in  perpetual  excitement,  and  the 
only  idea  of  home  to  thousands  of  them  is 


HOME.  55 

a  place  to  sleep  ia  By  this  means,  woman 
is,  for  the  great  part,  shut  out  from  her  proper 
influence  on  society.  She  is  deprived  of  her 
rightful  working-place,  and  cannot  work  to 
good  advantage.  She  becomes  the  drudge,  or 
the  toy  and  plaything,  or  at  best  the  ornament 
of  society,  instead  of  being  the  messenger  of 
truth,  the  guardian  of  virtue,  the  angel  of 
mercy. 

The  foundation  of  our  free  institutions  is  in 
our  love,  as  a  people,  for  our  homes.  The 
strength  of  our  country  is  found,  not  in  the 
declaration  that  all  men  are  free  and  equal, 
but  in  the  quiet  influence  of  the  fireside,  the 
bonds  which  unite  together  the  family  circle. 
The  corner-stone  of  our  republic  is  the  hearth- 
stone. Therefore  let  men  see  that  it  is  care- 
fully laid;  let  woman's  hand  keep  it  clean 
and  bright ;  around  it  let  happy  faces  gather 
and  happy  hearts  beat  in  gratitude  to  God. 
From  the  corroding  cares  of  business,  from 
the  hard  toil  and  frequent  disappointments  of 
the  day,  men  retreat  to  the  bosom  of  their 
families,  and  there,  in  the  midst  of  that  sweet 


56  HOME. 

society  of  wife  and  children  and  friends,  re- 
ceive a  rich  reward  for  their  industry,  and  are 
reminded  that  their  best  interests  are  insepa- 
rable from  public  and  social  morality.  How 
different  would  it  be,  if,  instead  of  this,  he 
turned  to  the  resorts  of  public  pleasure,  to  the 
partisan  debates  of  political  clubs,  or  any 
other  organization  from  which  woman's  influ- 
ence is  excluded,  for  the  refreshment  of  his 
mind  and  body.  The  merry  talking  of  chil- 
dren's voices  is  a  more  eloquent  persuasive  to 
virtue  and  patriotism,  than  the  speeches  of 
6rators  or  demagogues.  The  feeling  that 
here,  in  one  little  spot,  his  best  enjoyments 
are  all  concentrated,  made  pure  through  being 
shared  with  female  purity ;  the  consciousness 
of  dependence,  through  the  strong  affections 
of  his  heart,  upon  those  who  for  protection 
and  support  depend  upon  him  ;  his  almost  un- 
conscious yielding  to  the  gentler  influence  of 
one  who  is  second  to  him,  only  because  her 
good  sense  yields  the  precedence  ;  —  all  this 
gives  a  wholesome  tendency  to  his  thoughts, 
and  is  like  the  healing  oil  poured  upon  the 
wounds  and  bruises  of  the  spirit. 


HOME.  57 


Nor  is  it  a  fancy  picture  which  we  have 
now  drawn.  In  ten  thousands  of  homes,  each 
day,  at  set  of  sun,  in  every  part  of  our  happy 
land,  are  these  strong  but  quiet  influences  at 
work.  In  every  one,  woman  is  proving  her- 
self a  true  philanthropist,  a  conservator  of 
public  order,  the  promoter  of  social  harmony. 
While  she  does  this  work  faithfully,  —  al- 
though Providence  may  open  a  wider  sphere 
of  action,  under  the  revolutions  of  modern 
society,  —  she  cannot  have  a  nobler  sphere, 
nor  one  wherein  she  can  be  more  useful  or 
more  happy. 

We  know  that  different  scenes  are  often  ex- 
hibited. Uniformly  our  best  blessings  may  be 
abused  to  become  the  worst  evils.  It  is  not 
every  roof-tree  under  which  we  may  sit,  with 
none  to  molest  or  make  us  afraid.  It  is  not 
every  woman  who  knows  how  to  make  home 
pleasant.  Something  more  is  requisite  than 
boarding-school  accomplishments  and  a  milk- 
and-water  character ;  something  more  than 
an  education  in  a  female  college,  with  the  de- 
gree of  Mistress  of  Arts.  There  are  houses 


58  .       .  HOME. 

enough,  in  which  woman  is  content  to  be  lit- 
tle better  than  a  doll  to  wear  finery  or  a  child 
to  be  amused ;  and  there  are  others,  in  which 
sufficient  proof  is  given  of  Solomon's  words, 
that  "  a  continual  dropping  in  a  very  rainy 
day  and  a  contentious  woman  are  alike." 

But  still,  after  all  exceptions  have  been 
made,  in  our  homes  is  our  chief  strength. 
There  is  our  best  happiness  as  a  people. 
There  the  strongest  influences  in  favor  of  vir- 
tue and  religion  are  at  work.  They  are  the 
school-houses,  in  comparison  with  which  all 
other  schools  and  colleges,  both  public  and 
private,  are  of  no  importance,  and  in  them  is 
woman's  place  and  woman's  work.  The  Em- 
peror of  the  French  said,  which  is  a  partial 
offset  to  his  absurd  saying  already  quoted,  that 
the  chief  necessity  in  reforming  the  system  of 
national  education  was  well-educated  mothers. 
With  equal  force  may  it  be  said  that  the  pros- 
perity of  our  land,  the  permanence  of  our  in- 
stitutions, can  be  secured  only  through  the  in- 
fluence, which  must  be  the  home  influence,  of 
sensible  and  virtuous  women.  Legislators  are 


HOME.  59 

good  in  their  place,  but  for  our  happiness  and 
virtue  as  a  people,  we  must  depend  upon  that 
legislation  which  is  spoken  in  the  gentle  voice, 
so  excellent  a  thing  in  woman  ;  urged  by  the 
pleadings  of  woman's  love,  enforced  by  the 
penalties  of  woman's  displeasure. 

If  the  views  now  presented  are  correct,  we 
do  not  degrade  woman  by  teaching  that 
home  is  her  rightful  place,  the  sphere  of  her 
chief  influence.  If  she  has  a  heart  large 
enough  and  a  mind  sufficiently  educated  to 
perform  her  duties  there,  looking  well  to  the 
ways  of  her  household  and  eating  not  the 
bread  of  idleness,  she  is  the  equal  of  any  man, 
however  great  or  good  or  wise  he  may  be. 
She  is  his  equal  in  position,  his  equal  in  prac^ 
tical  usefulness. 

But  we  have  reason  to  fear  that  the  views 
now  presented  are  not  sufficiently  regarded. 
Home  is  not  made  so  sacred  a  place  as  it 
ought  to  be.  Its  influence  is  not  exclusively 
given  to  the  cause  of  temperance  and  right- 
eousness. Even  where  its  general  influences 
are  good,  frequent  and  melancholy  exceptions 


60  HOME. 

are  made,  by  conforming  to  wrong  usages  and 
the  continuance  of  foolish  customs.  When 
the  festive  board  is  spread  and  all  the  re- 
finements of  woman's  skill  have  been  ex- 
hausted to  make  it  attractive,  its  crowning 
glory  is  found  in  the  wine  "which  moveth 
itself  aright,  but  at  last  stingeth  like  a  serpent 
and  biteth  like  an  adder."  Her  hand  becomes 
ingenious  to  fill  the  sparkling  bowl,  and  her 
encouragement  is  given  to  those  "  that  tarry 
long  at  the  wine,  who  rise  up  early  in  the 
morning  that  they  may  follow  strong  drink, 
that  continue  until  night  till  wine  inflame 
them."  I  would  not  go  beyond  the  limits  of 
propriety,  to  interfere  with  the  social  arrange- 
ments prevalent  among  us.  Every  person 
claims  the  right  of  directing  the  affairs  of  his 
own  family,  and  of  receiving  his  friends  ac- 
cording to  his  own  ideas  of  hospitality.  I  do 
not  dispute  the  right,  but  wish  it  were  exer- 
cised more  discreetly.  I  am  afraid  that  the 
strongest  influence  on  the  side  of  intemper- 
ance, and  the  hardest  to  overcome,  is  that  of 
the  social  circle,  the  hospitable  board.  In  our 


HOME.  6 1 

homes,  which  should  be  the  centre  of  every 
good  influence,  that  bad  influence  is  at  work. 
In  every  citadel  of  our  safety,  the  most  dan- 
gerous enemy  gains  free  admission.  It  is 
there  that  the  thoughtless  habit  which  ends  in 
dissipation  is  begun.  There  it  finds  encour- 
agement, under  all  the  appliances  of  luxury 
and  elegance,  until  it  shows  itself  in  the  un- 
steady step  and  reeling  brain.  I  have  known 
many  young  men  to  be  betrayed  into  con- 
firmed habits  of  intemperance,  by  their  fre- 
quent acceptance  of  this  well-intended  kind- 
ness. There  are  probably  those  who  will  have 
been,  this  week  and  the  next,  intoxicated  for 
the  first  time  in  their  lives,  because  it  is  so  dif- 
ficult and  awkward  to  refuse  the  reiterated  in- 
vitations of  woman's  hospitality.  Is  it  not  par- 
ticularly to  be  regretted,  that  Christmas  day, 
the  commemoration  of  the  Saviour's  birth, 
and  the  close  of  the  year,  which  should  call 
for  reflection  and  repentance,  and  the  begin- 
ning of  the  new  year,  which  ought  to  be  hal- 
lowed by  virtuous  resolutions,  become  to 
many  the  first  step  towards  ruin  ?  Can  we 


52  HOME. 

not  be  hospitable  in  a  less  dangerous  way  ? 
Can  we  not  make  our  friends  welcome  with- 
out exposing  them  to  danger?  Is  not  the 
pleasant  smile  and  the  grasp  of  a  friendly 
hand  and  the  feast  which  cheers  without  ine- 
briating, —  are  not  these  enough  ?  If  any  re- 
quire more,  let  them  seek  it  where  they  may 
sell  their  virtue  for  a  price.  Let  not  woman's 
hand  lead  the  way  to  temptation.  Let  not 
her  pleasant  home  lend  its  attractions  to  the 
sins  which  so  easily  beset  us. 

Is  there  a  mother  who  would  place  tempta- 
tion in  the  way  of  her  son  ?  Is  there  a  sis- 
ter who  would  make  virtue  difficult  to  her 
brother  ?  Is  there  a  maiden  who  would  place 
in  the  hand  of  him  whom  she  is  already  be- 
ginning to  love,  the  poison  which  may  find, 
and  perhaps  has  already  begun  to  find,  its  way 
to  his  heart  ?  Is  there  a  wife  who  would  sur- 
round her  husband  -with  snares,  so  skilfully 
covered  that  he  may  fall  into  them  almost  un- 
awares? You  may  have  the  utmost  confi- 
dence in  those  you  love,  as  we  all  have;  for 
love  casteth  out  fear:  but  is  it  worth  while 


HOME.  63 

to  try  experiments,  when  the  stake  at  issue 
is  so  tremendous?  We  may  be  very  sure 
that  they  are  in  no  danger ;  but  is  it  not  well 
to  remember  that  prayer,  "  Lead  us  not  into 
temptation,"  and  shall  woman  be  the  tempter  ? 
If  not  for  the  sake  of  those  whom  she  herself 
loves,  yet  for  the  sake  of  those  whom  others 
love,  let  her  refuse  to  become  the  minister  of 
evil. 

Those  who  are  tempted  may  not  be  her 
own  friends  and  kindred  ;  she  may  look  upon 
them  with  entire  indifference,  and  offer  the 
temptation  only  because  custom  requires  it : 
but  there  are  hearts  beating  sadly  for  those 
who  yield ;  there  are  wives  and  mothers  and 
sisters  who  will  have  reason  to  mourn  over 
the  day  when  the  temptation  was  offered,  and 
the  custom  which  permitted  it. 

Nor  is  it  only  upon  one  day  in  the  year, 
but  frequently,  almost  as  a  needful  part  of 
hospitable  entertainment,  the  subtle  and  al- 
most irresistible  attack  is  made  upon  the  vir- 
tue of  those  who  only  desire  an  excuse  for 
yielding.  Festive  assemblies  which  begin 


64 


HOME. 


with  all  the  splendor  that  wealth  can  purchase, 
and  at  which  the  beauty,  the  fashion,  and  the 
elegance  of  the  city  are  gathered,  sometimes 
end  with  scenes  in  the  private  parlor  which 
would  not  be  creditable  to  the  public  tavern. 
At  such  times  even  woman's  eye  sparkles 
with  an  unwonted  fire,  and  the  gayety  of  her 
merriment  is  something  more  than  the  natu- 
ral flow  of  her  own  spirits.  To  the  whole 
she  lends  her  countenance  ;  and  her  influence, 
as  the  presiding  genius  of  the  household,  is 
given  to  that  which  in  heart  she  despises  and 
hates. 

I  have  no  expectation  of  changing  general 
customs  by  my  feeble  voice.  I  know  how 
tyrannical  fashion  is,  and  that  there  are  many 
persons  who  would  commit  any  sin  or  incur 
any  danger  sooner  than  be  accounted  unfash- 
ionable. "  Custom  lies  upon  us  as  a  weight, 
heavy  as  frost,"  arid  not  one  in  a  hundred  has 
the  strength  or  courage  to  throw  it  off,  though 
conscience  may  command  and  the  safety  of 
those  whom  he  best  loves  require  it.  But  the 
improbability  of  success  is  no  reason  for  being 


HOME.  65 

silent.  They  who  attempt  nothing  are  quite 
sure  to  accomplish  nothing.  Social  usages, 
like  those  to  which  I  refer,  can  be  more  easily 
changed  than  we  at  first  suppose.  If  a  com- 
paratively small  number  of  those  who  are 
raised  by  their  wealth  and  hospitality  above 
the  accusation  of  meanness,  and  by  their 
standing  above  the  suspicion,  so  dreadful  to 
endure,  of  being  unfashionable,  —  if  a  few  of 
such  families  were  to  begin  the  change,  there 
would  be  many  to  follow,  and  twelve  months 
would  show  great  and  general  improvement. 
The  young  would  have  reason  to  bless  such  a 
change,  for  one  of  their  chief  dangers  would 
be  removed.  Still  more  would  they  have 
reason  to  bless  it,  who  have  once  yielded  to 
temptation  and  are  now  exerting  themselves 
to  resist.  Too  often  have  I  seen  those,  who 
have  held  firmly  to  their  resolution  through 
a  whole  year,  inadvertently  betrayed  into  the 
ruin  from  which  they  had  almost  escaped, 
by  the  multiplied  temptations  which  custom 
has  prescribed. 

And   am    I   wrong  in   thinking  that  it  is 
5 


66  HOME. 

woman's  influence  to  which  we  must  look  for 
the  change  required  ?  Do  I  overrate  it,  when 
I  say  that,  if  she  really  wishes  for  the  change, 
it  will  be  accomplished  ?  There  are  undoubt- 
edly some  men  so  arbitrary  and  self-willed, 
that  they  will  not  be  directed  even  by  the 
gentlest  hand  and  for  their  own  good.  But 
under  the  worst  of  circumstances  she  can 
moderate  the  evil  and  greatly  diminish  its  al- 
lurements. Generally  speaking,  in  well-regu- 
lated families,  it  is  so  far  under  her  control, 
that  what  she  heartily  wishes  she  can  easily 
accomplish. 

I  commend  it,  therefore,  to  your  serious, 
may  I  not  say  to  your  religious  attention.  It 
is  a  serious  subject,  upon  which  the  best  in- 
terests of  society  depend.  Do  not  treat  such 
things  as  conventionalities,  that  must  take 
their  own  course ;  for  you  have  an  influence 
to  exert,  a  duty  to  perform,  which  cannot  be 
neglected  without  sin.  It  is  a  duty  which 
rests  upon  you  as  mothers,  as  wives,  as  sis- 
ters, as  daughters,  as  friends  :  yes,  as  women. 
Not  one  of  you  can  escape  from  it.  If  it 


HOME.  67 

were  faithfully  performed,  if  the  influence 
were  heartily  exerted,  I  believe  that  the  whole 
great  question  of  temperance  would  be  tri- 
umphantly carried.  Men  are  not  brutal 
enough  to  love  intoxication,  unless  they  learn 
to  love  it  in  woman's  society.  Their  first  step 
she  can  easily  prevent ;  but  afterwards,  when 
she  begins  to  loathe  their  presence,  even  her 
voice  fails  to  call  them  back. 

Let  these  things  sink  into  our  hearts.  I 
have  spoken  of  them,  because  I  think  they 
need  to  be  spoken  of.  Their  neglect  will  be 
our  ruin.  The  necessity  of  a  change  is  al- 
ready felt,  and  before  many  years  are  past, 
many  of  these  usages,  now  fashionable,  will 
be  accounted,  not  only  dangerous,  but  vulgar. 
By  adopting  the  right  principle  as  our  guide, 
let  us  go  in  advance  of  fashion,  and  do 
what  we  can  to  discountenance  wrong  cus- 
toms. We  may  do  it  silently,  or  as  quietly 
as  you  please ;  but  let  it  be  done  decidedly, 
and  it  will  be  effectual.  At  least  it  will  be 
the  performance  of  our  own  duty,  and  a  proof 
that  we  fear  God  more  than  we  fear  man. 


68  HOME. 

It  will  make  our  homes  the  sanctuary  of 
virtue,  as  they  ought  to  be.  "  It  must  needs 
be  that  temptations  come  "  ;  but  to  that  as- 
sertion of  the  Saviour  another  is  added,  well 
calculated  to  startle  us  in  view  of  our  own 
accountability :  "  Woe  unto  them  through 
whom  the  temptation  cometh." 


LECTURE    III. 


DUTIES. 

"  Her  children  rise  up  and  call  her  blessed ;  her  husband  also,  and  ha 
praiseth  her."  — Proy.  xxxi.  28. 

THE  object  of  my  last  lecture  was  to  show 
that  the  best  interests  of  society  are,  to  a  great 
extent,  in  woman's  keeping.  In  the  depart- 
ments of  morality  and  religion,  of  refinement, 
of  good  taste,  of  philanthropy,  of  education, 
and  of  all  the  other  great  agencies  of  civiliza- 
tion, she  has  at  least  an  equal  share,  both  in 
the  work  to  be  done  and  the  end  to  be  accom- 
plished. If  men  would  frankly  acknowledge 
this,  it  would  elevate  her  more  highly  in  their 
estimation.  They  would  respect  her  more 
and  pay  more  deference  to  her  opinions ;  they 
would  take  more  pains  to  give  her  the  advan- 
tages of  education,  so  as  to  secure  the  proper 


70  DUTIES. 

use  of  that  influence  which,  either  for  good  or 
evil,  she  is  sure  to  possess.  We  fear  that  they 
are  now  more  willing  to  pay  the  tribute  of  ad- 
miration than  of  respect.  They  regard  her 
only  as  a  being  to  be  cherished  and  protected, 
and  whose  loveliness  is  never  so  great  as  when 
she  leans  upon  them  for  support.  They  take 
pains  to  please  her,  very  much  as  we  try  to 
please  children  ;  and  she  very  often  consents 
to  be  pleased  with  toys  and  playthings  and 
flattering  words  and  unmeaning  phrases,  with 
dress  and  equipage  and  jewelry  and  other  tri- 
fles lavished  upon  her  quite  as  much  through 
worldly  pride  as  from  sincere  affection.  It 
may  be  all  right  in  its  way,  nor  do  I  speak 
now  with  a  view  to  its  condemnation ;  but 
when  this  kind  of  adulation,  this  money-bought 
worship,  is  the  only  or  the  best  evidence  of  our 
respect,  we  are  in  fact  contributing  to  degrade 
her  whom,  for  our  own  amusement,  we  seem 
to  exalt,  and  are  treating  her  as  a  child  whom 
we  ought  to  treat  as  an  equal. 

It  would  be  better  if  the  adulation  were  less 
and   the   respect   greater.     She  can  dispense 


DUTIES.  71 

with  the  empty  compliments,  which  men  are 
skilful  to  use  in  proportion  to  the  shallowness 
of  their  own  brains,  in  consideration  of  receiv- 
ing a  more  silent  homage,  the  language  of  real 
esteem.  We  seldom  compliment  directly 
those  whom  we  respect,  and  whenever  we  do 
so,  it  is  with  delicacy  and  hesitation,  showing 
that  we  feel  ourselves  to  be  upon  dangerous 
ground.  The  language  of  compliment  is  gen- 
erally the  language  of  superiority.  We  flatter 
those  whom  we  think  beneath  us,  and  who 
will  therefore  be  pleased  by  our  notice  and 
approval.  Towards  those  who  are  above  us, 
more  deferential  language  and  fewer  words 
are  used.  Only  when  with  our  equals,  whom 
we  acknowledge  to  be  such,  do  we  offer  and 
receive  those  expressions  of  cordial  friendship 
and  sympathy,  which  are  more  pleasant  thai 
any  other  form  in  which  praise  can  come. 

In  the  compliments  which  men  pay  so  free- 
iy  to  the  gentler  sex,  I  am  afraid  that  they 
give  greater  evidence  of  their  own  self-conceit 
and  assumed  superiority  than  of  any  thing  else. 
I  think,  therefore,  that  if  men  would  learn  the 


72  DUTIES. 

real  truth  as  to  woman's  influence,  —  that  they 
themselves  are  moulded,  in  mind,  in  affec- 
tions, in  character,  by  woman's  hand, —  it 
would  do  them  good,  both  by  teaching  a  les- 
son of  modesty,  and  by  reminding  them  to  be 
just  before  they  talk  so  much  of  being  gener 
ous. 

On  the  other  hand,  it  is  equally  important 
to  woman  herself  to  understand  her  true  posi- 
tion. In  civilized  communities  she  is  actually 
exerting  an  influence  to  which  no  limit  can  be 
placed.  As  I  said  in  a  former  lecture,  she  is 
the  lawgiver  of  social  morality ;  she  fixes  the 
standard  of  right  and  wrong  in  social  inter- 
course, according  to  which  men  shape  their 
ideas,  and  to  which  they  conform  their  prac- 
tice. Individually  she  may  seem  very  weak, 
but  as  a  sex,  in  the  different  relations  of  life, 
she  is  all  but  omnipotent.  No  effort  to  ad- 
vance society  can  succeed*  which  does  not 
begin  with  her  and  receive  her  cooperation. 
Whether  it  be  temperance  or  charity,  religion 
or  education,  the  most  essential  thing  is  to  ex- 
cite her  interest  and  give  to  her  correct  ideas, 


DUTIES.  73 

arousing  her  to  a  sense  of  duty  and  responsi- 
bility. When  that  is  done,  the  battle  is  half 
gained,  and  what  is  more,  it  is  the  first  half, 
and  almost  sure  to  be  followed  by  complete 
triumph.  If  woman  felt  this,  it  would  inspire 
her  with  greater  self-respect ;  it  would  enable 
her  to  place  its  proper  value  on  the  flippant 
praise  of  which  she  is  now  sometimes  so  fond ; 
to  smile  at  the  words  of  flattery,  but  not  on 
him  who  uses  them.  She  would  feel  herself 
entitled  to  higher  respect  than  such  words  im- 
ply. She  would  feel  the  responsibility  which 
so  great  influence  imposes,  and  prepare  her- 
self, by  self-education  and  religious  self-disci- 
pline, for  the  duties  which  properly  devolve 
upon  her. 

Let  us  look,  then,  more  particularly  at  the 
different  relations  in  real  life  which  woman 
actually  holds,  and  the  important  position  in 
which  she  is  placed.  When  we  have  done 
this,  we  shall  be  prepared  to  ask  whether  her 
education,  as  now  generally  conducted,  is 
what  it  ought  to  be ;  and  I  think  that  the  an- 
swer to  this  question  will  be  more  evident  than 
satisfactory. 


74  DUTIES. 

First,  we  speak  of  that  sacred  relation  in 
which  our  love  towards  her  is  mingled  with 
veneration  ;  in  which,  while  she  is  living,  if  we 
are  wise,  and  certainly  after  she  is  dead,  she 
becomes  to  our  hearts  almost  as  the  saints  in 
heaven,  through  our  remembrance  of  her  pa- 
tient suffering,  her  unwearied  love,  her  gentle, 
sad,  yet  hopeful  rebukes ;  her  pleading  voice 
when  we  were  wrong  ;  her  sympathy  when  we 
were  tempted;  her  readiness  to  forgive  when 
we  committed  sin  ;  her  encouragements  when 
we  tried  to  do  right ;  her  tenderness  when  she 
wiped  away  our  tears ;  her  gladness  when  she 
shared  in  our  joys,  —  and  all  the  nameless  but 
unforgotten  tokens  of  a  MOTHER'S  love. 

That  is  the  gentlest,  the  sweetest  word 
which  falls  from  human  lips.  It  speaks  of  a 
human  relation,  but  mingles  with  religion  it- 
self. The  great  reason  why  the  worship  of  the 
mother  of  Christ  has  obtained  so  strong  pos- 
session of  a  large  part  of  the  Christian  world, 
is  this  :  that  the  word  itself  excites  a  yearning 
in  the  human  heart,  calling  up  its  dearest  as- 
sociations, exciting  its  tenderest  affections. 


DUTIES.  75 

and  giving  to  men  an  opportunity  of  express- 
ing, in  religious  homage,  the  feelings  of  grati- 
tude, penitence,  and  filial  love,  which  the  name 
of  mother  never  fails  to  excite.  How  much 
we  owe  to  her,  none  can  tell.  The  treasures 
of  love  which  she  has  expended  upon  us,  God 
only  knows  ;  for  she  herself  is  scarcely  con- 
scious how  rich  and  inexhaustible  they  are. 
As  she  holds  her  infant  smiling  in  her  lap,  her 
first-born,  a  new  existence  has  begun  to  her. 
She  watches  the  half-formed  smile,  and  her 
own  smile  answers  it.  She  catches  the  first 
ray  of  intelligence,  from  eyes  which  look  won- 
dering upon  this  strange  world  into  which  the 
heavenly  visitant  has  entered,  and  gaze  around 
uncertainly,  without  expression,  until  the  beam- 
ing light  of  the  mother's  face  is  caught,  and 
that  first  ray  of  conscious  intelligence  is  but 
the  reflection  of  the  mother's  love.  From  day 
to  day,  how  carefully  she  guards  him,  and  at 
night  his  gentlest  movement  arouses  her  to 
renewed  watchfulness.  His  playfulness  in 
health  is  her  chief  delight,  and  the  distant  ap- 
proach of  sickness  fills  her  with  dread.  To 


76  DUTIES. 

say  that  she  would  die  for  him  would  be  but 
little;  she  would  die  for  him  a  thousand  times, 
for  the  dearest  charm  in  her  own  life  is  in  the 
life  of  her  child. 

The  image  of  God's  providence  is  found  in 
the  mother's  love.  As  he  is  good  to  the  un- 
thankful and  the  evil,  so  is  her  love  never  es- 
tranged by  our  utmost  waywardness,  by  our 
worst  desert.  The  love  of  an  earthly  father 
may  sometimes  be  withdrawn,  and  the  stern- 
ness of  his  nature  may  drive  the  sinful  child 
from  his  presence,  with  words  of  anger  almost 
like  imprecation.  He  may  pronounce  a  curse 
which  drives  the  offender  to  despair.  But  the 
mother  cannot  curse ;  her  love  cannot  be  with- 
drawn. The  sorrow  of  her  child's  guilt  has 
pierced  her  heart,  only  to  make  it  more  ten- 
der; her  hand  seeks  to  draw  him  back,  even 
when  unwilling  to  return ;  her  prayers  are  for 
him  when  he  will  not  pray  for  himself;  and 
upon  her  bosom  he  finds  a  resting-place,  where 
he  may  again  lay  his  weary  head,  as  confi- 
dently as  when  he  reposed  it  there  in  the  up 
questioning  trust  of  infancy. 


DUTIES.  77 

Bui  if,  escaping  from  the  snares  of  sin  and 
strengthened  under  the  temptations  of  the 
world,  her  child  grows  up  in  the  strength  of 
virtue,  in  the  purity  of  religion  ;  if  she  sees 
her  sons  and  daughters  respected  and  useful 
and  happy,  by  their  affection  endeavoring  to 
return  their  mother's  love  and  shield  her  from 
the  harms  so  frequent  to  declining  age ;  — 
then,  who  can  tell  the  mother's  joy,  or  the  ear- 
nestness of  her  thanksgiving,  except  the  God 
before  whom  she  kneels  in  silent  gratitude  ? 
That  is  indeed  a  blessing  with  which  her  cup 
runneth  over.  Her  children  are  her  pride,  her 
joy,  the  jewels  that  circle  her  brow,  the  orna- 
ments more  becoming  to  her  age  than  any 
other;  and  her  face,  although  it  may  show  the 
lines  of  advancing  years,  retains  its  youthful- 
ness  of  expression  and  a  smile  more  lovely 
than  that  of  youth  itself,  when  the  names  of 
her  children  are  spoken  with  praise,  and-  the 
record  of  their  usefulness  brought  to  her  ears. 

O,  if  we  could  but  understand  the  depths 
of  a  mother's  love,  the  complete  disinterested- 
ness of  her  strong  affection,  the  days  of  our 


78  DUTIES. 

early  life  would  be  stained  with  fewer  sins 
and  our  memory  in  after  days  less  heavily 
burdened.  If  we  could  but  understand  how 
heartless  it  is,  for  the  sake  of  some  transient 
pleasure,  some  worthless  dissipation,  for  the 
indulgence  of  a  whim  or  the  gratification  of 
ungoverned  temper,  to  send  the  pang  of  grief 
to  that  loving  heart,  to  bring  the  shade  of  mor- 
tification over  that  hopeful  face,  we  should  be 
more  careful  in  our  pleasures,  more  reluctant 
to  do  wrong.  There  is  no  method  *by  which 
we  can  pay  the  debt  of  gratitude  to  her,  except 
by  lives  which  are  an  answer  to  her  prayers 
for  our  sake.  If  she  hears  of  our  disappoint- 
ments, she  is  sad;  our  sorrows  and  bereave- 
ments are  hers,  not  less  than  our  own ;  but 
these,  as  we  are  not  able  to  escape  from  them, 
she  is  ready  to  receive  as  the  discipline  of 
God's  providence,  for  her  good  and  for  ours. 
But  our  sins  lie  like  a  weight  upon  her  soul. 
To  our  departure  from  God  she  cannot  recon- 
cile herself.  That  is  a  grief  she  scarcely  knows 
how  to  bear,  and  under  which  her  gray  hairs 
are  brought  in  sorrow  to  the  grave.  Let  me 


DUTIES.  79 

appeal  to  you,  to  you  who  are  young,  for  her 
sake.  Let  your  thoughtlessness  be  checked, 
let  your  folly  be  stayed.  If  not  for  God's 
sake,  nor  for  Christ's  sake,  yet  for  your  moth- 
er's, sake,  hold  back  your  hand  from  sin ! 
Lay  not  up  for  yourselves  that  store  of  re- 
pentance which  comes  from  the  remembrance 
of  a  mother's  grief,  of  a  mother's  unanswered 
prayers ! 

•  While  I  speak,  we  feel  how  great  must  be 
the  influence  of  a  mother's  character  upon  us; 
that  if  she  is  a  faithful  woman,  God-fearing 
and  God-trusting,  we  become  almost  as  wax 
in  her  hands,  softened  by  the  warmth  of  her 
love,  moulded  by  her  gentle  touch,  until  we 
grow  to  the  years  of  mature  life,  and  find  our- 
selves, in  a  great  degree,  what  she  has  made 
us.  We  would  not  say  absolutely  that  it  de- 
pends upon  her  what  her  children  shall  be  in 
time  and  in  eternity,  for  that  would  be  attrib- 
uting to  human  strength  more  than  it  can 
properly  claim.  Our  best  skill  and  wisdom, 
even  the  influence  of  a  good  example,  some- 
times fail.  Children  who  are  educated  under 


80  DUTIES. 

the  most  judicious  system,  and  for  whom  no 
pains  are  spared,  sometimes  disappoint  all 
our  hopes ;  while  those  who  are  most  neglect- 
ed, and  under  the  worst  influences  of  bad  ex- 
ample in  their  parents  and  of  depravity  in  the 
world,  are  snatched  like  brands  from  the  burn- 
ing and  grow  up  in  piety  and  usefulness.  We 
must  not  therefore  feel  that  it  depends  upon 
us  alone.  We  are  not  sufficient  to  ourselves 
in  any  thing,  least  of  all  in  the  performance 
of  our  duty  as  parents,  and  if  there  is  any  one 
on  whom  the  command  to  pray  without  ceas- 
ing is  especially  enjoined,  it  is  the  Christian 
motlter,  when  her  children  are  around  her. 
She  cannot  feel  too  strongly,  in  her  family,  the 
necessity  of  God's  grace,  guiding  and  protect- 
ing those  she  loves. 

Moreover,  in  speaking  of  the  mother's  influ- 
ence over  her  children,  we  must  remember 
that  her  wisest  efforts  are  sometimes  defeated 
by  influences  which  she  cannot  control.  I 
have  known  instances  in  which  the  father  has 
taken  pains,  even  in  their  early  childhood,  to 
lead  them  in  the  paths  of  wickedness,  to  teach 


DUTIES.  81 

them  contempt  for  religion,  to  repeat  for  their 
learning  words  of.  blasphemy,  to  carry  them 
into  bad  company  and  to  place  them  at  six 
years  old  upon  the  counter  of  a  bar-room  to 
learn  the  first  lesson  of  drunkenness.  In  such 
a  case  shall  the  mother  be  blamed  for  the 
fruitlessness  of  her  efforts,  or  should  we  expect 
any  thing  but  the  ruin  of  her  child?  and  even 
in  cases  less  flagrant  than  this,  a  bad  temper 
and  tyrannical  disposition  will  bring  almost  as 
bad  results.  The  labor  of  directing  her  chil 
dren  and  governing  them  is  sometimes  left 
exclusively  to  the  mother,  without  any  as- 
sistance from  her  husband,  and  is  some- 
times made  almost  hopeless  by  his  angry  in- 
terference. Under  such  circumstances  human 
strength  shrinks  from  the  task,  and  nothing 
but  a  mother's  love  would  undertake  it.  But 
notwithstanding  all  this,  we  sometimes  see 
the  success  of  the  Christian  mother,  in  the 
midst  of  the  greatest  difficulties,  training  up 
her  sons  and  daughters  in  the  love  of  truth,  in 
the  practice  of  goodness  and  religion,  when 
the  father  has  thrown  the  Arhole  weight  of  his 
6 


82  DUTIES. 

precept  and  example  on  the  side  of  wicked 
ness  ;  and  I  have  felt,  at  such  times,  that  a 
mother's  influence,  if  wisely  and  prayerfully 
exerted,  is  second  only  to  that  of  God  himself. 
Let  her  not  despair.  Still  let  her  be  hopeful 
against  hope,  and  her  love,  through  the  bless- 
ing of  God,  will  ultimately  prevail. 

Seldom,  however,  is  her  work  so  discourag- 
ing. Generally  she  has  a  better  field  of  work- 
ing, in  which  a  moderate  degree  of  exertion, 
together  with  a  true  Christian  character  in  her- 
self, will  secure  an  answer  to  her  prayers^  In 
the  majority  of  families,  other  influences  are 
not  very  decided,  either  for  good  or  evil,  and 
become  one  or  the  other  according  to  that 
of  the  mother's  character.  The  atmosphere 
which  her  children  breathe  is  that  of  religion 
or  irreligion,  of  worldliness  or  of  piety,  at  her 
bidding.  They  may  advance  in  goodness  al- 
most by  a  natural  growth,  and  from  their 
early  lisping  of  the  Lord's  Prayer  till  their 
characters  are  confirmed  in  goodness,  her  hand 
leads  them  so  gently,  that  they  do  not  know 
how  much  they  owe  to  her,  until  they  them- 


DUTIES.  83 

selves  have  children  to  guide.  I  heard  it  said 
of  one  who  was  eminent  in  goodness,  that  it 
was  impossible  to  understand  how  he  could 
be  so  pure,  so  excellent,  until  you  had  seen 
and  known  his  mother;  but  that  in  her  face 
and  manners  you  would  at  once  read  the 
vvhole  history.  Perhaps  it  was  not  saying  too 
much.  It  is  difficult  to  estimate  how  large  a 
part  of  the  excellence  of  the  best  men  is  due 
to  a  mother's  counsel,  and  is  the  reflection  of 
a  mother's  character.  We  do  not  need  to  be 
taught  that  the  mother  of  Howard  was  a  good 
woman,  and  the  mother  of  Washington  is  re- 
vered in  history  almost  as  much  as  Washing- 
ton himself. 

On  the  other  hand,  there  must  be  another 
side  to  the  picture.  The  frivolous  and  heart- 
less woman,  who  makes  religion  secondary  to 
fashion,  who  pursues  pleasure  so  eagerly  as  to 
forget  her  duty,  who  neglects  her  children  and 
intrusts  their  moral  guidance  to  servants  or 
leaves  it  to  chance,  is  unworthy  of  the  place 
she  holds,  and  if  her  children  grow  up  well, 
it  is  a  blessing  she  does  not  deserve.  Nor  is 


84  DUTIES. 

such  a  result  at  all  probable.  Their  lives  be- 
gin wrong  and  under  wrong  influence,  and 
they  grow  up  in  that  worldliness  and  irre- 
ligion,  which  scarcely  seems  to  them  wrong, 
because  commended  by  their  mother's  ex- 
ample. It  is  a  rare  thing  for  the  son  of  an 
irreligious  woman  to  become  religious.  It  is 
a  rare  thing  for  the  daughter  of  one  whose 
chief  glory  is  in  the  ball-room,  and  to  whom 
the  pleasures  of  home  seem  tame  unless  its 
quiet  is  changed  to  revelry,  to  become  any 
thing  else  than  an  indifferent  copy  of  a  bad 
original. 

I  know  very  well  how  commonplace  are 
these  remarks.  If  they  were  not  common- 
place they  would  not  be  worth  making.  It  is 
their  universally  acknowledged  truth  that  gives 
them  importance.  It  is  a  demonstration  of 
what  we  wish  to  prove,  that  the  mother  is 
the  chief  instrument,  in  God's  hands,  for  the 
moral  and  religious  training  of  the  young. 
You  will  scarcely  accuse  me  of  exaggeration 
in  saying,  that,  if  this  influence  can  be  made 
right,  all  other  influences  will  come  right.  If 


DUTIES.  85 

tnis  influence  is  wrong,  no  other  can  counter- 
act it.  It  is  strictly  true,  that  all  our  efforts 
in  philanthropy  aim  to  accomplish  imperfectly 
what  the  mother  alone  can  accomplish  well. 

But  we  pass  to  another  relation  in  which 
woman  is  early  placed,  and  the  importance 
of  which  is  not  sufficiently  regarded  by  those 
who  hold  it.  No  relationship  is  more  pure 
than  that  between  the  SISTER  and  her  brother. 
It  confers  no  authority  and  implies  no  depen- 
dence, and  is  therefore  free  from  the  wayward- 
ness and  constraint  that  might  otherwise 
exist.  The  brother  regards  his  sister  with  a 
feeling  closely  akin  to  the  chivalric  protection 
of  woman  in  olden  times,  and  she  looks  to 
him  with  correspondent  affection  and  pride. 
Her  influence  on  him  is  silent,  seldom  acknowl- 
edged, but  very  great.  He  forms  his  estimate 
of  the  whole  sex  by  her  character,  and  woman 
is  to  him  an  object  of  respect  or  of  contempt, 
according  to  what  he  sees  of  his  sister's  mind 
and  heart.  |tFH  I  V'E  E  SI1 

She  cannot,  therefore,  be  too  careful  in 
teaching  him  to  respect  as  well  as  love  her 


86  DUTIES. 

She  cannot  confer  upon  him  a  greater  kind- 
ness, than  by  giving  him  an  exalted  idea  of 
womanhood.  She  cannot  inflict  a  greater 
injury,  than  by  leading  him  to  think  that  all 
women  are  trifling  and  heartless,  indolent  ex- 
cept in  the  pursuit  of  pleasure,  and  greedy  of 
admiration,  because  he  sees  that  such  is  the 
character  of  his  own  sister.  I  suspect  that  a 
good  deal  of  the  frivolous  and  contemptuous 
treatment  which  men  show  toward  the  other 
sex,  would  find  its  explanation  in  their  want 
of  respect  towards  those  whom  they  •  have 
known  in  the  home  of  their  childhood.  But 
on  the  other  hand,  the  young  man  who  has, 
in  his  mother  and  his  sister,  a  correct  ideal 
of  what  woman  ought  to  be,  learns  to  respect 
woman  for  some  higher  qualities  than  dress 
or  ornament,  and  knows  how  to  place  a  cor- 
rect estimate  on  those  whom  he  meets  in 
society.  He  will  make  a  wise  selection  of 
female  friends,  and  be  effectually  guarded 
against  those  deceptions,  those  false  appear- 
ances in  public,  under  which  many  an  un- 
fortunate man  has  made  engagements  for  life, 


DUTIES.  87 

which  have  proved  a  life-long  disappoint- 
ment. 

We  next  speak  of  woman  in  the  relation  of 
friend  and  BETROTHED.  There  is  no  period  in 
her  life  when  her  influence  for  good  or  evil  is 
more  marked  than  in  her  first  strong  friend- 
ship, and  especially  when  she  first  engages 
the  affections  of  a  lover ;  and  there  is  no 
other  in  which  her  influence  is  more  fre- 
quently disregarded  or  heartlessly  abused. 
The  man  who  loves,  and  thinks  himself  loved 
in  return,  is  easily  led  to  a  fulness  of  devo- 
tion, that  puts  him  almost  at  the  mercy  of 
her  to  whom  it  is  paid.  She  becomes  his 
idol  for  the  time ;  his  happiness  is  in  her 
power.  He  can  see  no  faults  which  are  not, 
by  the  magic  of  love,  changed  to  beauties. 
His  whole  nature  is  exalted  by  the  hope,  the 
certainty,  that  the  heart  of  one  so  pure  and 
good  is  given  to  him.  He  hesitates  to  believe 
it,  but  at  last  rests  happy  in  the  conviction. 

It  is  said  that  woman  loves  more  strongly 
than  man ;  but  he  loves  more  blindly.  She 
loves  him  notwithstanding  his  faults  ;  but 


88  DUTIES. 

his  love  prevents  him  from  seeing  that  she 
has  any.  Jf,  therefore,  after  he  has  thus  be- 
stowed his  confidence  and  his  best  affections, 
he  finds  himself  deceived,  and  that  she,  whom 
he  thought  so  lovely,  deserves  neither  respect 
nor  love  ;  or  if,  through  her  coquetry  and 
fickleness,  he  is  suddenly  repulsed,  by  averted 
looks  and  the  cold  answer  that  she  is  sorry 
her  feelings  have  been  so  much  misunder- 
stood,—  how  great  will  be  the  revulsion  in  his 
feelings,  and  how  serious  the  injury  done  to 
his  whole  character!  His  friends  may  truly 
tell  him  that  he  has  had  a  lucky  escape,  and 
he  may  believe  them  ;  but  his  affections  are 
not  the  less  blighted,  and  his  confidence  in 
woman  gone.  That  disappointment  in  his 
first  misplaced  confidence  will  perhaps  make 
him  a  worse  man  than  he  would  otherwise 
have  been,  and  serve  as  an  excuse  for  many 
wrongs  against  the  sex  by  which  he  has  been 
injured.  Such  is  the  influence  on  him, — 
while  perhaps  she,  who  has  wrought  so  great 
a  fraud  upon  his  credulity,  plumes  herself 
upon  the  conquest,  and  goes  deliberately  to 
work  to  make  another. 


DUTIES.  89 

The  world  is  very  one-sided  in  its  judg- 
ments. If  a  man  acts  thus  towards  a  woman, 
it  is  a  crying  sin  and  shame ;  but  if  the 
shadow  falls  on  the  other  side,  it  is  only  a 
thing  of  daily  occurrence,  and  some  stale  jest 
is  made  about  "  men's  not  dying  for  love." 
Perhaps  not;  and  pride  will  make  them  cover 
over  the  mortification  by  mirth  and  festivity, 
but  by  so  much  the  harder  is  the  inward  strug- 
gle. Men  are  not  devoid  of  strong  feeling, 
and,  although  they  may  not  prate  about  be- 
trayal and  a  broken  heart,  they  feel  no  in- 
sult so  deeply  as  that  of  which  I  now  speak. 
Women  should  be  more  careful  than  they  are. 
The  love  of  a  manly  heart  is  not  to  be  light- 
ly regarded  ;  it  should  never  be  trifled  with. 
She  who  takes  pains  to  fix  it  on  herself,  when 
she  is  unable  to  return  it,  and  then  makes 
it  her  amusement  or  scorn,  deserves  to  be 
called  by  some  worse  name  than  coquette,  if 
a  worse  name  can  be  found.  Her  own  sex 
should  rebuke  her,  and  from  men  she  should 
receive  that  which  is  to  her  the  only  severe 
punishment, —  neglect. 


90  DTTTIEb. 

We  next  speak  of  the  stronger  and  holier 
relation,  in  which  woman  becomes  the  WIFE. 
When  that  word  is  first  spoken,  her  position 
in  the  world  is  completely  changed.  She  has 
placed  her  happiness  in  the  keeping  of  an- 
other, and  the  whole  complexion  of  her  life 
for  good  or  evil  is  fixed,  according  to  the 
character  of  him  to  whom  she  has  surrendered 
her  liberty.  By  human  law  his  power  is  made 
so  great,  that  she  cannot  easily  escape  from 
it  even  when  harshly  exercised,  without  bring- 
ing reproach  upon  herself  and  perhaps  unde- 
served shame.  Still  more,  her  affections  hold 
her  so  closely  to  him,  that,  long  after  he  has 
deserved  her  contempt  or  hate,  she  continues 
to  follow  him  with  love.  She  may  see  his 
unworthiness,  but  she  does  not  the  less  love 
him.  He  may  be  cold,  severe,  tyrannical,  but 
a  few  words  of  tenderness  make  her  forget  it 
all,  and  his  slightest  assurances  of  love  are 
readily  believed.  She  may  wait  upon  him 
in  the  sickness  which  guilt  has  brought,  and 
witness  his  brutal  sleep,  and  look  with  sorrow 
upon  his  bloated  face,  and  yet  under  all  she 


DUTIES.  91 

sees  the  form  of  him  whom  she  first  loved ; 
the  words  of  his  first  endearment  still  are 
ringing  in  her  ears. 

It  is  very  wonderful  that  this  should  be  so, 
but  such  is  the  fact.  I  have  heard  many 
women  express  the  utmost  astonishment  at 
such  devotion  in  others,  and  say  that  nothing 
would  induce  them  to  submit  to  such  hard- 
ships, and  that  they  could  not  love  a  man 
under  such  circumstances ;  but  wherever  the 
trial  comes,  the  same  experience  is  apt  to  be 
repeated.  There  is  scarcely  any  limit  to  wo- 
man's devotedness,  where  she  has  once  devot- 
edly loved.  You  cannot  judge  her  by  any  rule 
of  reason,  of  expediency,  of  worldly  advan- 
tage, or  of  commonplace  affection.  Men  can- 
not understand  it,  and  perhaps  woman  herself 
cannot;  but  it  is  as  though  she  had  given  her- 
self away,  and  had  no  power  to  recall  the  gift. 

Such  is  the  practical  law  of  married  life,  to 
oer  who  has  once  loved.  It  should  teach  her 
to  be  very  careful  in  bestowing  her  love,  and 
still  more  careful  in  giving  her  hand,  as  the 
crowning  proof  of  love,  in  marriage.  The  risk 


92  DUTIES. 

which  she  runs  is  great  enough,  even  at  the 
best.  If  her  husband  is  a  man  of  good  princi- 
ple and  worthy  of  being  loved,  he  may  still 
have  faults  of  temper  and  peculiarities  of  taste, 
of  which  she  can  know  nothing  until  the  inti- 
mate relations  of  home  make  them  known  to 
her,  and  by  which  the  trials  of  married  life  be- 
come sufficiently  great.  But  let  there  be  good 
moral  and  religious  principle  to  begin  with, 
and  there  is  hope  for  the  future.  Without 
them,  her  influence  will  be  comparatively 
slight,  and  will  become  less  every  day;  but 
with  them  as  the  basis,  she  becomes  his  best 
teacher  and  surest  guide. 

Of  this,  which  is  her  proper  influence,  we 
would  say  a  few  words.  It  is  very  great  or 
very  little,  according  to  her  manner  of  using 
it.  If  exerted  chiefly  in  direct  advice,  fault- 
finding, and  complaining,  it  will  not  accom- 
plish much.  If  it  is  the  influence  of  gentle- 
ness, of  a  well-governed  temper,  of  cheerful- 
ness and  industry,  she  will  find  few  men  able 
to  resist  it,  unless  they  are  already  placed  by 
confirmed  bad  habits  quite  beyond  her  reach. 


DUTIES.  93 

Whoever  wishes  to  put  himself  in  such  cir- 
cumstances that  virtue  will  every  day  seem 
more  lovely  and  vice  more  hateful,  let  him 
choose  for  his  wife  a  virtuous,  sensible,  and 
.  religious  woman,  and  having  provided  for  her 
a  home  which  she  can  call  her  own,  not  a 
boarding-house,  but  a  home,  let  him  supply  it 
with  the  needful  comforts  and  conveniences, 
and  he  may  safely  commit  the  guidance  of  his 
life  to  her.  She  will  fill  his  house  with  an 
atmosphere  of  love  and  peace,  in  which  the 
roughness  of  his  temper  will  be  smoothed,  his 
happiness  secured,  and  his  whole  character 
elevated.  But  unless  she  is  amiable,  sensible, 
and  virtuous,  he  will  find  a  different  result. 
He  must  choose  her,  therefore,  not  for  her  styl- 
ish excellences,  but  for  the  substantial  quali- 
ties of  a  good  mind,  good  manners,  and  a 
good  temper,  exemplified  in  neatness,  indus- 
try, and  piety. 

The  wife's  influence,  so  far  as  good,  is 
measured  by  such  qualities.  Her  precept 
may  be  very  wise,  her  advice  very  sound,  her 
complaints  very  just,  and  a  wise  man  will 


94  DUTIES. 

never  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  them ;  but  her  exam- 
ple is  far  more  efficacious.  I  am  sometimes 
asked  by  the  wife,  "  How  shall  I  make  my 
husband  more  religious  ?  "  But  there  is  only 
one  answer.  Be  truly  religious  yourself;  let 
him  see  that  your  religion  is  making  you 
sweet-tempered  under  the  vexations  of  life 
and  faithful  under  its  trials,  and  if  you  have 
any  influence  over  him,  that  is  the  surest  way 
to  exert  it.  If  he  is  capable  of  being  saved, 
you  will  by  this  means  accomplish  it.  We 
believe  that  few  women  who  pursue  a  course 
of  this  kind  will  fail,  and  all  other  methods  of 
management  and  directing  may  be  laid  aside. 
The  very  name  of  management,  on  the  part 
of  a  wife  towards  her  husband,  excites  derision 
or  disgust,  and  the  least  indication  of  it  com- 
pletely destroys  her  influence. 

Finally,  we  speak  of  the  DAUGHTER.  Her 
influence  is  that  of  gentleness,  obedience,  and 
love.  Before  she  is  ten  years  old,  her  presence 
.n  the  family,  if  she  is  well-mannered  and  well- 
taught,  is  like  a  gleam  of  sunshine.  As  she 
trips  with  a  light  step  from  room  to  room,  a 


DUTIES.  95 

smile  on  each  face  follows  her.  She  grows 
up  in  innocence  and  truth.  She  divides  her 
mother's  cares,  although  herself  free  from  care. 
She  is  busied  with  household  duties  and  makes 
them  a  pleasant  recreation  by  the  cheerfulness 
and  good  taste  with  which  they  are  performed. 
She  makes  industrious  use  of  her  advantages, 
and  thus  repays  those  who  provide  them  for 
her.  She  is  wise  enough  to  defer  her  own 
wishes  to  those  of  her  parents,  and  to  return 
their  affection  by  that  artless  obedience  which 
seems  to  be  the  natural  expression  of  love. 
Such  is  the  daughter  as  she  ought  to  be.  It 
is  impossible  to  tell  the  pride  which  her  par- 
ents feel  in  her.  Her  father's  eye  rests  upon 
her  with  a  quiet  satisfaction  that  no  worldly 
success  can  impart.  She  is  the  very  joy  of  his 
heart,  the  sweetest  pleasure  of  his  life.  He 
may  love  his  sons  equally  well,  but  there  is  a 
shade  of  tenderness  towards  his  daughter,  by 
which  she  seems  nearer  to  him. 

Such  is  the  daughter  as  she  ought  to  be, 
and  such  the  relation  which  should  exist  be- 
tween her  and  her  parents.  Her  influence 


96  DUTIES. 

then  is  very  marked  in  the  family  circle.  Her 
presence  modifies  the  tone  of  conversation , 
her  hands  give  the  finishing  touch  to  every 
thing  in  the  household,  so  that  an  indefinable 
grace  and  tastefulness  pervade  all.  Her  ab- 
sence is  felt  by  all  as  an  evil,  and  no  one  is 
aware  how  useful  she  has  always  been,  and 
how  much  of  their  social  happiness  depended 
upon  her,  until  they  learn  it  by  this  means. 

But  if  I  were  to  speak  with  equal  truthful- 
ness of  the  daughter  as  she  sometimes  is,  and 
of  the  relation  which  she  holds  in  some  fami- 
lies to  the  different  members  of  the  household, 
you  would  think  that  I  was  dealing  in  satire, 
or  endeavoring  to  be  severe.  She  contrives, 
not  unfrequently,  to  become  as  absolutely  use- 
less as  it  is  possible  for  a  living  person  to  be ; 
a  hinderance  to  all  work,  a  preventive  of  all 
thought,  a  source  of  anxiety  to  her  father  and 
of  unceasing  trouble  to  her  mother.  She  has 
hands  and  fingers,  which  the  keys  of  the  piano 
will  testify  and  the  glitter  of  rings,  but  they 
seem  to  have  been  made  for  nothing  useful, 
and  shrink  like  a  sensitive  plant  from  any 


DUTIES.  97 

thing  that  can  be  called  work.  She  has  feet 
and  strength  to  use  them,  as  the  dance  will 
testify,  where  from  nine  o'clock  until  daylight 
she  undergoes  an  amount  of  physical  exertion 
quite  wonderful  to  behold ;  but  there  her  ener- 
gy is  exhausted,  and  it  is  a  weary  task  to  walk 
a  mile,  or  to  wait  on  herself,  or  to  do  any  thing 
else  worth  doing.  She  has  undoubtedly  tKe 
faculty  of  thought,  but  nothing  in  her  conver- 
sation proves  it.  The  introduction  of  a  serious 
subject  is  a  hint  for  her  to  retire,  and  to  ask 
her  opinion  upon  any  question  of  literature  or 
politics  or  social  morality,  is  to  her  only  a 
proof  of  your  dulness.  But  introduce  the  sub- 
ject of  dress  or  ornament  or  the  latest  fashion, 
and  the  volubility  of  tongue  will  amaze,  if  it 
does  not  delight  you.  An  excellent  prepara- 
tion this  for  the  serious  duties  of  life,  and  a 
happy  prospect  has  he  who  takes  such  an  one 
to  share  with  him  the  real  trials  of  the  world ! 
Still  worse,  it  is  sometimes  quite  shocking  to 
see  with  what  levity  these  young  ladies,  who 
would  themselves  be  shocked  if  you  call  them 
young  women,  will  incur  expenses  which  their 
7 


98  DUTIES. 

fathers  are  reluctant  to  pay,  and  spend  their 
time  in  the  most  frivolous  idleness,  while  their 
mothers  work  like  servants  in  the  kitchen  and 
the  nursery.  To  meet  them  on  the  street  in 
their  elegant  array  of  silks  and  finery,  for 
the  display  of  which  I  cannot  but  think  the 
street  a  most  unsuitable  place,  or  in  the  as- 
sembly-room, where  full  dress  is  measured  by 
its  costliness,  not  its  quantity,  you  would  not 
suspect  that  their  fathers  are  vexed  in  mind 
how  to  pay  for  the  extravagance.  Sometimes 
their  mothers,  not  to  be  thrown  into  the  shade, 
share  with  them  to  the  utmost  of  their  folly, 
and  mother  and  daughter  are  rivals  for  the 
same  flippant,  unmeaning  attentions  ;  and 
sometimes,  which  is  worse  for  the  one,  but 
better  for  the  other,  the  daughter's  extrava- 
gance is  atoned  for  by  the  mother's  self- 
Denial. 

I  do  not  mean  to  speak  lightly  or  harshly, 
but  I  think  there  is  need  of  speaking  plainly. 
Good  taste,  not  less  than  good  morals  and 
religion,  require  of  the  young  lady  to  become 
useful  as  well  as  ornamental.  It  is  surely  to 


DUTIES.  99 

be  much  regretted  that  fashion  and  dress  and 
admiration  of  silly  men  engross  so  much  of 
her  thoughts.  Let  her  learn  a  greater  degree 
of  self-respect.  Let  the  refinements  and  ele- 
gances of  life  continue  ;  let  her  presence  dif- 
fuse brightness  and  dispel  gloomy  thought ; 
but  there  is  no  need  of  her  being  idle  or  use- 
less. If  she  strives  to  be  as  beautiful  ajid 
attractive  as  an  angel,  she  ought  to  remember 
that  an  angel's  best  prerogative  is  to  serve 
God  faithfully,  to  be  ready  for  every  mission 
of  kindness,  to  engage  in  every  good  work* 


LECTURE    IV. 


EDUCATION. 

*MTo  know  wisdom  and  instruction ;  to  perceive  the  words  of  under- 
standing. —  Prov.  i.  2. 

MY  subject  to-night  is  Female  Education 
We  have  heretofore  spoken  of  the  different 
relations  in  which  woman  is  placed,  and  of 
the  influence  she  unavoidably  exerts.  As 
society  becomes  more  refined,  her  influence 
increases,  and  the  question  therefore  becomes 
more  important,  How  shall  her  education  be 
so  conducted  as  to  make  it  good  ?  In  other 
words,  How  shall  she  be  prepared  for  the 
proper  performance  of  the  real  duties  of  life  ? 
It  is  the  same  question  that  we  ask  concern- 
ing men,  and  the  importance  of  a  right  an- 
swer is  then  universally  acknowledged ;  but 
female  education  is  left  very  much  to  chance 


EDUCATION.  101 

influences,  and  its  direction  intrusted  to  those 
who  know  little  about  what  it  ought  to  be. 
The  remarks  which  I  shall  now  make  are  not, 
however,  intended  to  develop  a  system,  but 
rather  to  direct  your  thoughts  to  the  subject, 
as  one  which  has  been  too  much  neglected. 

The  education  of  the  young  should  have 
chiefly  two  objects  in  view :  First,  the  devel- 
opment of  the  individual  mind ;  and,  secondly, 
to  fit  each  individual  for  the  position  in  life 
which  will  probably  be  held.  These  are  the 
great  objects  of  education,  so  far  as  this  world 
alone  is  concerned.  They  belong  to  one  sex 
as  well  as  the  other,  and  in  the  education  of 
boys  and  young  men,  no  one  would  think  of 
neglecting  them  ;  but  in  the  education  of  girls 
they  are  almost  systematically  disregarded, 
and  from  their  neglect  arise  many  of  the 
mistakes  which  we  have  so  much  reason  to 
lament. 

In  the  first  place,  the  girl  or  young  lady 
should  be  educated  with  reference  to  her  own 
absolute  wants.  She  should  be  treated  as  a 
rational  being,  who  has  a  mind  to  think  with, 


102  EDUCATION. 

dutias  to  perform,  and  a  soul  to  save.  She 
should  be  taught  from  the  beginning  to  make 
the  best  of  her  own  faculties,  and  all  the 
means  of  intellectual  improvement  which  her 
parents  are  able  to  afford  should  be  given  to 
her.  These  will  be  great  or  little,  according 
to  her  station  in  society  and  the  degree  of 
wealth.  To  the  poor,  the  means  of  education 
must  be  limited,  but  the  rich  may  make  them 
as  great  as  they  please.  Even  the  compara- 
tively poor  may  make  them  much  greater 
than  they  do,  if  brought  to  feel  that  the  ob- 
ject is  worth  self-denial  in  its  attainment. 

But  the  limit  of  education  should  be  fixed, 
not  by  some  arbitrary  idea  of  how  much  a 
woman  ought  to  know,  or  how  much  it  is 
safe  to  teach  without  spoiling  her  as  a  good 
housekeeper  or  a  faithful  drudge,  —  the  prin- 
ciple on  which  the  education  or  no  education 
of  the  slave  is  conducted,  —  but  the  limits 
of  female  education  should  be  fixed,  as  of 
the  man's,  by  the  capacity  of  the  individual 
scholar  and  the  external  means  within  reach. 

We  say  to  the  boy  or  to  the  young  man, 


EDUCATION.  103 

"  Mako  the  best  of  yourself;  there  is  no  dan- 
ger of  your  learning  too  much;  read,  study, 
think,  for  the  sake  of  gaining  maturity  of  judg- 
ment, and  a  well-disciplined  mind.  Lose  no 
opportunity  of  attaining  knowledge,  whether 
it  promises  to  be  of  immediate  use  or  not.  It 
is  good  for  its  own  sake.  Its  acquisition  will 
strengthen  the  mind,  as  exercise  strengthens 
the  body."  We  advise  him  to  educate  him- 
self by  all  the  means  within  his  reach,  not  only 
nor  chiefly  that  he  may  become  a  more  suc- 
cessful merchant  or  a  more  eminent  lawyer, 
but  because  the  education  is  in  itself  good. 
It  makes  a  man  of  him.  It  takes  him  out 
from  the  littleness  of  humanity,  and  interests 
him  in  the  great  things  of  life,  virtue,  truth, 
honor,  beauty,  and  religion.  It  makes  him  in- 
dependent, to  a  great  degree,  of  external  cir- 
cumstances, and  frees  him  from  the  necessity 
of  riches,  which  common  men  feel,  by  giving 
him  inward  and  inexhaustible  wealth.  The 
educated  man  can  say,  "  My  thoughts  to  me 
my  kingdom  are,"  and  whether  rich  or  poor, 
whether  mechanic  or  merchant  or  professional 


V 

104  EDUCATION. 

scholar,  whether  he  is  a  married  or  a  lonely 
man,  will  prize  his  education  as  one  of  the 
best  temporal  gifts  which  Providence  has  be- 
stowed. 

But  why  is  not  this  as  true  of  woman  as 
of  man  ?  If  she  is  a  rational  being,  why 
should  we  not  treat  her  as  such  ?  Why 
should  she  not  be  made  to  feel  from  the  days 
of  girlhood,  that  it  is  her  duty  to  make  the 
best  of  herself,  in  the  development  of  her  whole 
mind,  in  the  proper  use  of  all  her  faculties? 
Why  should  she  not  be  taught  that  knowledge 
is  good,  whether  immediately  useful  or  not, 
that  the  object  of  her  studying  is  not  merely 
to  learn  something  which  she  can  put  to  prac- 
tical use  when  she  becomes  a  wife  and  moth- 
er, but  self-improvement  for  the  improvement's 
sake?  Why  should  she  feel,  as  she  often  does, 
that  the  whole  uses  of  education  are  attained, 
if  she  appears  well  in  society  and  avoids  those 
mistakes  which  betray  ignorance  ?  Why 
should  manners  be  regarded  as  almost  every 
thing,  and  the  substance  of  a  cultivated  intel 
lectual  nature  almost  nothing? 


EDTJC1TION.  105 

I  am  afraid  that  comparatively  few  young 
ladies  are  accustomed  to  think  of  education  in 
this  way.  They  think  of  it  as  a  schooling  to 
be  continued  until  the  age  of  sixteen  or  seven- 
teen, the  object  of  which  is  to  make  them  ap- 
pear as  well  as  others  in  their  own  circle,  and 
therefore  to  give  them  an  equal  chance  of  suc- 
cess. They  seldom  think  of  it  as  the  begin- 
ning of  self-culture,  the  end  of  which  is  ma- 
turity of  character  and  the  full  excellence  of 
womanhood.  We  say  to  the  boy,  'Make  a 
man  of  yourself;  be  diligent,  that  when  you 
come  to  manly  years  you  may  have  a  manly 
character.  Why  not  say  to  the  girl,  Make 
a  woman  of  yourself,  that  when  you  come  to 
womanly  years  you  may  have  a  womanly 
character  ?  But  instead  of  it  we  say,  Learn  to 
be  ladylike ;  remember  that  when  you  become 
a  lady  you  will  be  quite  ashamed  to  speak  bad 
grammar  or  to  enter  a  room  in  a  stiff  or  awk- 
ward way.  This  is  a  much  lower  standard 
and  reduces  every  thing  to  outside  appear- 
ances. It  makes  the  cultivation  of  the  mind 
wait  on  the  prettiness  of  the  body.  It  makes 


106  EDUCATION. 

a  woman's  education  less  important  than  her 
manners,  and  the  dancing-master  more  indis- 
pensable than  any  other  teacher.  It  degrades 
womanhood.  It  prevents  the  girl  from  seeing 
the  real  excellence  of  knowledge,  the  essential 
value  of  intellectual  improvement.  The  young 
lady  is  not  taught  to  respect  herself  for  what 
she  is,  but  for  what  she  appears  to  be.  She 
does  not  labor  to  improve  herself  because  she 
has  a  mind  that  needs  improvement,  and  fac- 
ulties the  exercise  of  which  is  the  truest  hap- 
piness, but  her  labor  ceases  when  a  certain  de- 
gree of  indispensable  knowledge  and  outward 
polish  is  attained.  The  accomplishments 
which  belong  to  the  fingers  and  the  feet  are 
much  more  highly  prized  than  those  of  the 
mind  and  character.  Some  show  of  study  or 
some  general  plan  of  reading  is  kept  up,  for 
six  or  twelve  months  after  leaving  school,  or 
until  she  stands  at  the  marriage  altar,  and 
then,  the  great  purposes  of  education  having 
been  secured,  the  further  improvement  of  the 
mind  is  accounted  unnecessary. 

I  do  not  mean  to  be  guilty  of  sarcasm.     It 


EDUCATION.  107 

is  an  easy  kind  of  wit,  which  any  body  with 
an  observing  eye  and  a  bad  temper  can  attain. 
I  should  be  sorry,  therefore,  if  in  my  remarks 
I  seem  sarcastic,  where  I  only  intend  to  speak 
the  truth  ;  but  it  seems  scarcely  too  much  to 
say,  and  female  writers  themselves  make  the 
.complaint  more  strongly  than  I  would  venture 
to  do,  that  female  education  is  often  conduct- 
ed, both  in  school  and  afterwards,  as  if  the 
chief  end  of  woman  were  to  be  married,  and 
the  chief  object  of  education  to  secure  a  good 
establishment.  Whatever  will  conduce  to 
that  end,  by  rendering  her  attractive,  by  mak- 
ing her  the  object  of  admiration,  by  enabling 
her  to  appear  well  in  society  and  to  take  cap- 
tive the  hearts  of  men,  —  all  of  this  is  valued. 
No  part  of  it  is  omitted.  For  its  attainment 
no  expense  is  spared.  But  the  education 
needed  to  make  her  think,  to  make  a  woman 
of  her,  to  teach  her  self-respect  and  self-reli- 
ance, is  comparatively  neglected. 

This  is  the  great  error  by  which,  more  than 
by  any  thing  else,  woman  is  prevented  from 
taking  her  right  position  in  society,  and  from 


108  EDUCATION. 

exerting  her  full  influence.  She  is  not  edu- 
cated for  her  own  individual  sake,  but  with 
reference  to  a  certain  effect  to  be  produced  on 
those  around  her,  and  a  certain  result  to  be 
attained.  She  is  not  taught  to  enjoy  study ; 
she  is  not  supplied  with  those  intellectual  re- 
sources which  would  make  her  independent 
of  praise  or  blame.  Her  ideas  of  usefulness 
and  happiness  are  associated  with  her  estab- 
lishment in  life  as  a  married  woman,  and  she 
does  not  prepare  herself  by  self-education  and 
self-discipline  to  be  useful  and  happy,  through 
the  force  of  her  own  character  and  a  cultivated 
mind,  in  whatever  position  she  may  be  placed. 
I  admit  that  "  marriage  is  honorable,"  and 
that  both  man  and  woman  should  look  for- 
ward to  it  with  hope  and  joyful  expectation. 
It  is  unquestionably  needful  to  our  highest 
usefulness  and  best  happiness.  Without  it, 
our  nature  is  but  half  developed,  and  we.  are 
in  great  danger  of  becoming  selfish  and  nar- 
row-minded. It  is  the  appointment  of  Provi- 
dence, the  gift  of  Divine  love,  and  if  evaded  or 
refused,  no  complete  compensation  for  the  loss 


EnTCATION.  109 

can  be  found.  Under  ordinary  circumstances, 
therefore,  it  is  a  serious  misfortune  to  either 
sex  to  remain  in  what  is  called  single,  in  op- 
position, I  suppose,  to  the  twofold  blessedness. 
But  surely  this  is  not  true  of  woman  alone  ; 
it  is  equally  true  of  man.  If  any  thing,  it 
is  more  true ;  for  man's  nature,  being  more 
rough  and  harsh,  stands  in  greater  need  of  the 
softening,  purifying  influences  of  the  family 
circle. 

How  often  do  we  see  that  among  the  gen- 
tlest and  loveliest  of  their  sex,  everywhere  wel- 
come, everywhere  honored,  are  those  who 
have  accounted  the  prize  of  matrimony  not 
great  enough  for  their  acceptance  !  They  are 
often  the  most  important  members  of  the 
family,  the  consolers  of  grief,  the  unwearied 
attendants  in  the  chamber  of  sickness,  the 
visitors  of  the  poor,  finding  in  the  exercise  of 
all  beautiful  charities  and  kindly  affections, 
if  not  the  full  happiness  of  which  they  are 
capable,  yet  enough  to  make  their  lives  a 
continual  expression  of  gratitude  to  God,  and 
themselves  a  blessing  to  all  they  love.  We 


110  EDUCATION. 

may  know  many  such,  and  in  the  excellent 
disinterestedness  of  their  lives,  they  are  num- 
bered among  the  saints  of  the  earth.  But 
how  seldom  do  we  find  a.  parallel  instance 
among  those  of  my  own  sex  !  Notwithstand- 
ing all  the  flippant  jests  upon  the  subject,  my 
observation  leads  me  to  think  that  a  single 
life  is  much  more  fatal  to  man's  happiness 
and  usefulness  than  to  woman's. 

But  how  absurd  it  would  be  if,  in  his  edu- 
cation, every  thing  were  made  to  turn  upon 
such  considerations!  The  best  way  to  edu- 
cate him  to  become  a  good  husband  and  father 
is  to  make  him  a  good  man.  Give  him  the 
best  education  in  your  power  with  that  view, 
and  you  do  that  which  is  best  for  him  under 
all  circumstances.  So  in  woman's  education, 
it  should  be  conducted  primarily  with  a  view 
to  make  her  a  thoughtful,  intelligent,  well- 
educated  person.  However  much  her  hap- 
piness may  be  increased  by^an  establishment 
in  life,  she  should  have  resources  of  mind  and 
character,  such  as  to  secure  her  happiness  at 
all  events. 


EDUCATION.  Ill 

Secondly,  female  education  should  be  con- 
ducted with  reference  to  the  duties  which 
woman  is  called  upon  to  fulfil  in  the  differ- 
ent relations  of  life.  Not,  as  I  have  already 
fiaid,  merely  with  a  view  to  her  entering  on 
such  relations,  which  is  the  education  of  out- 
side show  and  accomplishments ;  but  with 
reference  to  the  duties  which  devolve  upon 
her  as  a  married  woman,  if  circumstances 
lead  her  to  become  such.  But  this  view  of 
the  subject  compels  me  in  part  to  repeat  what 
I  have  already  said  ;  for  how  would  you  pre- 
pare one  to  become  a  good  wife  and  a  judi- 
cious mother,  except  by  making  her  an  intel- 
ligent and  sensible  woman  ?  Other  things 
being  equal,  the  more  highly  educated  a  per- 
son is,  in  whatever  situation  placed,  the  greater 
his  influence,  and  more  worthy  he  will  be  of 
respect.  This  is  true  of  one  sex  as  well  as  of 
the  other.  The  time  has  passed  when  it  was 
taken  for  granted  that  the  more  contracted  a 
woman's  education,  the  more  likely  she  is  to 
become  a  good  wife  and  mother.  Those 
were  the  days  when  wife  and  servant  meant 


1 12  EDUCATION. 

nearly  the  same  thing.  Civilization  has  ad 
vanced  too  far,  education  is  too  generally  dif- 
fused, for  such  ideas  to  prevail.  It  is  ex- 
pected, nay,  required,  that  every  woman  in 
good  society  shall  be  well  informed,  well  edu- 
cated. Without  this,  her  general  influence  in 
society  is  small,  and  even  her  moral  influence 
in  the  domestic  circle  greatly  lessened.  For  a 
certain  degree  of  intellectual  development  is 
necessary  to  command  respect,  and  she  whose 
mind  is  narrowed  by  prejudice,  or  who  is  ig- 
norant upon  subjects  of  ordinary  interest  in 
science  and  literature,  labors  under  great  dis- 
adv&ntages  in  all  the  relations  of  life.  She 
need  not  be  afraid  of  knowing  too  much. 
The  New  England  idea  on  the  subject  is 
correct,  that  every  girl  should  be  educated 
well  enough  to  become  a  teacher  in  case  of 
necessity  ;  that  with  this  view  she  should  be 
taught  thoroughly  so  far  as  she  goes,  'and 
should  go  as  far  as  time  and  opportunity  allow. 
Such  an  education  will  unfit  her  to  be  the 
wife  of  a  silly  or  ignorant  man,  unless  to  be- 
come his  teacher ;  but  fortunately  it  would 
take  awav  the  desire  as  well  as  the  fitness. 


EDUCATION.  113 

When  thus  taught,  she  is  prepared,  if  she 
becomes  a  wife,  to  be  the  head  of  her  house- 
hold ;  she  is  the  companion  and  equal  of  her 
husband,  capable  of  being  his  confidential 
adviser  and  assistant.  He  prizes  her  more 
highly  in  the  performance  of  her  domestic  du- 
ties, because  he  respects  her  understanding. 
He  is  glad  to  receive  counsel  from  her,  be- 
cause he  sees  that  she  has  laid  up  materials 
for  thought,  and  that  she  knows  how  to  use 
them.  It  is  a  very  good  thing  for  a  man  to 
have  a  wife  whom  he  can  thus  regard,  and  if 
1  were  preaching  to  young  men,  I  would  ad- 
vise them  to  take  no  ^ther.  No  one  can  tell 
how  much  he  gains  from  daily  intercourse 
with  a  well-educated  and  sensible  woman, 
who  at  the  same  time  performs  her  own  du- 
ties well,  so  as  to  make  his  home  pleasant, 
and  is  able  to  share  his  thoughts,  to  enter 
into  his  cares,  to  suggest  good  counsel,  and 
to  direct  his  mind  not  less  than  engage  his 
heart.  That  is  a  helpmeex  indeed  ;  buv  to 
become  such,  a  woman  must  not  be  afrai^  ^ 
knowledge  nor  unwilling  to  think. 
8 


Ill       .  EDUCATION. 

A  good  education  is  equally  important  to 
the  mother.  As  the  minds  of  her  children 
are  developed,  their  "  obstinate  questionings 
of  sense  and  outward  things  "  are  enough  to 
puzzle  even  the  wisest;  but  if  she  is  able  to 
lead  them  aright  in  their  first  seeking  after 
truth  and  knowledge,  to 'give  them  a  taste 
for  reading  and  direct  them  in  their  early 
choice  of  books,  she  will  accomplish,  almost 
without  being  aware  of  it,  the  most  impor- 
tant part  of  their  education.  I  have  often  re- 
marked the  difficulty,  even  in  the  best  schools, 
of  giving  a  good  education  to  children,  es- 
pecially to  girls,  wrhose  mother  is  illiterate  or 
ignorant.  You  may  provide  for  them  the 
most  accomplished  teachers,  who  will  carry 
them  through  books  enough  to  entitle  therr 
to  a  degree  in  college,  and  yet  the  illiterate 
home-atmosphere,  the  uneducated  mother- 
tongue,  will  half  neutralize  your  efforts.  Par- 
ticularly is  this  true  with  regard  to  the  little 
refinements  of  education,  and  the  right  cul- 
tivation of  taste,  which  go  so  far  towards 
characterizing  the  lady  and  the  gentleman  in 


EDUCATION.  115 

society .  What  is  learned  from  the  mother  is 
thoroughly  learned,  and  it  requires  a  great 
deal  of  drilling  at  school  to  undo  her  mistakes 
and  remedy  her  false  teaching.  But  if  she  is 
able  to  help  the  teacher,  the  school  work  will 
go  on  profitably,  or,  if  circumstances  require, 
may  be  dispensed  withi 

We  do  not  say  that  the  education  of  chil- 
dren should  be  intrusted  to  the  mother  as  her 
duty,  for  she  seldom  has  either  time  or  strength 
for  its  performance;  but  it  is  certainly  desira- 
ble for  her  to  be  competent  to  the  task,  as  to 
her  own  education.  She  will  then  aid  the 
teacher  and  supply  the  unavoidable  deficien- 
cies of  school  education,  while,  at  the  same 
time,  she  brings  her  children  more  immedi- 
ately under  her  own  influence,  and  teaches 
them  to  respect  her  more.  A  new  relation 
to  them  is  established,  and  her  duties  as  a 
mother  receive  new  dignity.  Even  the  drudg- 
eries of  household  care,  from  which  but  few 
ladies  can  escape,  become  less  irksome,  be- 
cause of  the  spiritual  and  intellectual  influ- 
ence which  she  is  consciously  exerting  over 


116 


EDUCATION. 


those  whom  she  loves.  No  greater  mistake 
can  be  made,  than  to  suppose  that  an  ignorant 
woman  is  more  likely  to  become  a  good  house- 
keeper than  one  who  is  well  educated.  It  is 
like  the  antiquated  mistake,  that  a  man  is 
spoilt -for  a  merchant,  if  he  is  a  scholar  or  a 
gentleman.  A  pedant,  who  knows  just  enough 
to  be  self-conceited,  is  out  of  place  either  in 
the  counting-room  or  nursery  ;  not  because  of 
too  much  education,  but  too  little.  A  super- 
ficial mind,  imperfectly  instructed,  is  unfitted 
for  all  real  duties.  A  sound  and  good  educa- 
tion both  stimulates  and  enables  us  to  do  the 
best  we  can,  under  whatever  circumstances 
we  are  placed. 

But  when  we  speak  of  a  good  and  sound 
education,  what  do  we  mean?  It  is  not  that 
which  comes  from  school-books  and  a  hired 
teacher  alone,  but  includes  the  physical,  mor- 
al, and  religious  training,  which  are  the  work 
chiefly  of  home  influence  and  of  individual 
self-discipline.  Upon  these  points  it  is  ne- 
cessary to  say  something,  for  the  worst  mis- 
takes in  education  proceed  from  their  neglect. 


EDUCATION.  •  117 

Schools  are  good  things  and  books  are  good 
things,  but  a  healthy  mind  in  a  healthy  body 
is  far  better,  and  the  education  which  neglects 
these  is  likely  to  do  as  much  harm  as  good. 
What  we  need  for  the  real  duties  of  life  is  not 
the  knowledge  of  geography,  arithmetic,  and 
grammar,  but  manliness  and  womanliness  of 
character.  What  we  learn  is  chiefly  valuable 
in  teaching  us  to  think,  in  developing  the 
mind,  in  elevating  the  tastes,  in  maturing  the 
judgment.  We  thus  become  men  and  wo- 
men, and  learn  to  put  away  childish  things. 
But  under  the  system  of  periodical  cramming 
and  display,  adopted  in  many  schools,  partic- 
ularly for  girls,  the  mind  is  scarcely  educated 
at  all.  The  memory  becomes  apt  and  the  per- 
ception quick,  by  which  means  a  good  recita- 
tion is  produced ;  but  the  art  of  thinking  is 
not  taught.  Girls  very  often  leave  school  with 
a  "finished  education,"  whose  education  is 
scarcely  begun.  The  materials  of  thought 
have  been  put  in  their  minds,  but  not  the  abil- 
ity to  use  them.  They  become  women,  but 
not  womanly.  They  continue  to  think  as  the 


1  IS  EDUCATION. 

child,  to  speak  as  the  child,  and  to  understand 
as  the  child,  and  do  not  put  away  childish 
things.  The  idea  of  continued  improvement, 
of  self-culture,  of  an  education  which  contin- 
ues through  life,  does  not  even  enter  their 
minds.  They  have  finished.  As  I  once  heard 
a  child  say,  when  passing  from  the  first  to  the 
second  part  of  his  primer,  that  "  he  had  got 
through  prose  and  had  begun  poetry"  ;  so  the 
learning  part  of  their  life  is  over,  and  they  now 
look  for  its  enjoyment.  Their  school-books 
and  almost  all  other  books  are  laid  upon  the 
shelf,  and  the  externals  of  life  engage  the  un- 
divided attention. 

An  education  which  leads  to  such  a  result 
is  not  worth  the  prices  sometimes  paid  for  it. 
It  is  a  sham  quite  as  much  as  a  substance ; 
but  the  fault  is  not  chargeable  upon  the  teach- 
er alone,  nor  upon  the  school,  although  a  part 
of  it  must  rest  there.  It  is  still  more  charge- 
able upon  the  parents,  and  results  from  the 
want  of  right  influences  at  home.  If  the  mor- 
al and  religious  education  is  there  neglected, 
the  school  will  be  building  upon  a  sandy  foun- 


EDUCATION.  119 

dation,  and  the  superstructure,  however  pretty 
to  look  at,  will  not  endure  the  wear  of  actual 
life. 

Let  us  consider  this  point  still  more  care- 
fully, for  it  is  our  principal  subject  this  even- 
ing. The  tendency  at  the  present  day  is  to 
overrate  the  education  of  books  and  to  under- 
rate the  education  of  character.  At  the  risk, 
therefore,  of  seeming  to  contradict  myself,  I. 
would  show  that  moral  and  religious  culture 
is,  beyond  comparison,  the  most  important. 
We  can  do  without  books;  we  cannot  do 
without  virtue  and  religion.  The  use  of  edu- 
cation is  to  make  us  wiser  and  better ;  other- 
wise it  is  an  evil  instead  of  a  good.  It  is  a 
Bad  thing  to  see  the  character  neglected  for  the 
sake  of  learning,  for  knowledge  then  becomes 
an  instrument  of  iniquity.  After  all,  the  edu- 
cation upon  which  we  chiefly  depend  for  our 
usefulness  and  happiness  is  not  that  which 
comes  from  books  or  schools.  Men  may  learn 
to  think  without  the  printed  page ;  they  may 
learn  to  act  usefully,  wisely,  and  honorably, 
by  the  grace  of  God. 


120  EDUCATION. 

We  have  known  men,  for  example,  to  whom 
the  meagre  education  of  a  primary  school  was 
all  with  which  they  began  life ;  being  forced, 
at  the  age  of  ten  or  twelve  years,  to  enter  up- 
on the  career  of  active  industry. 
?  In  the  strength  of  a  resolute  purpose,  and 
by  virtue  of  what  is  properly  called  mother 
wit,  they  have  steadily  advanced,  not  only  in 
,  the  accumulation  of  property,  but  in  the  at- 
tainment of  useful  knowledge.  Their  practi- 
cal observation  of  men  and  things  has  served 
to  develop  their  thinking  faculties  ;  good  prin- 
ciple has  saved  them  from  the  errors  so  often 
fatal  to  the  young ;  industry  has  gradually 
supplied  the  place  of  early  education ;  com- 
mon sense  has  been  matured  by  experience, 
until  it  has  grown  into  that  soundness  of  judg- 
ment which  is  the  best  practical  wisdom,  and 
the  attainment  of  which  is  one  of  the  highest 
objects  of  education  itself.  Thus,  by  the  time 
the  years  of  middle  life  have  come,  they  have 
put  themselves  in  the  foremost  ranks  of  soci- 
ety, in  usefulness  and  respectability,  among 
merchants,  mechanics,  or  statesmen.  Such  is 


EDUCATION.  121 

the  history  of  some  of  the  most  useful  and  dis- 
tinguished men  in  our  country.  Undoubtedly 
they  always  feel  the  inconvenience  of  imper- 
fect early  education ;  they  would  give  one 
half  they  are  worth  to  supply  the  deficiency 
The  college  student  will  smile  at  their  mis 
takes  in  conversation,  and  they  will  smile  with 
him,  not  because  they  despise  knowledge,  but 
because  they  are  free  from  affectation. 

But  compare  such  persons  with  the  student, 
who  sits  all  day  with  his  feet  on  the  fender 
and  his  head  in  the  clouds ;  or  with  the  litera- 
ry man,  who  reads  every  thing  and  does  noth- 
ing ;  —  and  which  is  the  better,  the  nobler,  the 
more  respectable?  Nay,  which  is  the  better 
educated?  Is  not  the  self-education  which 
has  made  a  strong  character  and  a  manly  life 
better  than  the  really  bad  education  which 
ends  in  idleness  and  a  dream  ?  The  highest 
education  of  the  intellect  is  worthless,  unless 
the  moral  nature  is  developed  and  manliness 
secured. 

Still  more  true  is  this  of  woman.  However 
important  the  education  of  books,  that  of  the 


122  EDUCATION. 

heart  and  character  is  better,  and  goes  far  to 
take  its  place.  The  truly  accomplished  wo- 
man needs  both,  but  very  often  the  greater  is 
sacrificed  for  the  less.  I  do  not  advocate 
ignorance,  but  I  have  known  women  to  whom, 
the  writing  a  letter  is  a  serious  undertaking, 
and  the  whole  range  of  whose  reading  is  the 
Bible,  a  prayer-book,  or  perhaps  some  time 
hallowed  book  of  sermons  or  a  religious  news* 
paper,  who  are  yet  sensible  persons,  capable 
of  performing  all  the  duties  of  life  gracefully 
and  well. 

In  former  days,  when  the  opportunities  of 
education  were  less  than  now,  such  instances 
were  not7  unfrequent.  Shall  I  describe  such 
a  one  to  you  ?  The  dancing-school  has  done 
nothing  for  her,  yet  her  step  is  quick  and  light, 
and  near  the  bed  of  sickness  her  motions  are 
so  gentle,  that  the  sufferer  follows  her  with  a 
smile  on  his  face  and  a  tear  in  his  eye.  She 
never  knew  the  meaning  of  Psychology,  but 
she  has  watched  the  working  of  her  own 
heart,  and  the  spirit  of  God  has  wrought  with 
her  spirit,  until  her  theory  of  the  soul  is,  that 


EDUCATION.  123 

"  God  worketh  in  her  both  to  will  and  to  do 
of  his  good  pleasure."  She  never  opened  a 
book  of  moral  philosophy,  but  she  knows 
enough  to  reject  with  scorn  the  learned  theo- 
ry of  Paley,  that  selfishness  is  the  root  of  all 
goodness,  for  her  Bible  tells  her  that  self-deni- 
al is  the  beginning  of  virtue,  and  self-sacrifice 
its  perfect  consummation.  Her  acquaintance 
with  geography  and  history  is  small ;  but  she 
daily  visits,  in  faith,  the  hallowed  places  where 
the  Saviour  trod,  and  every  chosen  passage 
of  Scripture  is  familiar  to  her  as  household 
words.  She  has  received  no  instruction  from 
the  singing-master,  but  a  well-governed  tem- 
per has  taught  her  to  modulate  her  voice,  so 
that  it  is  always  musical  and  never  too  loud 
or  too  sharp.  She  looks  with  astonishment 
at  the  books  which  her  children  bring  home 
from  school,  but  while  regretting  her  inability 
to  aid  them  in  their  studies,  she  can  teach 
them  habits  of  attention  and  make  them 
cheerful  under  their  first  discouragements ; 
nor  did  it  ever  occur  to  them  to  despise  their 
mother  because  ignorant  of  things  which  she 


124  EDUCATION. 

never  had  opportunity  to  learn,  for  they  love 
and  revere  her  too  much  to  think  her  ignorant 
of  any  thing.  Thus  will  the  pure  mind  give 
the  most  beautiful  adorning ;  thus  will  a  heav- 
en-directed spirit  refine  and  elevate  itself,  and 
gain  many  of  the  results  of  education,  with- 
out employment  of  its  ordinary  means.  It 
is,  perhaps,  an  historical  picture  that  I  have 
drawn,  but  has  it  not  some  traits  of  beauty 
even  to  our  eyes  ? 

I  need  not  say,  that  this  is  not  my  ideal  of 
what  woman  ought  to  be.  To  make  her  such, 
you  must  add  mental  culture  and  the  refine- 
ments of  cultivated  taste.  Yet  such  an  one 
has  an  innate  nobleness  that  entitles  her  to 
respect  and  makes  her  greatly  superior  to 
many  whose  school  education  is  far  more 
complete.  Compare  her  with  those  fancifully 
educated  ladies,  who  dip  into  a  hundred 
books  without  understanding  any ;  who  have 
a  smattering  of  half  a  dozen  languages,  but 
cannot  express  themselves  with  simplicity  in 
their  own ;  who  have  a  great  deal  of  knowl- 
edge, but  veiy  few  ideas  ;  who  have  spent 


EDUCATION.  125 

months  and  years  in  the  acquisition  of  accom- 
plishments, but  have  no  industry  to  accom- 
plish arty  thing  useful ;  who  have,  in  a  word,, 
enjoyed  the  advantages  of  polite  education, 
but  have  never  been  taught  that  self-discipline 
which  is  the  result  of  moral  and  religious 
training,  and  which  is  so  indispensable  to  so- 
cial and  domestic  life :  and  how  immeasura- 
bly superior  does  the  education  of  heart  and 
life  appear,  to  that  which  is  chiefly  of  the  in- 
tellect and  manners,  but  which  is,  even  in 
these  departments,  so  imperfect. 

Under  a  right  system  of  education,  there  is 
no  necessity  of  neglecting  one  part  for  the 
other.  We  say  of  the  merchant  or  mechanic, 
that  integrity  of  character,  good  judgment, 
and  a  practical  knowledge  of  his  business,  are 
more  important  than  general  information.  If 
he  loses  them,  he  loses  every  thing;  but  the 
latter  ought  not  to  be  neglected.  Make  him 
a  well-informed  man,  and  his  integrity,  judg- 
ment, and  practical  knowledge  will  be  worth 
twice  as  much  as  before.  So  in  woman's 
education,  the  attainment  of  knowledge  and 


126  EDUCATION. 

improvement  of  the  manners,  the  cultivation 
of  taste,  the  accomplishments  of  music,  draw- 
ing, and  dancing,  need  not  be  neglected,  and 
ought  not  to  be ;  but  they  must  be  made 
secondary  and  subordinate  to  moral  culture. 
They  should  become  the  handmaids  of  relig- 
ion and  virtue ;  branches  grafted  into  the 
healthy  tree  of  home  education.  The  woman 
should  regard  them,  first,  as  the  means  used 
for  her  own  improvement  and  happiness,  and 
secondly,  as  instruments  in  making  her  home 
pleasant  and  attractive,  so  as  to  fill  her  place 
in  life  gracefully  and  well.  But  very  often  the 
refinements  of  education  are  so  managed  as 
to  unfit  her  for  practical  life.  She  is  not  only 
kept  ignorant  of  all  the  details  of  household 
duty,  by  which  means  the  beginning  of  her 
married  life  is  often  made  a  series  of  blunders, 
both  mortifying  and  costly ;  but  she  wants 
the  moral  training  of  temper  and  disposition, 
without  which  it  is  so  hard  for  her  to  learn. 
The  result  is  sometimes,  not  only  painful,  but 
ludicrous.  The  husband  not  unfrequently  dis- 
covers that  he  has  made  a  fatal  error,  and,  to 


EDUCATION.  127 

use  the  quaint  language  of  HENRY  COLEMAN, 
"that,  for  all  the  purposes  of  domestic  life,  he 
might  as  well  have  put  a  skilfully  painted 
picture  in  the  parlor,  and  a  statue  of  Venus 
de  Medicis  in  the  kitchen." 

Let  it  be  remarked,  however,  that  the  defi- 
ciency of  which  we  now  complain  is  not  mere- 
ly of  skill  in  the  management  of  household 
affairs  ;  although  this  is  to  be  regretted.  It  is 
want  of  that  moral  and  religious  education, 
which  gives  habits  of  industry  and  economy, 
a  contented  disposition,  a  cheerful  heart  and 
pleasant  manners,  a  willingness  to  oblige,  fa- 
cility in  thinking  of  the  wants  of  others  and 
corresponding  forgetfulness  of  one's  self,  an 
amiable  temper  and  devotedness  of  mind. 
Give  her  these,  and  she  will  soon  learn  her 
duty,  whatever  it  may  be.  She  will  learn  to 
conform  herself  to  her  circumstances  in  a 
palace  or  a  single  room.  She  will  find  that, 
however  valuable  the  cultivation  of  her  intel- 
lect has  been,  the  habits  of  thoughtfulness  in 
duty  and  of  prayer  compose  "  the  one  thing 
needful." 


128  EDUCATION. 

These  things,  let  me  again  say,  are  not 
learned  only  or  principally  at  school.  They 
are  not  taught  most  effectually  by  the  paid 
teacher  nor  by  the  printed  book.  They  are 
the  result  of  home  education  ;  they  come  from 
Bible  instruction ;  they  are  the  reception  by 
the  soul  of  heavenly  influences,  through  the 
mother's  example  and  advice,  sustained  by  the 
father's  authority. 

Such  views  of  the  subject  have  always 
made  me  adverse  to  boarding-school  educa- 
tion, and  to  all  modes  of  educating  girls  away 
from  their  own  homes.  Peculiar  circumstan- 
ces may  justify  a  resort  to  them,  for  there  are 
exceptions  to  every  general  rule.  The  incom- 
petency  of  mothers  themselves  sometimes  re- 
quires it,  in  which  case  we  have  nothing  to 
say  but  to  express  our  regret.  In  a  new  coun- 
try, also,  we  naturally  wish  to  avail  ourselves 
of  the  better  institutions  in  older  communities, 
and  many  go  to  great  expense  in  so  doing. 
But  I  believe  the  general  rule  remains,  that 
no  superiority  of  such  institutions  can  coun- 
terbalance the  loss  of  good  home  influences 


EDUCATION.  129 

upon  the  female  mind  and  character.  Even 
to  young  men  the  trial  is  very  great,  and  the 
apparent  necessity  of  sending  them  to  college, 
where  all  home  influence  is  lost,  is  fraught 
with  dangers  which  are  often  more  than  an 
offset  to  the  advantages  gained.  But  to  the 
young  lady  the  evil  is  far  greater ;  for  the 
most  important  part  of  her  education  consists 
in  the  harmonious  development  of  those  affec- 
tions and  sympathies  which  can  be  developed 
nowhere  but  at  home,  and  at  no  period  of  life 
except  in  childhood  and  early  youth.  The 
home  education  must  go  on  together  with 
that  of  the  school,  so  that  while  the  head  is 
learning  from  books,  the  heart  may  be  learn- 
ing from  example,  and  the  hands  from  prac- 
tice. The  character  is  thus  formed  while  the 
rmnd  is  instructed,  and  in  proportion  as  she 
learns  more,  she  is  prepared  to  be  more  useful 
and  more  happy,  in  whatever  station  of  life 
God  has  placed  her.  She  is  thus  educated 
for  her  position,  not  above  it  nor  aside  from  it, 
and  there  is  no  danger  of  making  her  tastes 
too  refined  or  her  intellect  too  cultivated.  The 
9 


130  EDUCATION, 

correcting  influence  of  home  is  daily  applied, 
so  that  whatever  may  be  learned  is  incorpo- 
rated with  what  is  practised.  But  too  often 
those  educated  away  from  home  are  trained 
for  a  mode  of  life  quite  different  from  that 
in  which  they  must  actually  live.  Through 
five  or  six  years  they  have  no  one's  comfort  to 
think  of  but  their  own ;  no  duties  to  perform 
except  to  study  a  certain  number  of  hours, 
and  to  conduct  themselves,  in  the  presence  of 
their  teachers  or  of  company,  with  a  certain 
prim  propriety,  which  is  a  sure  indication  that 
they  are  rude  and  hoydenish  everywhere  else. 
Even  when  such  institutions  are  conducted  on 
the  best  principles  and  with  the  best  instruct- 
ors, the  loss  of  a  mother's  influence  and  care 
is  very,  great  and  must  be  seriously  felt ;  but 
as  they  are  sometimes  conducted,  money-mak- 
ing concerns,  with  much  show  and  little  sub- 
stance, they  are  nothing  but  ingenious  contri- 
vances to  keep  the  scholar  ignorant  of  every 
thing  she  ought  to  know,  and  to  unfit  her  for 
every  thing  she  ought  to  do.  Too  often,  from 
such  institutions,  where  young  ladies  have 


EDUCATION.  131 

been  kept  year  after  year  in  luxury  and  indo- 
lence, at  the  expense,  perhaps,  of  parents  who 
have  denied  themselves  common  comforts  for 
the  sake  of  giving  them  the  best  advantages, 
they  return  to  their  homes  vain  and  selfish, 
with  their  heads  full  of  false  notions  and  idle 
plans,  looking  upon  industry  as  the  height  of 
vulgarity  and  upon  indolence  as  a  ladylike 
trait  of  character.  The  probability  of  their 
being  happy  at  home,  or  of  adding  to  the  hap- 
piness of  parents,  is  very  small.  If  they  are 
by  nature  very  good  girls,  they  may  soon 
learn  to  repair  the  error  and  become  sensible 
women ;  but  commonly  it  is  pretty  safe  to 
prophesy,  that  they  will  make  some  absurd 
settlement  of  themselves  in  life,  and  rue  the 
consequences  to  the  day  of  their  death.  For 
she  who  leaves  home  a  girl,  and  returns  a 
young  lady,  is  almost  a  stranger  to  her  own 
parents,  and  does  not  know  how  to  make 
them,  as  they  ought  to  be,  her  confidants. 
She  has  grown  up  away  from  them,  and  does 
not  know  how  to  trust  herself  to  their  sympa- 
thies. Her  intimacies  are  very  apt  to  be* out 


132  EDUCATION. 

of  her  own  home,  and  although  under  her 
parents'  roof,  she  virtually  lives  at  a  distance 
from  them.  She  therefore  enters  upon  the 
world  untried,  and  almost  unprotected.  With 
more  self-reliance  than  wisdom,  she  is  exposed 
to  frequent  deception,  and  suffers  frequent  and 
sometimes  the  severest  disappointment. 

However  much,  therefore,  we  may  value 
what  are  called  the  advantages  of  education, 
I  think  that  very  imperfect  instruction  at 
school,  together  with  good  home  influences,  is 
better  than  the  best  boarding-school  educa- 
tion ever  devised.  Let  parents  have  the  wis- 
dom to  encourage  our  own  schools,  by  paying 
as  much  for  their  daughters  at  home  as  it 
costs  when  sent  abroad,  and  the  motive  for 
sending  them  away  will  soon  cease.  Let 
their  children  grow  up  under  their  own  roofs, 
and  when  no  longer  children  they  will  become 
intimate  friends,  and  the  necessity  of  parental 
authority  will  yield  to  the  influence  of  filial 
love. 


LECTURE    V. 


FOLLIES. 

"  Whose  adorning,  let  it  be  that  of  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit,  which  is  In 
the  sight  of  God  of  great  price."  —  1  Peter  iii.  3,  4. 

IF  my  remarks  last  Sunday  evening  were 
at  all  correct,  the  most  important  part  of  a 
woman's  education  is  that  which  she  must 
accomplish  for  herself.  Not  only  during  her 
school  days,  but  after  they  are  passed,  the 
work  of  self-improvement  should  steadily  go 
on.  Her  aim  should  be,  not  only  to  become 
ladylike  and  agreeable,  but  a  thoughtful,  well- 
informed,  and  useful  woman.  In  other  words, 
the  education  of  her  character  and  the  just 
development  of  her  mind  is  the  object  to  be 
obtained.  To  this  end  her  teachers  may  help 
her  more  or  less,  according  to  the  manner  in 
which  she  is  taught  to  read,  to  study,  and  to 
think.  The  parents,  and  particularly  the 


134  FOLLIES. 

mother,  may  do  still  more  by  judicious  in- 
struction, and  by  the  example  of  a  Christian 
life.  But  after  all,  and  above  all,  she  must 
lay  .hold  of  the  work  herself.  She  must  per- 
ceive its  necessity,  and  resolve  that  nothing 
shall  divert  her  mind  from  it.  It  is  a  slow  work, 
requiring  years  for  its  faithful  performance, 
and  is  in  fact  never  completed  while  life  con- 
tinues. Humanly  speaking,  self-improvement 
is  the  great  business  of  life,  and  is  only  an- 
other expression  for  making  the  best  of  all 
our  faculties,  for  the  glory  of  God  and  by  his 
nelp.  The  young  lady,  therefore,  instead  of 
losing  sight  of  it  when  she  leaves  her  school- 
books,  should  feel  that  the  work  is  just  begun. 
As  the  carpenter,  during  his  apprenticeship, 
has  done  little  more  than  learn  the  use  of  his 
tools,  and  has  his  life's  work  of  building  and 
designing  before  him  ;  so  ought  she  to  feel  that 
her  school  education  has  only  unlocked  the 
door  through  which  she  must  go  in  the  further 
acquisition  of  knowledge,  in  the  exercise  of 
thought,  in  the  discipline  of  her  mind,  in  the 
formation  of  a  complete  womanly  character. 


FOLLIES.  135 

We  need  not  say  that  such  views  would 
materially  change  her  course  of  life,  particu- 
larly in  the  early  years  of  womanhood.  It 
would  be  for  the  most  part  an  intellectual, 
and  to  many  a  moral  regeneration,  second 
in  importance  only  to  that  spiritual  birth  by 
which  we  are  born  into  the  kingdom  of  God. 
Moreover,  the  first  change  would  be  conducive 
to  the  second,  because  the  same  hinderances 
which  prevent  intellectual  and  moral  improve- 
ment also  keep  her  from  the  religious  life. 
By  teaching  her  to  think  seriously,  and  to  feel 
that  the  object  of  her  life  is  not  enjoyment, 
but  improvement,  you  remove  her  from  the 
frivolities  which  consume  so  much  time  to  so 
little  purpose  ;  for  you  thereby  not  only  teach 
her  that  such  frivolity  is  foolish,  but  you  take 
away  her  taste  for  it,  except,  perhaps,  as  an 
occasional  recreation,  to  which  the  mind 
stoops  when  tired. 

As  such,  we  say  nothing  against  it.  Young 
persons  must  have  their  times  of  sport,  and 
we  are  never  so  old  as  to  dispense  with  them 
altogether.  It  would  probably  be  better  for 


136  FOLLIES. 

many  of  us  to  recognize  this  necessity ;  for 
if  the  mind  is  kept  on  the  continual  stretch 
of  serious  duty,  it  will  lose  its  healthy  action. 
The  teacher  needs  holiday  more  than  the 
scholar.  We  must  have  our  times  of  rest, 
when  the  armor  of  life  is  put  off,  and  the 
weapons  of  its  conflict  laid  aside,  or  our  du- 
ties become  too  heavy  a  burden,  and  life  itself 
comes  to  a  premature  close.  Nor  need  we 
bring  the  hours  of  recreation  under  the  too 
rigid  scrutiny  of  reason.  The  scrutiny  of 
conscience  must  be  there  and  as  strictly  ex- 
ercised as  in  our  careful  occupations.  How- 
ever pleasant  it  may  be  to  do  wrong,  we  have 
no  right  to  do  it ;  and  sin  committed  in  pur- 
suit of  pleasure  is  as  great  as  if  done  for  the 
sake  of  profit.  But  having  made  this  reser- 
vation, the  wisest  of  us  can  sometimes  afford 
to  lay  aside  our  dignity  and  become  children. 
As  .ZEsop  played  at  marbles,  and  the  judg- 
ment of  the  world  has  since  declared  that 
under  the  circumstances  he  could  not  have 
done  a  wiser  thing ;  so  may  our  amusements 
sometimes  be  trifling,  in  themselves  consid- 


FOLLIES.  137 

cred,  for  the  same  reason  "  that  the  bow  needs 
to  be  completely  unbent." 

I  have  said  this,  not  for  its  own  sake,  but 
as  an  introduction  to  other  remarks.  I  do  not 
wish  to  take  the  unphilosophical,  untenable, 
and  I  think  unchristian  position,  of  condem- 
ning every  thing  in  life,  unless  invested  with 
soberness  as  a  serious  and  momentous  duty. 
There  is  danger  of  making  life  so  serious  as 
to  become  sad  and  gloomy.  In  that  case, 
even  our  duties  will  be  less  heartily  performed 
than  if  we  permitted  a  little  more  of  the 
pleasant  sunlight  on  our  path.  But  if  we 
try  to  make  it  all  sunlight,  and  ourselves  to 
sport  continually  in  its  beams,  like  insects  of 
the  day,  pleasure-seekers  and  frivolous  in 
heart,  it  is  a  very  different  thing.  That  which 
may  be  excused  or  commended  as  an  occa- 
sional recreation,  becomes  very  unmanly  or 
unwomanly, -if  made  the  object  of  daily  pur- 
suit. 

Dissipation  is  a  hard  word,  and  to  say  that 
a  young  man  is  dissipated  is  to  draw  a  black 
line  through  his  name,  erasing  it  from  the  roll 


138  FOLLIES. 

of  those  who  are  accounted  honorable  and 
useful  in  the  world ;  for  in  that  application 
it  implies  self-indulgence,  unsteadiness  of 
character,  intemperance,  and  other  faults  de- 
structive of  usefulness  and  true  respectability. 
It  is  perhaps  too  harsh  a  word,  therefore,  for 
our  present  use ;  but  we  need  some  corre- 
sponding term  which  implies  the  same  fault 
of  character,  although  the  external  manifesta- 
tion is  different.  Female  dissipation  is  pleas- 
ure-seeking, the  love  of  admiration,  devoted- 
ness  to  fashion,  or  the  like.  These  lead  to 
extravagance,  waste  of  time,  frivolity  of  char- 
acter, neglect  of  duty,  unwomanliness  of  con- 
duct; in  a  word,  to  a  selfish,  worldly,  and  irre- 
ligious life.  All  this  may  be  without  a  single 
act  which  can  be  called  crime,  almost  without 
any  thing  which,  taken  by  itself,  can  be  called 
sinful.  It  is  the  making  a  business  of  pleas- 
ure; the  surrendering  one's  self,  body  and  mind, 
to  the  capricious  rules  of  fashion  and  to  the 
superficial  demands  of  social  life ;  so  that  the 
enormous  accumulation  of  trifles  rests  upon 
the  soul  with  almost  as  heavy  weight  as  the 


FOLLIES.  139 

greater  faults  which  men  commit.  A  single 
feather  may  be  an  ornament;  but  you  may  be 
buried  under  feathers,  as  effectually  as  under 
the  baser  earth.  Each  day  and  hour  may 
seem  to  be  lightly,  almost  harmlessly  spent. 
As  you  seek  to  defend  each  separate  act,  we 
may  admit  that  there  is  no  great  harm  in  it; 
if  really  by  itself,  no  harm  at  all.  But  a  whole 
winter  spent  in  such  a  way,  months  and  years, 
sometimes  a  whole  life,  consecrated,  nay,  des- 
ecrated to  amusement  as  the  real  occupation 
of  the  mind  and  heart,  —  surely  we  need  no 
harsh  words  to  make  the  folly  and  the  sinful- 
ness  of  such  a  course  appear. 

The  young  lady  finishes  her  school  days 
with  the  feeling  of  one  who  has  escaped  from 
thraldom.  She  has  looked  forward  to  the  day 
with  longing  eyes  and  exaggerated  expecta- 
tions. Her  studies  have  perhaps  been  pursued 
more  closely,  because  the  time  when  she  could 
stop  studying  was  so  near.  She  has  labored, 
as  if  the  whole  education  of  her  mind  must  be 
compressed  into  a  few  years,  at  the  close  of 
which  she  would  be  done  with  books,  except 


140  FOLLIES. 

by  way  of  amusement,  for  ever.  The  day 
comes  at  last,  although  deferred  by  parental 
command  as  long  as  possible,  and  at  the  age 
when  the  mind  is  just  attaining  that  maturity 
of  judgment  which  would  make  her  studies 
of  real  use,  she  passes  in  a  month's  time  from 
the  discipline  of  girlhood  to  the  recognized  po- 
sition of  a  young  lady  in  society.  She  is  now 
diligently  prepared  to  "come  out," —  as  though 
the  whole  work  of  in-door  education  were  com- 
plete. The  parents  are  given  to  understand 
that  no  expense  is  to  be  spared,  particularly 
for  her  first  season,  and  that  every  thing  de- 
pends upon  a  good  impression  being  now 
made.  The  house  is  thrown  open  for  compa- 
ny, and  the  game  of  life  fairly  begun.  Cards 
and  invitations  pour  in  and  afford  the  prin- 
cipal reading,  and  dress  is  the  all-absorbing 
subject  of  thought.  Day  after  day  is  given 
to  visits  of  etiquette,  to  evening  receptions,  to 
prolonged  consultations  about  the  latest  fash- 
ion, and  to  other  things  which  are  as  nearly 
nothing  as  it  is  in  the  nature  of  any  thing  to 
be.  The  night  is  not  spared,  but  at  nine  01 


FOLLIES.  141 

ten  o'clock  —  a  young  person's  proper  time 
for  retiring  to  rest  —  the  elaborate  and  long- 
studied  arrangement  of  dress  is  complete,  and 
the  feverish  excitement  of  the  ball-room  be- 
gun, to  be  continued  with  increasing  hilarity 
until  the  night  yields  to  morning.  She  re- 
turns home  too  excited  to  feel  weary,  but  com- 
pelled to  find,  in  the  early  part  of  the  next  day, 
the  repose  needed  for  a  renewal  of  the  like  oc- 
cupations, which  soon  grow  to  —  what  shall  1 
call  it  but  dissipation?  In  this  way  weeks 
and  months  pass  in  alternating  languor  and 
excitement;  in  the  intense  pursuit  of  pleas- 
ure, which  is  more  than  half  the  time  falsely 
so  called. 

Now  the  first  and  most  obvious  fault  to  be 
found  with  such  modes  of  life  is  in  the  lam- 
entable and  destructive  waste  of  time.  If 
all  this  fashionable  dissipation  were  in  itself 
unobjectionable,  which  is  far  from  the  truth, 
yet  is  it  not  a  sad  thing  for  a  woman  to  give 
so  much  of  the  best  part  of  her  life  to  trivial 
amusement?  It  cannot  be  called  recreation, 
for  it  is  itself  a  business  which  engrosses  the 


142  FOLLIES. 

thoughts,  occupies  nearly  all  the  time,  and 
leaves  neither  strength  nor  inclination  for  any 
thing  else.  The  young  lady  under  such  cir- 
cumstances may  at  first  have  some  vague  pur- 
pose of  self-improvement  and  some  general 
plan  of  reading,  but  she  will  soon  find  it  im- 
practicable, and  after  a  few  well-intended  but 
spasmodic  efforts,  will  defer  its  execution  to 
the  close  of  the  season,  when  she  expects  to 
have  more  time  and  less  interruption.  But 
unfortunately,  when  the  time  comes,  the  incli- 
nation is  very  likely  to  be  gone.  Three  or 
four  months  spent  in  a  continued  round  of 
company  are  a  bad  preparation  for  the  quiet 
hours  of  reading  and  reflection.  The  excite- 
ment of  the  mind  subsides,  as  the  outward 
stimulants  are  withdrawn,  and  a  correspond- 
ing lassitude  is  the  inevitable  result.  The 
body  itself  needs  rest,  and  generally  speaking, 
in  the  fashionable  world,  several  weeks  or 
months,  and  sometimes  the  whole  summer, 
must  be  devoted  to  recuperate  the  energies 
and  renew  the  flow  of  animal  spirits,  in  prepa- 
ration for  another  season,  in  which  the  same 
follies  will  be  repeated. 


FOLLIES.  143 

How  undignified,  may  I  not  say  how  un- 
christian, is  such  a  life  !  How  completely  it 
must  unfit  those  who  follow  it  for  the  duties 
and  the  enjoyment  of  home !  What  room 
does  it  leave  for  intellectual  self-culture,  or  re- 
ligious self-discipline?  Who  can  wonder  that 
the  young,  who  pass  directly  from  their  school 
days  to  such  a  career  as  this,  never  attain  ma- 
turity of  character,  but  continue,  even  after 
they  have  become  wives  and  mothers,  to  de- 
vote themselves  to  the  pursuit  of  pleasure,  the 
willing  devotees  of  fashion.?  What  wonder 
is  it  that  female  education  is  at  so  low  a 
mark,  and  woman's  influence  so  small  com- 
pared with  what  it  should  be  when  so  many 
are  thus  neglectful  of  their  own  improvement 
and  eager  in  the  pursuit  of  trifles! 

A  second  objection  to  the  mode  of  life  now 
described  is  in  the  extravagance  to  which  it 
leads.  This  is  a  great  and  increasing  evil 
among  us.  There  scarcely  seems  to  be  any 
limit  to  the  co*t  of  living  required  by  fashion- 
able life.  Each  one  tries  to  outdo  the  other, 
until  a  style  of  dress  and  entertainment  is  es- 


1 44  v  FOLLIES. 

tablished,  enough  to  impoverish  all  but  the 
very  rich,  and  to  exclude  all  prudent  and  sen- 
sible persons  from  the  competition.  But  un- 
fortunately few  of  us  are  either  prudent  or  sen- 
sible in  such  things.  As  our  children  grow 
up,  we  do  not  wish  to  seclude  them  from  the 
world,  and  our  own  social  ambition  excites  us 
to  do  as  others  do.  How  far  the  fault  is 
chargeable  to  the  mother  and  daughter,  and 
how  far  to  the  husband  and  father,  we  shall 
not  seek  to  determine ;  bat  it  belongs  to  my 
present  subject  to  say,  that  the  extravagance 
into  which  the  young  lady  is  led  by  fashion- 
able life,  and  in  which  she  is  encouraged  too 
often  by  the  precepts  and  example  of  her 
mother,  is  frequently  beyond  the  bounds  both 
of  reason  and  good  taste.  Even  where  there 
is  great  wealth,  it  is  barely  excusable,  for  the 
greatest  wealth  does  not  justify  wastefulness. 
But  when,  as  the  case  commonly  is,  the  ex- 
penditure is  not  measured  by  the  income,  the 
evil  and  the  sin  are  both  increased.  I  do  not 
ask  for  sumptuary  laws,  to  bring  our  mode  of 
living  under  strict  and  arbitrary  rules  ;  nor  do 


FOLLIES.  145 

I  wish  that  the  elegances  of  dress  and  enter- 
tainment should  be  altogether  abated.  But  I 
do  wish  that  a  higher  standard  of  taste  could 
prevail,  and  that  extravagance  for  extrava- 
gance' sake  were  accounted  vulgar.  The  lady 
who  loads  herself  with  jewelry  and  the  annual 
cost  of  whose  wardrobe  would  support  an  or- 
phan asylum,  seems  to  me  to  have  departed 
as  far  from  the  canons  of  correct  taste  as  from 
those  of  propriety.  Her  apparel  ceases  to  in- 
crease her  beauty,  when  admired  only  for  its 
splendor,  and  ornament  fails  in  its  purpose 
when  it  diverts  attention  from  the  wearer. 
The  lady  forgets  herself,  I  think,  and  com- 
promises her  dignity,  when  she  becomes,  as  it 
were,  an  advertisement  for  the  jeweller  and 
milliner. 

I  know  how  absolute  are  the  requirements 
of  fashion,  nor  would  I  be  so  foolish  as  to  put 
myself  in  direct  opposition  thereto.  We  may 
read  in  HUME'S  History,  that  for  two  centu- 
ries the  whole  priesthood  of  England  expend- 
ed their  strength  against  certain  insignificant 
fashions ;  but  the  historian  says,  that  although 
10 


146  FOLLIES, 

they  were  able  to  excite  the  whole  community 
to  the  wars  of  the  Crusades,  in  which  both 
blood  and  treasure  were  poured  out  like  water, 
the  pointed  shoes,  with  chains  appended  to 
the  knee,  continued  in  spite  of  them. 

We  are  compelled,  almost,  to  conform  our- 
selves, in  some  measure,  to  the  usages  of  the 
world.  Sound  morality  does  not  require,  and 
good  taste  does  not  permit  us  to  become  the 
object  of  remark  in  our  manner  of  dress  and 
living.  Up  to  a  certain  point  it  is  a  matter  of 
indifference,  in  which  a  sensible  person  will  be 
content  to  follow  those  who  wish  to  lead,  and 
the  best  general  rule  in  all  such  things  is  to 
avoid  making  one's  self  conspicuous.  The 
moment  that  we  violate  this  rule,  we  offend 
against  good  taste,  whether  it  be  by  the  affect- 
ed disregard  of  custom,  or  by  going  to  the  ex- 
treme of  fashion  and  display.  When  the  dress 
is  so  splendid,  that  one  can  hardly  help  think- 
ing that  she  .who  wears  it  came  only  to  be 
looked  at,  she  is  giving  evidence  neither  of 
sound  judgment  nor  good  taste.  It  should  be 
painful  to  her,  I  think,  to  know  that  all  eyes 


FOLLIES.  147 

are  turned  towards  her,  and  the  admiring  gaze 
mingled  with  astonishment.  But  the  love  of 
admiration  is  very  greedy  and  not  very  dis- 
criminating. The  young  gentleman  appropri- 
ates to  himself  the  praise  which  belongs  to  his 
tailor  or  to  his  horse,  with  as  much  self-com- 
placency as  if  properly  his  own ;  and  the  young 
lady  is  almost  as  proud  of  the  compliments 
lavished  upon  her  adorning,  as  if  they  were 
paid  to  her  own  beauty  or  intellectual  accom- 
plishments. Nor  is  it  only  the  admiration  of 
the  judicious  that  gives  pleasure.  The  praise, 
bought  at  the  expense  of  so  much  money  and 
time,  is  chiefly  that  of  thoughtless,  shallow- 
minded  people,  of  either  sex,  who  are  half  the 
time  insincere  in  their  commendations,  and 
who  indemnify  themselves  for  the*  flattery  giv- 
en to  one,  by  ridicule  cast  upon  another,  — 
both  flattery  and  ridicule  being  directed  to 
the  same  subject,  present  or  absent. 

There  is  no  passion  which  needs  more  care- 
ful watching  than  this  of  which  we  now  speak, 
the  love  of  praise.  Under  the  best  circum- 
stances, when  oxcited  by  real  qualities  of  mind 


148  FOLLIES. 

and  character,  and  when  the  praise  is  given 
by  those  whos3  good  opinion  is  worth  having, 
it  is  dangerous.  It  spoils  the  simplicity  of 
our  characters,  and  takes  the  place  of  higher 
motives  of  conduct.  But  they  who  pride 
themselves  on  the  admiration  of  silly  persons, 
paid  to  outside  accomplishments,  are  in  a  fair 
way  to  become  silly  themselves. 

Another  material  objection  to  the  dissipa- 
tions of  fashionable  life  is  found  in  the  fre- 
quent sacrifice  of  health.  The  physical  edu- 
cation of  women  is,  at  the  best,  too  much  dis- 
regarded in  this  country.  From  the  early  life 
of  the  school-girl  there  is  a  systematic  neglect 
of  exercise,  which  prevents  her  from  gaining 
bodily  strength.  She  is  kept  at  her  desk  as 
many  hours  as  the  boy,  but  carefully  discour- 
aged from  entering  into  out-of-door  games  like 
those  which  give  to  his  blood  renewed  and 
healthy  circulation.  Primness  of  demeanor 
and  what  is  called  ladylike  conduct  are*  en- 
forced upon  her,  at  eight  years  old,  when  it 
would  be  much  more  natural  to  enjoy  herself 
as  a  child.  Her  dress,  also,  is  arranged  with 


FOLLIES. 

regard  to  looks  rather  than  comfort,  and  she 
does  not  learn  to  bear  the  exposure  of  a  chang- 
ing climate.  There  is,  therefore,  great  need  of 
reform.  Every  school  should  have  its  exercise- 
room  and  its  play-ground,  where  good,  honest, 
and  hearty  exercise  can  be  taken.  Let  the 
chest  be  developed,  and  the  arms  become 
strong.  The  symmetry  of  the  most  graceful 
figure  will  not  be  impaired  by  healthy  devel- 
opment of  the  muscles,  while  the  prospect  of 
a  useful  and  happy  life  is  greatly  increased. 

But  we  cannot  pursue  the  subject  now.  It 
is  enough  to  refer  to  what  every  body  knows, 
that  the  majority  of  girls  now  leave  school 
with  very  imperfect  health.  Two  thirds  of  the 
time,  some  bad  tendency  in  the  constitution 
has  been  confirmed,  and  distressing  headaches, 
or  weakness  of  the  spine,  or  susceptibility  to 
pulmonary  disorders,  is  the  result.  It  is  quite 
a  luxury  to  see  a  young  lady  of  sixteen  in 
the  enjoyment  of  sincere  and  vigorous  health, 
with  a  fresh  natural  color  and  a  well-devel- 
oped form. 

This  is  not  a  promising  state  of  things  for 


150  FOLLIES. 

their  entrance  on  life ;  but  if,  for  two  or  three 
years  afterward,  they  could  live  a  rational  life 
engaged  in  household  duties,  or  in  healthful 
walking  and  riding,  and  in  the  enjoyment  of 
social  amusements  without  dissipation  or  un- 
reasonable exposure,  the  injuries  of  the  school 
life  would  probably  be,  to  a  great  extent,  re- 
paired. The  body  would  regain  its  vigor,  and 
a  good  measure  of  womanly  health  be  se- 
cured. At  present,  no  such  opportunity  is 
allowed.  Before  the  school  days  are  finished, 
the  social  dissipation  begins.  The  lessons  are 
learned  with  double  diligence,  so  that  the 
evening  and  night  may  be  given  to  the  ball- 
room. Through  the  next  day  compliments 
and  philosophy  struggle  for  the  mastery,  and 
the  whole  emulation  of  the  school  is  required 
to  keep  the  overtasked  body  from  yielding  to 
fatigue. 

The  appetite  is  thus  whetted  for  the  pleas- 
ures of  society,  and  as  soon  as  the  last  school 
examination  has  been  endured,  they  are  en- 
tered upon  with  the  eagerness  of  fresh  delight. 
She  who  is  not  strong  enough  to  walk  a  few 


FOLLIES.  151 

squares  on  a  cold  day  or  in  the  muddy  street, 
is  quite  able  to  spend  half  the  day  with  the 
dress-maker,  and  all  night  in  the  dance. 
Whatever  degree  of  exposure  fashion  may 
require,  she  submits  to  with  alacrity,  and  does 
not  learn  until  months  or  years  are  past,  how 
fatal  is  the  result  to  her  physical  health.  Even 
after  health  is  already  gone,  the  love  of  excite- 
ment remains;  and  I  have  known  some  to  rise 
from  a  sick-bed,  throwing  off  the  covering  of 
blankets  for  a  covering  of  gauze,  and  mistak- 
ing the  feverishness  of  pulse  for  the  natural 
return  of  strength.  How  frequently,  when  the 
winter  is  over,  and  the  days  of  Lent  or  the 
close  of  the  season  require  the  resumption  of 
a  more  staid  manner  of  life,  do  we  see  young 
ladies  pale  and  languid,  almost  as  if  recover- 
ing from  a  long  sickness!  How  can  we  then 
wonder  that  the  number  of  healthy  women,  in 
the  higher  classes  of  society,  is  so  small?  The 
causes  which  I  have  now  named  explain  it  at 
least  in  part,  and  while  the  laws  of  the  physi- 
cal nature  are  so  much  neglected  at  school, 
and  so  much  outraged  in  the  earlier  years  of 


152  FOLLIES. 

womanhood,  there  seems  to  be  no  reasonable 
hope  of  amendment.  It  is  said  by  the  de- 
fenders of  such  customs,  that  the  exercise  of 
dancing  is  so  healthful  as  to  compensate  for 
the  exposure.  But  exercise  in  a  heated  and 
overcrowded  room  is  not  of  much  value,  al- 
though I  admit  that  the  dance,  when  con- 
ducted in  such  a  manner  as  not  to  offend 
against  modesty,  is  the  least  objectionable 
feature  of  the  ball-room  or  fashionable  party. 
The  chief  objections  are  found  in  late  hours, 
prolonged  excitement,  insufficient  apparel,  ex- 
travagance, and  foolish  indulgence  at  the  sup- 
per-table. If  these  could  be  removed  or  mod- 
erated, if  they  could  be  brought  within  the 
bounds  of  reason,  if  they  were  so  arranged 
that  a  sensible  man  or  woman  could  approve 
of  them,  while  engaging  in  them,  we  should 
have  less  fault  to  find.  What  prospect  there 
may  be  of  such  a  result,  I  do  not  know.  From 
one  step  to  another,  we  are  learning  to  imitate 
the  most  foolish  customs  of  European  society, 
and  in  many  respects  succeed  in  going  be- 
yond our  teachers.  The  best  hope  is,  that  the 


FOLLIES.  153 

• 

extreme  point  may  be  soon  reached,  and  then, 
as  some  further  change  will  be  indispensable, 
for  the  sake  of  novelty,  if  nothing  else,  good 
sense  may  become  fashionable. 

I  am  fully  aware  of  the  degree  to  which 
I  am  laying  myself  open  to  censure.  The 
charge  of  impertinence  or  of  ministerial  med- 
dling would  not  in  the  least  surprise  me.  It 
may  be  said  that  I  am  talking  of  things  I 
know  nothing  about.  It  may  be  accounted 
absurd  for  one  who  lives  in  almost  complete 
seclusion  from  society,  to  indulge  in  strictures 
upon  it.  But  perhaps  he  who  stands  upon 
the  outside  may  become,  for  that  reason,  a 
more  competent  observer.  In  the  review  of 
an  army,  one  does  not  mingle  in  the  ranks, 
except  for  occasional  inspection,  but  stands 
at  such  a  distance  as  to  see  the  combined 
movement.  You  must  not  be  too  near  an 
edifice,  if  you  would  perceive  its  true  propor- 
tions. With  regard  to  social  customs,  it  re- 
quires only  a  common  faculty  of  observation 
to  know  what  the  world  is ;  and  to  one  who 
is  accustomed  to  judge  of  human  nature 


154  FOLLIES. 

slight  indications  are  enough  to  lead  to  a 
correct  result.  Besides,  I  do  not  speak  as  a 
cynical  philosopher,  who  would  put  sour  into 
every  sweet,  and  frown  upon  enjoyment  mere- 
ly  because  it  is  enjoyed.  I  am  not  a  preacher 
of  gloom  or  of  puritanism,  but  of  modera- 
tion. That  is  all  I  would  ask,  if  I  had  the 
power  to  command.  It  seems  to  me  that  the 
young,  and  sometimes  those  who  are  not 
young,  are  too  thoughtless  in  the  pursuit  of 
pleasure.  Social  enjoyment  degenerates  into 
dissipation,  intellectual  improvement  is  effec- 
tually stopped,  and  deterioration  of  character 
effectually  begun.  Harmless  things  become 
sinful  by  excess,  and  if  in  themselves  not 
harmless,  but  pernicious,  they  become  an  in- 
creasing and  at  last  a  fatal  evil. 

At  least,  no  one  will  deny  that  the  longer 
such  a  course  of  life  is  continued,  and  the 
more  heartily  pursued,  the  less  prepared  one 
must  be  for  the  real  duties  of  woman's  life. 
She  who  lives  on  the  daily  food  of  admira- 
tion, whose  happiness  depends  more  and 
more  upon  the  excitement  of  company,  who 


FOLLIES.  155 

gives  the  greater  part  of  her  time  to  trifles 
light  as  air,  and  expends  money  as  though  it 
cost  no  labor  to  earn  it,  is  in  a  very  bad  prog- 
ress of  self-education.  The  quiet  of  home 
gradually  becomes  distasteful,  the  mind  is  al- 
most incapacitated  for  serious  thought,  habits 
of  extravagance  are  confirmed,  and  false  no- 
tions of  gentility  introduced ;  altogether  af- 
fording not  very  good  promise  of  a  life  of  in- 
dustry, economy,  self-denial,  and  other  homely 
virtues,  without  which  home  itself  becomes 
miserable.  A  single  season  of  such  prepara- 
tion is  a  permanent  injury  to  the  character; 
a,  succession  of  them  for  several  years  is 
enough  to  ruin  almost  any.  A  great  deal 
of  the  unhappiness  of  married  life  is  to  be 
ascribed  to  this  cause  ;  for  the  wife  must 
either  make  a  complete  change  from  the  pre- 
vious mode  of  living  and  in  the  sources  of 
her  enjoyment,  a  change  which,  if  not  com- 
pulsory, requires  more  strength  of  character 
than  the  majority  possess ;  or  she  must  con- 
tinue in  the  same  habits  of  pleasure-seeking, 
thereby  neglecting  her  most  important  duties, 


156  FOLLIES. 

and  exerting  a  bad  influence  over  th  )se  she 
k>ves.  Her  husband  finds  that  the  expense 
of  married  life  is  far  greater  than  he  antici- 
pated, and  the  comfort  less.  He  will  perhaps 
make  the  attempt  to  gain  the  domestic  bliss 
of  which  he  has  read  in  books  ;  but  if  his 
wife  has  no  relish  for  reading,  and  accounts 
a  quiet  and  a  dull  evening  one  and  the  same 
thing,  he  will  probably  soon  yield  the  point, 
if  not  to  her  persuasions,  yet  to  his  own  de- 
sire to  please  her.  He  will,  perhaps,  remain 
at  board  as  long  as  he  can,  to  avoid  the  more 
expensive  parts  of  fashionable  life,  or  enable 
himself  to  meet  them,  but  will  soon  fall  upon 
a  scale  of  expenditure  which  it  demands  his 
utmost  exertions  to  meet.  So  far  as  that 
goes,  great  success  in  business  and  untiring 
industry  may  make  it  right,  and  if  he  obtained 
his  money's  worth,  it  would  be  a  small  mat- 
ter. But  as  the  social  comfort  is  very  apt  to 
become  less  as  the  expenditure  increases ;  as 
he  must  see  that  his  hard  working  on  one 
side  is  only  to  supply  means  of  wastefulness 
on  the  other,  and  that  his  children  are  grow- 


FOLLIES.  157 

ing  up  with  notions  of  life  whi*h  nothing 
but  continued  riches  can  satisfy ;  we  need 
not  wonder  that  fault-finding  and  discontent 
sometimes  prevail.  How  much  better  it 
would  be,  if  young  persons  of  both  sexes 
could  form  habits  of  more  quiet  enjoyment, 
and  learn  to  entertain  more  moderate  expec- 
tations. If  their  minds  were  sufficiently  edu- 
cated to  enjoy  reading  and  rational  conversa- 
tion;  if  the  cheerful  industry  of  the  domestic 
circle  had  a  charm  in  their  eyes  beyond  that 
of  the  theatre  or  ball-room  ;  if  they  knew  the 
value  of  money  when  expended  for  the  poor 
and  suffering,  or  for  the  purchase  of  solid 
comforts  for  themselves  and  others,  —  how 
great  would  be  the  gain  to  the  young  them- 
selves and  to  society  at  large !  how  much 
better  would  the  promise  of  life  become  to 
those  who  trust  their  happiness  to  each  others' 
keeping,  in  the  holy  bonds  of  matrimony! 

Let  the  blame,  as  it  now  stands,  be  equally 
divided,  if  you  please ;  but  my  present  sub- 
ject leads  me  to  say,  that  if  the  fault  co:ild 
be  corrected  on  woman's  side,  her  influence 


158  FOLLIES. 

would  soon  correct  it  on  the  other.  If  the 
young  wife  is  prepared  by  the  graces  of  he* 
character,  as  well  as  of  her  person,  to  make 
the  quiet  hours  pass  pleasantly,  if  her  tastes 
lead  her  to  find  her  own  happiness  at  home, 
her  husband  will  soon  learn  that  his  happi- 
ness is  also  there.  The  pleasures  of  the 
world  would  be  rarely  sought,  because  they 
would  not  be  enjoyed.  Life  would  become 
more  rational,  not  less  cheerful.  It  would 
take  a  higher  tone,  with  which  the  dissipation 
of  fashionable  life  would  produce  an  unpleas- 
ant discord, — to  be  introduced  perhaps  occa- 
sionally as  a  discord  into  music,  that  it  may 
ie  speedily  resolved  by  a  return  to  the  social 
harmony.  Who  will  deny  that  it  would  be 
a  change  for  the  better  ?  But  the  only  thing 
needed  to  effect  it  is  a  change  of  taste,  of 
character,  in  those  whom  the  change  would 
benefit. 

May  I,  therefore,  in  bringing  my  present 
discourse  toward  a  conclusion,  make  some  sug- 
gestions to  those  whom  I  now  chiefly  address, 
not  so  much  with  the  view  of  giving  instruc- 


FOLLIES.  159 

tion  as  of  exciting  thought.  For  this  is  the 
great  trouble.  There  is  no  danger  of  their 
coming  to  a  wrong  decision,  if  they  can  only 
be  aroused  to  the  necessity  of  thinking  for 
themselves,  and  of  acting  under  a  sense  of 
their  individual  responsibility  to  God. 

I  would  urge  them,  therefore,  in  the  first 
place,  to  have  some  general  plan  of  life.  Let 
there  be  a  fixed  purpose  of  intellectual  and 
moral  improvement.  Do  not  let  one  week 

after  another  pass,  until  the  whole  year  is  gone, 

< 

under  influences  of  which  you  scarcely  know 
whether  they  are  good  or  bad.  Let  a  part  of 
each  day  be  given  to  reading,  and  let  a  part 
of  the  reading  be  diligent  study.  Take  pains 
to  form  habits  of  industry,  and  do  not  be 
afraid  of  bodily  exercise.  Remember  that  time 
is  a  precious  gift,  for  which  you  are  responsi- 
ble to  God.  If  wasted,  your  mind,  your  soul, 
is  wasted  with  it. 

Be  not  blind  followers  of  fashion.  To  some 
extent  you  must  undoubtedly  yield  to  its  im- 
perious demands;  but  conscience  has  its  de- 
mands also.  There  is  a  right  and  wrong  in 


160  FOLLIES. 

fashion,  as  in  e  /ery  thing  else.  The  most  del- 
icate sense  of  modesty  should  not  be  violated, 
if  all  the  fashionists  of  Paris  and  all  the  dan- 
cing-masters of  Europe  were  to  demand  it. 
Poetry  tells  us  that  "  the  chariest  maid  is  prod- 
igal enough,  if  she  unveil  her  beauties  to  the 
moon,"  and  the  older  she  grows,  —  particu- 
larly if  the  maiden  becomes  a  wife,  —  the  less 
of  poetry  and  the  more  of  truth  do  the  lines 
contain.  Simplicity  of  taste  is  generally  good 
taste,  and  extravagance  always  tends  to  vul- 
garity. Eagerness  for  display  shows  want  of 
self-respect.  With  regard  to  apparel,  there- 
fore, it  is  a  good  rule,  that,  as  to  costliness,  too 
little  is  better  than  too  much  ;  and  as  to  quan- 
tity, too  much  is  better  than  too  little. 

Be  not  devotees  of  pleasure.  There  is  no 
harm  in  mirth  or  in  laughter,  and  where  there 
is  a  healthy  flow  of  spirits,  they  must  have 
vent ;  but  they  do  not  the  less  need  whole- 
some restraint  and  judicious  direction.  The 
exercise  of  a  discriminating  conscience  is  no- 
where needed  more  than  in  the  choice  of  our 
amusements,  and  in  determining  their  limits. 


FOLLIES.  1< 

Every  woman  and  every  man  should  make  i1 
a  question,  not  only  of  pleasantness  and  CUP 
torn,  but  of  right  and  wrong,  what  amuse* 
ments  are  to  be  selected,  and  how  far  and  i* 
what  way  to  be  followed.  I  speak  somewhs^ 
ignorantly  here,  but  I  suppose  that  every  youn; 
lad},  upon  her  first  entering  society,  sees  man* 
things  to  shock  her  sense  of  propriety,  but  te- 
which  she  gradually  becomes  accustomed  and 
which  she  soon  learns  to  adopt.  It  would  be 
better  if  the  tenderness  of  conscience  could  be 
kept,  even  at  the  risk  of  seeming  demure. 

If  we  could  remove  from  popular  amuse- 
ments and  from  fashionable  modes  of  enter- 
tainment, every  thing  objectionable,  greater 
moderation  would  probably  be  exercised  in 
their  pursuit.  I  am  told  by  those  who  seem 
to  know,  that  few  persons  become  very  fond 
of  cards,  or  other  games  of  chance,  unless  the 
excitement  of  loss  and  gain  is  added ;  not  so 
much  because  they  care  for  the  money,  as  for 
the  excitement  itself.  And  so  with  many  oth- 
er things,  a  certain  degree  of  impropriety,  a 
dash  of  wrong,  seems  to  add  zest  to  the  amuse- 
11 


162  FOLLIES. 

ment.  The  questionable  character  of  a  dance 
seems  to  give  it  a  preference  over  other  modes 
of  the  same  amusement  which  are  certainly 
harmless.  The  masquerade,  which,  even  if  it 
were  harmless  at  first,  is  acknowledged  to  be 
peculiarly  open  to  abuse,  and  in  itself  one  of 
the  most  dangerous  amusements  in  a  commu- 
nity so  mixed  and  excitable  as  ours,  almost 
immediately  becomes  fashionable,  although,  I 
hope,  not  permanently  so.  The  wrong  allu- 
sions to  which  the  drama  frequently  descends, 
and  stage  exhibitions,  the  propriety  of  which 
is  more  than  doubtful,  are  often  greeted  with 
most  hearty  applause.  It  is  not,  I  suppose, 
that  in  these  things  there  is  a  deliberate  seek- 
ing for  wrong,  but,  like  the  bread  eaten  in  se- 
cret, the  hesitation  which  conscience  excites 
and  the  flutter  of  the  feelings  produce  an  ex- 
citement ol  the  whole  nature,  and  give  one 
something  like  the  feeling  of  daring  and  victo- 
ry, together  with  the  laughter  and  the  mirth. 
The  longing  after  forbidden  things  is  not  con- 
fined to  children,  and  what  a  scrupulous  con 
science  forbids,  if  not  with  a  stern  but  a  ques- 


FOLLIES.  163 

tioning  voice,  is  sometimes  all  the  more  fresh- 
ly enjoyed.  It  is  an  element  in  human  nature, 
until  purified  by  religion,  of  which  we  have  no 
reason  to  be  proud,  and  it  should  make  us 
very  careful  in  the  choice  of  our  pleasures. 
For  as  the  palate  becomes  used  to  stimulants 
and  spices,  and  continually  requires  a  stronger 
infusion,  so  will  one  pleasure  after  another 
seem  tame  and  a  higher  relish  be  required. 
We  need,  therefore,  a  great  deal  of  self-watch- 
fulnpss.  I  know  too  little  of  such  subjects  to 
enter  into  detail,  but  it  is  safe  to  take  this  gen- 
eral rule,  that,  in  all  questionable  cases,  it  is 
better  to  give  the  benefit  of  the  doubt  to  mod- 
esty and  a  tender  conscience. 

Finally :  the  givers  of  advice  are  proverbi- 
ally loquacious,  and  I  will  conclude  abruptly, 
although  -not  easier  to  do  so  than  it  would 
have  been  a  half-hour  ago.  The  correctnrss 
of  my  remarks  may  be  called  into  question  ; 
but  this  would  not  disturb  me.  I  desire,  as  I 
have  repeatedly  said,  not  so  much  to  direct 
your  thoughts,  as  to  excite  them.  Where 
there  is  a  general  good  intention,  as  I  presume 


164  FOLLIES. 

there  is  with  all  who  hear  me,  to  think  at  all 
upon  such  subjects  is  to  think  correctly.  A 
great  deal  of  what  has  been  said  is  applicable 
to  one  sex  as  well  as  the  other,  and  a  part  of 
the  time  I  have  been  preaching  to  myself,  not 
less  than  to  you.  We  should  all  be  seekers 
together  for  that  wisdom  "  which  guides  the 
young,  with  innocence,  in  pleasure's  path  to 
tread "  ;  we  should  remember  that  life  is  a 
reality,  upon  which  eternal  realities  depend. 
The  best  adorning,  therefore,  even  to  the  young 
and  beautiful,  is  not  that  of  worldly  elegance, 
"  but  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit,  which  is  in  the 
sight  of  God  of  great  price." 


LECTURE    VI. 


WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

"Let  your  light  so  shine  before  men,  that  they  may  see  your  good 
works,  and  glorify  your  Father  which  is  hi  heaven."  —  Matthew  v.  16. 

MY  object  this  evening  will  be  to  show  the 
relation  which  woman  holds  to  morality  and 
religion.  I  shall  attempt  to  prove  that  she  is 
bound,  not  only  by  a  general  sense  of  duty, 
but  by  peculiar  obligations,  to  promote  those 
great  interests,  both  directly  and  indirectly,  by 
every  means  in  her  power. 

It  needs  but  little  consideration  to  see  that 
her  own  interests,  individually  and  as  a  sex, 
are  in  fact  inseparable  from  those  of  which  I 
speak.  Whenever  she  speaks  a  word  against 
them,  whenever  she  does  any  thing,  either  de- 
liberately or  carelessly,  to  their  prejudice,  she 
becomes  her  own  worst  enemy.  Similar  re- 


166  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

marks  may  indeed  apply  to  man ;  for  we  all 
gain  in  comfort  and  happiness  by  the  ad- 
vancement of  the  highest  interests  of  society; 
but  although  true  of  all,  it  is  particularly  true 
of  woman. 

Her  whole  dignity,  even  her  respectability, 
depends  upon  the  degree  of  her  virtue.  She 
is  made  the  equal  and  helpmeet  of  man  much 
more  by  her  moral  qualities  than  by  those 
which  are  purely  intellectual.  Her  mind,  pu- 
rified by  communion  with  Heaven,  elevated 
by  strong  and  self-denying  affections,  rises  to 
an  equality,  often  to  more  than  equality,  with 
that  of  the  profoundest  scholar  or  the  wisest 
philosopher.  But  her  road  to  this  eminence  is 
seldom  through  the  regions  of  abstract  thought 
or  abstruse  inquiry,  which  she  seldom  enjoys 
and  for  which  the  ordinary  occupations  of  her 
life  afford  but  little  opportunity.  To  a  few 
women,  now  and  then,  at  long  intervals  in  the 
world's  history,  the  opportunity  and  ability 
are  given  of  rising  to  fame  and  honor  inde- 
pendently of  those  qualities  which  adorn  her 
moral  character ;  but  such  instances  are  rare, 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  167 

and  when  they  occur,  fail  to  excite  admiration. 
Generally  speaking,  they  are  lowered  in  our 
respect  by  the  apparent  exaltation. 

Men  may  command  a  certain  degree  of  re- 
spect, and  may  rise  to  a  great  height  of  world 
ly  dignity,  although  depraved  in  character.  I 
am  speaking  now  of  the  world  as  it  is,  not  as 
it  ought  to  be  ;  and  the  history  of  our  own 
land,  as  well  as  every  other,  proves  what  I 
say.  A  man  may  command  admiration  as  a 
scholar  or  as  a  statesman,  as  historian,  poet, 
or  novelist ;  his  fame  may  be  so  extended  that 
his  writings  are  found  on  every  table,  and  his 
name  on  every  tongue,  although  he  himself 
may  be  notoriously  a  bad  man  and  his  works 
confessedly  impure. 

We  might  give  many  instances,  if  needful, 
in  proof  of  this  assertion  ;  but  your  own  mem- 
ory will  supply  them.  We  do  not  say  that 
one  can  rise  to  the  highest  eminence  under 
such  conditions,  or  that  his  fame- will  be  of  the 
most  enduring  kind;  for  I  believe  that,  almost 
without  exception,  the  SHAKSPEARES  and  MIL- 
TONS  and  NEWTONS  are  men  who  in  their 


168  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

lives  have  been  pure,  and  in  their  writings 
advocates  of  goodness.  But  still,  there  are 
the  BYRONS  and  VOLTAIRES  and  a  hundred 
others,  more  than  enough  to  prove  my  asser- 
tion. Distinguished  men  are  tried,  at  the  bar 
of  public  opinion,  too  much  by  the  laws  of 
intellect,  and  too  little  by  those  of  morality 
But  to  women  a  stricter  rule  is  applied 
[What  would  become  of  the  fame  of  Miss 
EDGEWORTH,  Mrs.  OPIE,  or  HANNAH  MORE,  if 
you  divest  their  works  of  a  pure  moral  tone, 
or  their  characters  of  good  moral  principles  ?  j 
Can  you  imagine  a  female  author  to  occupy 
a  position  (like  that  of  STERNE,  or  SWIFT,  or 
even  like  that  of  HUME,  or  GIBBON?  What 
influence  would  they  have,  and  what  degree 
of  respect  would  they  command  ?  Let  the 
names  of  FRANCES  WRIGHT,  recently  dead,  or 
of  Madame  GEORGE  SAND,  still  living,  a  by- 
word and  an  astonishment,  give  a  sufficient 
answer.  The  pages  of  biography  give  no  in- 
stance of  more  complete  or  sad  disappoint- 
ment in  life,  than  that  experienced  by  her 
whom  I  have  just  named  as  having  recently 


169 

died.  I  remember  her  distinctly  when  she  first 
came  to  this  country,  the  daughter  of  a  noble 
family  in  Scotland,  and  received  with  cordial 
hospitality  at  the  seat  of  government,  by  those 
whose  friendship  conferred  distinction.  I  re- 
member her  tall  and  commanding  presence 
and  her  keen  intellectual  glance,  not  quite 
womanly,  perhaps,  but  full  of  vigor,  and  awa- 
kening thought  in  those  to  whom  it  was  di- 
rected. She  came  in  company  with  the  great 
LA  FAYETTE,  and  for  a  time  divided  with  him 
the  public  attention.  She  gave  promise  of 
rising  to  the  highest  fame,  and  our  country 
began  to  congratulate  itself  at  her  coming. 
But  her  mind  was  already  divorced  from  re- 
ligious faith  ;  she  hoped  to  be  wiser  than  the 
Gospel,  and  to  reorganize  society  under  laws 
of  less  restraint;  and  although  her  general  pur- 
pose seems  to  have  been  good,  her  whole  life 
became  a  mistake,  a  sadness,  and  a  loss.  She 
accomplished  nothing  that  she  had  hoped  to 
accomplish  ;  her  fame  passed  into  unenviable 
notoriety;  she  became  a  warning,  instead  of 
an  example,  to  her  sex,  and  at  last,  although 


170  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

possessed  of  great  property  by  inheritance,  she 
died  among  strangers,  with  no  kindred  hand 
to  close  her  eyes,  and  the  place  which  once 
knew  her  shall  know  her  no  more  for  ever.jjSo 
strict  is  the  standard  by  which  woman's  fame 
is  measured.  The  first  requisition  is  that  she 
shall  stand  upon  the  side  of  virtue  and  religion, 
or  her  fame  becomes  infamy,  and  her  name  a 
reproach.  |  No  degree  of  talent  will  save  her 
from  it,  and  even  her  mistakes,  though  well 
intended,  if  they  place  her  in  opposition  to  the 
great  interests  of  society,  are  visited  upon  her 
as  crimes.  1 

In  the  more  private  circles  of  life,  also,  moral 
delinquency  is  punished  with  greater  sternness 
in  woman  than  in  man.  This  proceeds,  in 
part,  from  the  fact,  that  men  make  the  laws 
and  fix  public  opinion,  and  are  therefore  more 
lenient  to  their  own  sins ;  perhaps  because 
they  better  understand  their  own  temptations, 
and  perhaps  because  it  is  always  easier  to  see 
the  mote  in  another's  eye,  than  the  beam  in 
one's  own.  It  is  a  difference,  therefore,  caused 
partly  by  selfishness,  and  is  in  so  far  unjust 


171 

We  have  a  right  to  complain  and  we  do 
complain  of  the  injustice,  when  woman  is 
trampled  under  foot  and  shut  out  from  all 
possible  return  to  a  good  life,  and  almost 
from  the  hope  of  salvation,  for  the  same  sins 
that  are  easily  excused  in  man.  But  we  be- 
lieve that  the  apparent  injustice  proceeds  also 
in  part  from  the  difference  in  the  natural  ele- 
ments of  the  male  and  female  character,  and 
sometimes  the  greater  severity  of  which  we 
speak  is  indicative  of  grperte^^s^pfcc^ 
woman's  moral  nature, 


A  good  woman  is  the  equfc 
I  do  not  mean  by  offsetting  the"* 
qualities  of  the  one  against  the  higher  intel- 
lectual qualities  of  the  other;  but  her  pure 
and  moral  nature,  when  rightly  cultivated, 
elevates  and  ennobles  the  intellectual,  and 
gives  her  a  clearness  of  thought,  an  accuracy 
of  judgment,  and  a  comprehensiveness  of  un- 
derstanding, which  place  her  fairly  upon  a 
level  with  the  highest.  We  need  not,  there- 
fore, be  surprised  at  the  saying  of  an  eminent 


172  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

statesman,  that  he  had  never  taken  a  wrong 
course  in  public  affairs,  when  he  had  first  asked 
his  wife's  opinion  concerning  it.  He  found 
her  conclusion  generally  correct,  even  when 
she  could  not  tell  the  exact  premises  from 
which  derived.  Perhaps  many  of  us  who  are 
not  statesmen  would  gain  by  similar  consul- 
tation with  those  whom  we  now  scarcely  con- 
descend to  inform  whether  we  are  rich  or 
poor,  and  whom  we  seldom  allow  to  share 
our  more  serious  thoughts.  There  would  be 
a  great  many  less  failures  in  business,  and  a 
great  deal  less  wildness  of  speculation,  if  all 
to  whom  Providence  has  given  good  wives 
could  also  obtain  wisdom  enough  to  advise 
with  them  in  the  conduct  of  their  affairs.  For 
a  sensible  woman  will  generally  advise  mod- 
eration, and  will  readily  consent  to  a  diminu- 
tion of  luxury  or  comfort,  rather  than  have 
her  husband  a  slave  to  business,  or  engaged 
in  pursuits  which  his  judgment  declares  un- 
safe, or  his  conscience  wrong.  The  wife  ia 
very  often  guilty  of  great  extravagance,  be- 
cause ignorant  of  the  cost  at  which  it  is  main- 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  173 

tained.  She  does  not  know  the  wear  and 
tear  of  mind  and  conscience  to  which  the 
splendor  of  the  household  often  subjects  those 
who  support  it.  It  would,  therefore,  be  a 
great  gain  to  both  parties,  if  she  were  more 
fully  informed,  where  she  is  so  deeply  inter- 
ested. Let  the  husband  treat  her  as  his  equal 
and  he  will  find  that  she  is  fully  so. 

But,  on  the  other  hand,  an  indifferent  01 
bad  woman  does  not  rise  to  the  poor  equality 
with  an  indifferent  or  bad  man.  Little  as 
may  be  our  respect  for  a  man  without  good 
principles,  a  woman  without  good  principles 
•  deserves  and  will  receive  less.  We  do  not 
mean  that  her  sin  before  God  is  greater,  but 
that  her  present  degradation  is  more  deep. 
The  sin  of  every  departure  from  right  is  im- 
mutably the  same,  whether  by  man  or  woman, 
by  the  monarch  or  the  beggar,  by  the  scholar 
or  the  clown  ;  or  we  should  rather  say,  it  is 
varied  in  degree  only  by  the  strength  of  temp- 
tation, the  power  of  resistance,  and  other  cir- 
cumstances  of  which  God  alone  can  judge 
correctly ;  and  under  this  judgment,  woman 


174  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

may  deserve  the  lighter  sentence  as  often  as 
man.     But  man  is  composed  of  harsher  ma- 
terial, and  the  stain  left  by  sin,  though  equally 
deep,   is    not   equally  evident.     As   a   st 
made  of. granite  or  freestone  seems  uninjured    I 
by  the  handling,  when  the  marble  is  soiled  by      A 
the   dust  falling  on   it,  and   stained   by   the 
lightest  touch,  so  with  the  nature  of  woman  ; 
her  organization  is  the  more  delicate,  and  by         > 
BO  much  the  more  her  worth  depends  upon 
keeping  that  delicacy  unimpaired.     She  lives 
more  in  her  affections,  and  by  so  much  the 
more  they  must  be  kept  pure  and  generous,  to 
secure  either  her  happiness  or  the  beauty  of        4 
her   character.     By   goodness    and   truth,    by 
modesty  and  a  gentle  demeanor,  she  becomes, 
in  the  performance  of  her  humblest  duties,  an 
object  of  admiration  ;  in  the  lowliest  sphere 

worthy   of  the    highest   honor.     But   sin   de- 

t 

stroys  her  utterly.  It  seems  to  leave  noth- 
ing in  her  to  love  or  respect.  Every  wrong 
thought,  every  deviation  from  modesty,  every 
unladylike  or  unwomanly  action,  every  selfish 
or  worldly  pursuit,  degrades  her  in  mind,  in 


j 

v 


175 

heart,  in  character.  No  strength  of  intellect, 
no  mental  accomplishments,  no  scholar-like 
attainments,  much  less  can  beauty  and  ele- 
gance and  a  fashionable  manner,  compensate 
for  the  loss.  Woman's  only  strength  is  in  her 
mnraj  f>Yr^l]f»pr»P  She  cannot  find  her  true 
dignity  apart  from  goodness.  That  is  the 
only  means  by  which  'she  can  obtain  the  re- 
spect and  consideration  on  which  her  happi- 
ness depends. 

Again,  she  has  a  great  deal  at  stake  in  the 
moral  and  religious  character  of  the  comma-          ** 
nity   where   she   lives.     The   regard    paid   to   *  ' 

woman  in  society  depends  very  much  upon 
the  standard  of  public  morality.  If  she  wishes 
to  be  more  highly  respected,  and  her  claims 
to  be  more  justly  considered,  her  best  means 
of  accomplishing  it  is  to  labor  for  the  general 
diffusion  of  knowledge,  refinement,  and  virtue. 
So  true  is  this,  that  you  may  measure  the 
moral  elevation  of  a  community  by  the  esti? 
mation  in  which  woman  is  held.  As  we  look 
over  the  different  nations  of  the  earth,  we 
cannot  find  a  single  exception  to  this  rule. 


le. 
he\ 
ti,  \ 


176  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

Learn  the  manner  in  which  woman  is  re- 
garded, and  you  can  tell  the  standard  of  mo- 
rality, of  refinement,  of  general  intelligence. 
Of  course  we  do  not  now  refer  to  her  treat- 
ment in  courts  and  palaces,  but  to  the  place 
she  is  allowed  to  hold  in  social  life  generally. 
Nor  do  we  mean  by  respectful  treatment  the 
deferential  bowing  and  complimentary  salu- 
tations, in  which  the  most  heartless  profligates 
are  sometimes  most  profuse;  but  we  mean 
the  genuine  respect  which  leads  to  justice  and 
generosity  in  our  treatment  of  woman,  to 
giving  her  the  protection  which  is  her  due,  to 
providing  for  her  proper  means  of  education, 
to  placing  her  in  all  things  in  the  honorable 
position  to  which  she  has  a  rightful  claim. 
In  proportion  as  we  become  civilized,  in  pro- 
portion as  man  rises  to  the  knowledge  of  his 
spiritual  wants  and  interests,  in  proportion  as 
he  becomes  wise  and  good,  this  treatment 
is  extended  to  her.  The  Christian  religion 
proves  itself  to  be  that  of  the  highest  civil- 
ization by  this  as  much  as  by  any  thing 
else,  the  position  in  social  life  which  it 


awards  to  her.  Therefore,  if  she  would  be  a 
friend  of  her  own  sex,  if  she  understands  her 
own  highest  interests,  it  should  be  her  prime 
object  to  exert  all  her  influence  in  the  promo- 
tion of  truth  and  righteousness. 

Again,  we  are  led  to  the  same  result,  be- 
cause the  consequences  of  all  wicked  customs 
in  society  affect  women  more  nearly  than 
men.  Even  where  man  is  the  greater  sinner, 
woman  is  the  greater  sufferer.  She  is  physi- 
cally the  weaker,  and  the  strength  of  man,  if 
unrestrained  by  principle,  compels  her  to  sub- 
mit to  insult  and  suffering.  She  is  confined 
to  the  narrow  limits  of  home,  and  is  there 
subject  to  petulance,  anger,  and  unreasonable 
demands,  and  even  to  vile  treatment,  from 
men  who  are  stupid  enough  to  feel  themselves, 
and  sometimes  brutish  enough  to  call  them- 
selves, her  masters.  In  a  community  where 
licentiousness  prevails,  where  dissipation  is 
fashionable,  and  the  dramshop  a  place  of  daily 
resort,  you  may  see  disorder  and  contention 
in  the  streets,  and  evidences  enough  of  the 
prevailing  corruption  may  meet  your  eye  and 
12 


1*78  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

ear :  but  if  you  would  know  the  worst,  follow 
the  drunkard  to  his  home;  see  his  children 
shrink  away  from  his  approach ;  see  his  wife 
weeping  for  herself  and  for  them,  but  thought- 
ful of  him,  receiving  him  with  kindness,  but 
repaid  with  a  curse  or  a  blow,  —  bound  to  him 
even  in  his  degraded  state,  by  an  amazing 
fondness,  which  makes  her  at  once  his  victim 
and  his  slave.  If  the  wife  is  unreasonable  and 
wicked,  the  husband  may  escape  from  her,  and 
in  active  pursuits  of  industry  or  the  gay  com- 
panionship of  the  world  find  partial  relief. 
But  for  her  there  is  no  retreat,  no  escape,  nay, 
the  very  nobleness  of  her  nature  and  the  dis- 
interestedness of  her  affections  sometimes  pre- 
vent her  from  accepting  deliverance,  if  offered ; 
and  through  the  long,  dreary  day,  with  perse- 
vering care  and  decreasing  means,  she  is  com- 
pelled to  labor  in  sorrow  of  heart,  in  mortifica- 
tion of  soul,  until  the  closing  hours  bring  back 
the  suffering. 

It  is  one  of  the  great  mysteries  of  Providence 
that  the  sins  of  the  guilty  are  visited  on  the 
innocent;  and  therefore,  if  woman  would  be 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  179 

happy,  it  is  not  enough  to  be  pure  and  good 
herself,  she  must  strive  to  promote  purity  and 
goodness  among  those  with  whom  her  lot  is 
cast,  and  in  society  at  large.  She  can  escape 
from  servitude  and  suffering  only  when  men 
become  worthy  of  loving  her,  and  herself  wor- 
thy of  being  loved. 

The  social  interests  of  women  are  therefore 
inseparable  from  those  of  good  order  and  so-     v 
cial  morality;  still  more  are  they  inseparable    A 
from  religion.      I  believe  that,  if  she  under-   >^ 
stands  her  own  nature  or  her  own  interests, 
she  will  be  religious  herself  and  do  all  she  can 
to  promote  religion. 

In  the  first  place,  she  is  herself  led  to  a  re- 
ligious life  by  the  natural  tendency  of  her  af- 
fections. Her  nature  disposes  her  to  trust,  to 
confide,  to  believe,  to  hope.  Doubt  and  dis- 
trust are, painful  to  her,  and  she  is  happier  to 
believe  without  evidence  than  not  to  believe 
at  all.  The  strength  of  her  affections  and  the 
irrepressible  yearning  of  her  heart  for  those 
that  are  dead ;  the  consciousness  of  inexhaus- 
tible fountains  of  love  in  her  soul,  which  time 


180  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

has  only  opened,  when  death  comes  to  close 
them  ;  the  tenderness  of  her  3onscience,  and,  in 
short,  the  whole  construction  of  her  mind  and 
heart,  make  it  pleasant  for  her  to  receive  the 
doctrines  of  life  and  immortality  brought  to 
light.  She  more  easily  perceives  the  obliga- 
tion and  the  glory  of  self-sacrifice.  She  trusts 
in  God  because  she  loves  to  trust.  She  wor- 
ships him  because  she  loves  to  revere.  When 
she  explores  the  unknown  depths  of  her  heart, 
unknown  even  to  herself,  she  cannot  believe 
that  those  whom  she  loves  so  much  shall  per- 
ish for  ever  because  their  frail  bodies  die,  and 
although  her  mind  may  listen  to  the  whisper- 
ing voice  of  doubt,  her  heart  is  strong  enough 
to  silence  or  to  overrule  it. 

Sceptical  men  sometimes  scoff  at  religion, 
by  saying  that  the  majority  of  believers  are 
women ;  but  they  prove,  thereby,  the  folly  of 
their  own  hearts,  rather  than  the  depth  of  their 
understanding.  The  tendency  of  woman's  na- 
ture to  religion  is  her  best  praise.  It  is  not 
because  she  is  unable  to  think,  but  because 
she  is  compelled  to  feel.  Her  mind  is  capable 


181 

of  discerning  the  verbal  objections  and  the 
more  serious  difficulties,  on  account  of  which 
religion  is  rejected  by  so  many ;  but  they  all 
sink  into  insignificance,  compared  with  the 
infinite  consolation  which  religion  gives ;  they 
all  fade  away  under  the  necessity,  which  her 
heart  creates,  of  a  God  in  whom  she  can  trust, 
of  a  Redeemer  in  whom  she  can  hope,  of  a 
heaven  where  her  loved  ones  dwell. 

Religious  scepticism  is  not  the  proof  of  a 
strong  mind.  Recall  the  names  of  the  great- 
est and  wisest  men  that  ever  lived,  and  almost 
without  exception  their  authority  is  on  the 
side  of  religion.  CONFUCIUS  and  ZOROASTER, 
HOMER  and  SOCRATES  and  PLATO,  VIRGIL  and 
CICERO  and  TACITUS,  together  with  nearly  all 
of  whom  ancient  history  speaks  as  the  heroes 
of  the  race,  the  benefactors  of  mankind,  were 
confirmed  believers  in  religious  truth,  accord- 
ing to  the  best  light  that  God  gave  to  them. 
There  is  scarcely  an  exception,  among  all 
whose  names  history  has  thought  worth  pre- 
serving. In  more  modern  times,  how  many 
of  the  most  acute  metaphysicians,  the  most 


182 

enlightened  statesmen,  the  most  thorough 
scholars,  may  be  named  as  defenders  of  the 
Christian  faith !  In  our  own  country  the  tes- 
timony of  the  wise  and  good  in  favor  of  re- 
ligion is  peculiarly  strong.  Nearly  all  of  our 
statesmen,  nearly  all  of  our  best  writers  and 
of  our  first  poets  and  philanthropists,  have 
been  men  of  religion;  while  among  those  who 
have  devoted  themselves  exclusively  to  relig- 
ious things,  as  the  study  of  their  lives,  are 
numbered  not  a  few  of  the  best  minds  the 
world  has  ever  produced.  The  corrupt  age  of 
Charles  the  Second  and  the  troubled  times  of 
the  French  Revolution  produced  sceptics  by 
the  hundred,  and  they  flattered  themselves,  no 
doubt,  that  a  death-blow  had  been  given  to 
the  religion  of  Christ;  but  the  result  has  falsi- 
fied their  predictions,  and  although  the  world 
listened  to  their  arguments  and  was  for  a  time 
shaken  in  belief,  the  tendency  of  strong  minds 
has  been  a  return  to  religion,  and  "wisdom  is 
mstified  of  her  children."  Take  the  world's 
history  through,  and  scepticism  shows  but  a 
poor  array  of  strength.  If  we  can  learn  any 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  183 

thing  from  observation,  or  if  the  philosophy  of 
the  mind  proves  any  thing,  then  may  we  con- 
fidently say,  that  infidelity  is  the  proof  either 
of  a  bad  heart  or  a  badly  balanced  intellect. 
The  strong  mind  yearns  after  eternal  truth. 
The  noble  heart  is  not  satisfied  with  things 
that  perish. 

The  tendency  of  woman's  nature  to  religion 
is  therefore  a  witness  in  her  own  favor,  and 
not  against  that  in  which  she  believes.  Those 
same  scoffing  men  of  the  world,  who  pride 
themselves  on  doubt,  as  if  it  were  the  pro- 
foundest,  instead  of  a  superficial  exercise  of 
the  mind,  are  ready  enough,  when  trouble  and 
bereavement  and  sickness  and  death  come 
near  them,  to  seek  shelter  under  the  religion 
which  was  before  an  object  of  scorn;  thereby 
proving  that  they  were  kept  from  being  re- 
ligious, not  by  their  vigor  of  intellect,  but  by 
the  strength  of  their  passions.  They  show  the 
superiority  of  their  nature,  by  waiting  until 
the  storm  drives  them,  with  torn  sails  and  a 
shattered  vessel,  to  the  safe  harborage  of  Faith, 
instead  of  anticipating  the  tempest  and  saving 
themselves  from  loss. 


184  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

Again,  as  it  is  always  true  that  our  best  in- 
terests are  secured  by  following  our  best  im- 
pulses, so  is  it  with  woman,  when  she  becomes 
the  advocate  of  religion.  The  moral  qualities 
for  which  she  is  chiefly  honored  receive  their 
highest  value,  not  from  worldly  considerations, 
but  from  their  relation  to  eternity.  It  is  be- 
cause we  hope  to  live  hereafter,  that  purity 
and  gentleness  and  love  are  highly  esteemed. 
The  character  which  is  made  strong  by  the 
affections  is  prized,  because  the  affections  will 
find  their  best  development  in  the  world  to 
come.  The  majority  of  men  pride  themselves 
on  their  superior  strength  and  their  better 
adaptation  to  the  rough  uses  of  this  world ; 
but  the  more  intelligent  overlook  such  consid- 
erations, because  the  entrance  on  a  future  life 
will  equalize  them  all,  and  the  soul,  whether 
of  man  or  woman,  which  is  purest  in  its  life 
and  noblest  in  its  faith,  will  stand  nearest  to 
God.  Hence  it  is,  that  religious  men  are  al- 
ways the  most  forward  to  admit  the  claims 
and  maintain  the  rights  of  woman.  In  a  com- 
munity of  sceptics  and  infidels,  she  is  sure  to 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  185 

% 
be  treated   either   as    a    plaything   for  man's 

amusement,  or  a  servant  for  his  convenience. 
Men  have  the  power  in  their  own  hands  and 
must  always  have  it,  and,  unless  they  are  re- 
strained in  its  exertion  by  religious  sympathy, 
and  directed  by  religious  principle,  they  are 
sure  to  abuse  it  in  their  treatment  of  the 
weaker  sex.  This  is  true  of  individuals,  and 
still  more  true  of  communities. 

When,  therefore,  I  meet  a  sceptical  woman, 
or  hear  her  express  opinions  derogatory  to  re- 
ligion, I  feel  like  saying  to  her,  either  your 
mind  is  most  unfortunately  constituted,  or 
you  do  not  know  on  what  your  happiness 
depends.  If  she  is  so  foolish  as  to  affect  a 
masculine  style  of  thought,  thinking  to  evince 
by  scepticism  superiority  to  her  sex,  she  is 
giving  sufficient  evidence  of  a  weak  mind  and 
narrow  heart.  An  unbelieving  woman  is  an 
anomaly,  a  contradiction  in  terms,  and,  al- 
though her  character  may  be  masculine,  you 
will  rarely  find  her  intellect  strong. 

In  Christian  lands  gratitude  alone  should 
bind  her  to  religion  as  her  best  protection  and 


186  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

0 
defence.     The  Mohammedan  prizes  his  horse 

higher  than  his  wife,  and  the  prophet  himself 
could  find  no  place  in  heaven  for  her  whom 
he  admitted  to  be  the  chiefest  adornment  of 
earth.  But  the  religion  of  the  Bible,  and  es- 
pecially of  the  New  Testament,  breathes  a 
different  spirit.  Jesus  found  woman  degraded, 
and  stretched  out  his  hand  for  her  protection. 
When  the  severities  of  the  Mosaic  law  were 
pointed  out  for  his  approval,  he  said,  "  In  the 
beginning  it  was  not  so."  He  taught  that 
"  a  man  should  leave  father  and  mother  and 
cleave  unto  his  wife,"  thereby  declaring  that 
the  relationship  of  marriage  is  the  most  sacred 
of  all  human  ties.  He  taught  what  was  a 
new  revelation  to  the  world,  that  all  souls 
are  equally  precious  in  the  sight  of  God ; 
nor  is  there  any  thing  more  conspicuous  in 
his  history  than  the  careful  respect  with  which 
the  women  of  the  Gospel  were  treated. 
Wherever  his  religion  is  received,  its  first  in- 
fluence is  to  elevate  her  and  defend  her  from 
oppression. 

We  might  enlarge  indefinitely  upon  these 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  187 

topics ;  but  more  than  enough  has  been  said 
to  show  that  every  woman  is  bound,  by  her 
self-respect  and  by  her  desire  for  the  respect 
of  others,  by  the  principles  of  her  nature  and 
by  her  social  interests,  by  her  own  sense  of 
duty  and  by  allegiance  to  her  sex,  to  devote 
herself,  heart,  soul,  mind,  and  strength,  to 
promote  the  cause  of  true  religion  and  pure 
morality.  Thus  will  she  best  work  for  the 
glory  of  God,  and  at  the  same  time  most 
effectually  elevate  herself  to  the  place  in  so- 
ciety for  which  God  designed  her.  It  may 
be  well  enough  for  her,  if  she  has  a  fancy  for 
it,  to  declaim  about  her  rights,  and  to  hold 
conventions  for  the  removal  of  her  civil  dis- 
abilities ;  for  we  do  not  deny  that  she  has 
had  in  time  past,  or  that  she  has  now,  many 
causes  of  just  complaint.  But  the  wrong  can 
be  made  right,  not  by  altering  here  and  there 
a  law,  but  only  by  the  progress  of  true  civili- 
zation. As  men  become  better  and  wiser 
and  more  religious,  woman  will  have  con- 
tinually less  cause  of  complaint. 

It  was  my  intention  to  speak  in  this  dis- 


188 

course  of  woman's  duties  towards  the  poor 
and  suffering;  but  I  have  said  so  much  on 
other  topics,  that  I  can  say  nothing  on  this. 
It  is  an  important  subject,  which  has  never 
been  treated  as  carefully  as  it  deserves.  The 
poor  will  never  be  properly  provided  for  until 
they  are  placed  more  directly  under  woman's 
care.  Poor-laws,  almshouses,  and  commit- 
tees of  men  are  useful  in  their  place,  but 
charity  is  doubly  blest  when  administered  by 
woman's  hand.  Let  her  have  the  opportunity 
of  learning  by  experience,  so  as  to  avoid  being 
betrayed  by  her  sympathies  or  by  well-con- 
trived imposture  into  injudicious  action,  and 
the  same  money  will  do  more  good  and  go 
further  in  her  hands  than  in  any  other  way. 
But  I  should  incur  the  risk  of  tiring  your 
patience,  already  too  severely  taxed,  if  I  were 
to  enlarge  upon  the  subject  now,  and  hope 
that  at  some  future  time  I  may  find  an  op- 
portunity of  bringing  it  before  you. 

Here,  then,  is  the  true  idea  of  woman's 
mission.  In  her  own  place,  wherever  it  may 
be,  and  with  all  her  influence,  whether  it 


189 

seem  to  be  great  or  little,  let  her  count  herself 
as  the  missionary  of  Christ's  religion,  a  laborei 
with  him  in  the  cause  of  righteousness.  Lei 
her  light  so  shine  before  men,  that  they,  see- 
ing her  good  works,  may  glorify  the  Father 
who  is  in  heaven.  Let  her  become  the  salt 
of  the  earth,  remembering  also,  that  if  the 
salt  lose  its  savor,  the  purifying  influence  of 
religion,  it  becomes  more  worthless  even  than 
common  dust.  I  know  that  this  is  man's  mis- 
sion too,  and  that  his  life  also  becomes  de- 
based, unless  consecrated  to  goodness.  But 
woman  is  bound  to  the  same  cause  by  pecu- 
liar motives,  and  is  able  to  prosecute  it  under 
peculiar  advantages.  She  is  able  to  begin  at 
the  beginning,  to  direct  the  first  development 
of  the  mind,  and  almost  to  secure  its  growth 
in  righteousness.  She  controls  the  affections 
of  men,  and  thereby  moulds  their  character. 
If  she  could  only  understand  the  importance 
of  her  position  and  the  greatness  of  her  work) 
as  the  educator  of  the  human  race,  she  would! 
find  enough  to  employ  all  her  faculties,  andjv 
to  satisfy  her  highest  ambition.  Society  haa 


190  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

no  other  hope  than  this  ;  for  if  woman  be 
comes  worldly  and  irreligious,  society  is  edu 
cated  in  the  same  spirit,  and  its  tendencj 
must  be  continually  downward. 

In  view  of  such  great  responsibility  resting 
on  her,  have  we  not  a  right  to  demand  of 
society,  that  greater  means  for  woman's  edu- 
cation should  be  provided?  The  education 
of  the  young  is  exclusively  in  her  hands,  and 
her  natural  capacity  of  teaching  is  greater 
than  man's,  so  that  the  schools  of  our  whole 
land  are  likely  to  be  under  her  control ;  yet 
the  provision  for  her  own  education  is  so  im- 
perfect, that  she  requires  an  unusual  degree  of 
diligence  to  become  a  well-educated  person. 
In  this  respect  society  seems  blind  to  its  own 
interests.  Legislators  experiment  in  law- 
making,  and  incur  the  risk  of  dividing  fami- 
lies by  making  a  separate  purse  between  hus- 
band and  wife  and  by  granting  every  facility 
of  divorce, —  experiments  at  which  I  cannot 
help  looking  with  a  good  deal  of  distrust; 
but  they  do  comparatively  little  to  elevate  the 
standard  of  woman's  education.  A  state  is 


191 

seldom  ten  years  old,  perhaps  not  passed  from 
the  leading-strings  of  territorial  government, 
before  it  has  colleges  and  universities  and 
high  schools  for  boys  and  young  men ;  but 
for  females,  the  village  school,  with  or  with- 
out a  beggarly  appropriation,  is  accounted 
enough.  But  legislators  do  as  their  constit- 
uents demand,  and  the  blame  therefore  rests 
where  the  punishment  is  felt;  for  the  conse- 
quence is  that  women  are  but  half-educated, 
and  their  duty  as  mothers  and  teachers  but 
half  performed. 

Nor  does  the  neglect  cease  with  the  school 
days.  The  whole  arrangements  of  society, 
even  in  the  most  advanced  cities  of  the  world, 
seem  to  indicate  that  it  is  not  expected  of 
women  to  read  or  think,  but  that,  as  a  gen- 
eral thing,  it  is  enough,  after  her  routine  of 
duties  is  over,  to  enjoy  herself  and  be  agree- 
able. 

We  have  lately  seen  in  the  newspapers  de- 
scriptions of  magnificent  hotels  in  Eastern  cit- 
ies, built  and  furnished  at  a  cost  beyond  that 
of  palaces ;  and  among  the  arrangements  we 


192       •  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

find  every  appliance  of  luxury  and  elegance. 
For  gentlemen,  a  reading-room  is  supplied 
with  newspapers  and  journals  from  every  part 
of  the  world,  and  with  every  facility  for  using 
them.  But  for  ladies,  Turkey  carpets  and  silk 
curtains  are  enough,  and  neither  book  nor 
journal  nor  newspaper  is  provided  for  their 
use.  Would  it  not  be  a  popular,  as  it  would 
certainly  be  a  judicious  movement,  to  provide 
a  reading  parlor  or  circulating  library,  together 
with  other  luxuries  ? 

Care  enough  is  taken  of  woman's  comfort, 
but  it  would  be  well  to  think  more  of  the  in- 
tellectual enjoyment,  and  not  compel  her  to 
resort  to  gossip  or  shopping,  for  the  sake  of 
passing  the  time. 

In  our  library  associations,  also,  which  adorn 
every  city  and  will  soon  become  the  pride  of 
ours,  how  small  encouragement  is  given,  ex- 
cept to  men,  for  their  use !  The  lady  may 
visit  them  as  a  matter  of  curiosity  or  for  the 
selection  of  a  book,  but  no  place  is  assigned  to 
her,  where  she  can  feel  at  home,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  reading  books  which  she  may  no* 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  193 

wish  to  take  away,  or  where  she  may  be  quite 
sure  that  she  is  not  intruding.  I  think  that 
she  should  have  equal  rights  and  privileges  in 
all  such  institutions.  Give  her  the  facilities 
of  continued  self-education  and  she  will  prob- 
ably use  them.  Nearly  all  of  us,  whether 
men  or  women,  conform  ourselves,  in  a  great 
degree,  to  what  is  expected  of  us.  Let  so- 
ciety expect  and  require  of  the  young  lady 
to  be  fond  of  reading  and  diligent  in  self- 
culture,  and  she  will  probably  be  glad  to  be- 
come so. 

But  after  all  the  aids  that  society  can  give, 
the  work  of  moral  and  intellectual  improve- 
ment is  chiefly  in  our  own  hands.  It  is  a 
work  of  self-culture  more  than  any  thing  else. 
The  Scriptures  teach  that  even  our  salvation 
must  be  worked  out,  under  Divine  direction, 
for  ourselves.  The  same  is  true  of  education 
in  knowledge  and  virtue,  in  the  present  life. 
The  young  must  take  hold  of  it  with  an  indi- 
vidual purpose.  They  should  Use  the  means 
within  their  reach  to  the  best  advantage,  and 
13 


194  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

they  will  find  that  small  opportunities  well 
improved  are  better  than  the  greatest  if  used 
less  carefully.  Let  me  end,  therefore,  as  I  be- 
gan, in  urging  upon  them  the  necessity  of 
thoughtfulness  and  industry.  Let  the  young 
lady  determine  that  she  will  not  be  a  trifler, 
devoted  to  pleasure,  desiring  only  to  be  waited 
on,  greedy  of  admiration,  driven  to  and  fro  by 
every  wind  of  fashion.  Let  her  be  at  least  as 
careful  in  the  adorning  of  her  mind  as  of  her 
person.  Let  her  have  principles  of  conduct, 
from  which  neither  the  example  nor  persua- 
sions of  thoughtless  people  can  make  her 
swerve.  However  highly  she  may  prize  the 
elegances  of  life,  let  her  prize  still  more  highly 
the  substance  of  life,  which  is  found  in  mod- 
esty and  a  well-governed  temper;  in  gentle- 
ness of  manners  and  a  womanly  character. 
Some  may  smile  at  the  homeliness  of  my  ad- 
vice, and  they  may  find  a  more  attractive  and 
easier  way  in  the  routine  of  fashionable  life. 
They  may  say  that  they  have  no  particular 
desire  to  be  wise  and  well-instructed,  judicious 


WOMAN'S  MISSION.  195 

and  good  women,  and  that  they  are  satisfied 
to  enjoy  themselves  as  they  go  along.  Theii 
conduct  proves  the  sincerity  of  their  words, 
but  they  will  probably  live  to  see  the  daj 
when  all  their  fascinations  will  not  save  them 
from  neglect,  and  the  real  trials  of  life  wib 
prove  the  necessity  of  real  strength  of  char* 
acter. 

Finally,  let  the  foundation  of  character  be 
laid  where  alone  it  can  be  well  laid,  in  re- 
ligion. "  Remember  thy  Creator  in  the  day? 
of  thy  youth."  Hold  fast  to  that  religion 
which  has  redeemed  your  sex  from  servitude 
and  degradation,  and  which  is  needed  to  re- 
deem your  own  souls  from  the  servitude  of  the 
world  and  the  degradation  of  a  selfish  heart 
Be  religious  ;  not  sectarian  or  bigoted,  as  if 
the  riches  of  God's  grace  were  confined  within 
the  limits  of  this  or  that  church ;  nor  with  a 
sentimental  piety,  very  devout  on  Sunday  ana 
very  worldly  through  the  week ;  but  be  re 
ligious  with  genuine,  sincere  faith,  with  hu 
mility  towards  God  and  charity  towards  man 


196  WOMAN'S  MISSION. 

Learn  to  be  followers  of  Jesus  Christ,  who  first 
understood  the  depths  of  woman's  nature,  and 
whose  religion  bestows  upon  her  a  strength 
which  is  not  her  own. 


THE    END. 


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